The Next Chapter

생일 탐색

2012-02-01T06:21:00.000-08:00

사랑해요 여보! 생일 많이 축하합니다! 당신의 탐색 거의 끝났어요^_^. 재임스 본드 DVD "From Russia With Love" 확인해 보세욨^_^

Japan Trip, Day 1

2012-01-13T04:46:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I know it's been a loooooooooong time. And instead of writing a lot, I'll just post the first of 5 videos here: Hopefully I'll be able to put up a new video each week^_^. If you click on the link, you can watch it in HD^_^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbKKa5aMe8o

By grace, not just passion

2010-10-13T23:07:00.000-07:00

For the past 3 weeks now I've been battling sickness and fatigue. This happens to me once or twice a year, I go through seasons of poor health. Some are longer lasting than others. But so far they have been quite regular and expected. The hardest thing for me is how to deal with them. Physically, I get through these seasons without too many problems. Yes, I often feel tired, get headaches, or get the common cold, but that's just part of life, and we all come down with things here and there. So physically, it's not so much the issue. It's more of a spiritual battle that I face with these illnesses.

I live much of my life fueled by passion. If I'm passionate about something, that's what I devote myself to. And devote all of myself to that thing. I can trace it back in my life to many different areas of speciality. Whether it was film-making, film-watching, collecting various things, hobbies, whatever it was, I have a very easy tendency to become one-track minded, and focus much of my energy on that thing. In Korea, thankfully, God pointed that tendency towards the truth of God's word. And thus I became very content just to read the Bible, listen to sermons, and study theology. And I became so passionate about it that I decided that this is where God was leading me career wise. And I still believe that is where God is leading me.

But unfortunately, while passion does produce massive amounts of energy, will, and motivation, passion can also die out, and when it does, there is very little left to fuel you. I've known this danger for a while, and I've tried to keep a close watch on it. I do believe that passion is a good thing, and one of God's tools that he gives us in order to glorify Him. I believe the Bible calls us to live with passion and worship with passion. If we're not passionate for God's glory, there's something wrong in our hearts. But what happens when the passion does fade. And then I started to think about my sickness.

Like many people, when a person becomes sick, they become very inwardly focused and also perhaps very simplistic. My passion for the bigger, greater things in life tends to diminish when I want to do is...nothing...but rest and feel better. This unsettling to me, as a man driven by passion. And in my times of sickness and diminishment, I need to pray to God that he will restore my passion for the truth of his word and the declaration of it.

But I wonder, am I really relying on God to keep me going in service for His kingdom, or am I relying on my own passion to finish out the race? This is a difficult question for me that I think doesn't have a clean-cut answer. I do believe passion alone will eventually fail you. The sheer routine of life, the set-backs, the disappointments will wear down the passion of any man or woman, no matter how strong they may feel it is. So passion alone will not cut it. But at the same time, to abandon passion for a dull, play it by the books, hollow, stick it out service mentality sounds worse in some ways to me. At least with passion, you feel like you'll make it at least some distance, but to abandon passion sounds like you're dead already.

So what do I do right now? My body, my flesh, is at odds against me. It's not helping me to live passionately for Jesus. My body is crying out for comfort and a lifestyle that requires little passion to carry on. What do I do?

I don't abandon passion, but I also don't rely on it either. I think that's the key. If you rely only on passion, you'll give up whatever you do at the first sign of difficulty, because you have no conviction, no foundation. But if you abandon passion, the whole purpose of what you're doing has been lost.

So if I desire passion, but can't rely on it, then I must rely on the giver of my passion. And that points me back to Jesus. If you can honestly say that you have a holy ambition, or a holy passion, then it is right to believe that you have been given that passion from God. And thus, he is the source we look to when we need a regeneration of that passion. The problem with my original outlook on my own weaknesses, physically particularly, is my propencity towards believing that anything good comes from me. If my passion fades when I get sick, I tend to believe that I am the one who produces the passion. And perhaps some of that is true, but that's not the kind of passion I want or need. I need a passion that doesn't fade in times of trouble. A conviction that doesn't leave me in my weak moments. And that can only come from God's wealth of grace.

The truth is, no one is 100% on fire for Jesus all the time. And we all have seasons of doubt and discouragement. But I think what I've learned is those seasons are great opportunities that God gives us in order for us to re-evaluate where our strength is coming from. Perhaps, we're relying way too much on ourselves, and God takes us out of the equation for a while in order for us to realize that it's not by our own will power and passion that we press on, but it's by his grace alone which produces an everlasting passion in us that will withstand much more than any kind of passion we muster up on our own strength.

And thus, I've been reminded yet again, that I am weak. But when I am weak, he is strong, and in my weakness, his power is made perfect. I have been reminded that through out the Bible, time and time again, God uses weak people to accomplish his deeds to show that it is not by our own strength that we succeed, but by His sufficient grace in our lives.

I would say I am on the tail end of my sickness now, and I hope and pray this will mark the beginning of a season of health and fruitfulness in my life. But often in life, as fish you can't see the water you swim in, and at times, it was hard to see the passion I know I should have for the bigger things of God and of Christ. And I pray that I will recieve my passion from Christ alone, so that next time I fall into one of my episodic illnesses, I will maintain my passion better even as my body fails me.

To Christ be the glory and honor forever!

The Lord rewards faithfulness above fruitfulness

2010-09-24T03:43:00.000-07:00

Happy Chuseok everyone. I have had off this entire week, except Monday because Korea celebrated Chuseok this week, which is probably the biggest Holiday in Korea. It’s similar to America’s Thanksgiving, and it’s a time to celebrate the Harvest and be with family. This year, I was blessed by God in being able to spend Chuseok with Jungmin and her family. Jungmin and I went with her Aunt and Uncle and two cousins to CheonJu (Jungmin’s hometown) on Monday night. We stayed their until Thursday lunchtime. It was an amazing Chuseok, most definitely the best one I’ve had in Korea. We did so many fun things. We ate a lot of great food. I can’t even begin to list all of the amazing dishes we had. Each meal we ate was a feast fit for Kings and Queens, and it was just an amazing time to celebrate God’s provision for us. We also went to a fortress in Cheongju on Tuesday afternoon where we sat on the grass, caught dragonflies, played soccer and badminton, walked along the fortress wall, and chatted. We also played basketball back at Jungmin’s family’s apartment complex. And of course, we ate lots of great food, and I was able to help out Jungmin’s father a bit with grilling meat. It was so delicious. I was able to meet many of Jungmin’s cousins, her aunt and uncle, and her grandmother. They were all so kind to me and I really love spending time with her family. On Wednesday morning her relatives left back for Seoul, but Jungmin and I stayed with their with her mother, father, and sister, and her lovely dog “Happy”^_^. Her sister, Jungmin and I went to downtown CheongJu to watch the movie “Superbad.” Now this is not the dirty comedy from a few years ago, this is an animated 3D children’s movie. It was AMAZING!! I really recommend everyone of all ages to go see this film. I had a smile on my face the entire time! We also later that night went to a Karaoke room, and sang for over an hour. It was so much fun. Jungmin and I also played boggle together, and it was awesome! I had a great time with her whole family, and I thank God so much for allowing me to be part of Jungmin’s family’s celebration. I’m so blessed by them every time I see them, and I love being with them!

Jungmin and I have been reading John Piper’s devotional book “A Godward Life” together. We’re about halfway through right now. Jungmin just left for Malaysia today with her family. Please pray for them, that they have a safe and wonderful trip together. They will arrive back in Korea on Tuesday. I can’t wait to see her again, and I can’t wait to see all of the pictures from their trip.

Before she left today, we read a devotional from John Piper’s book. This devotional was entitled “Lord-Focused Living at Work.” He based the devotional around Ephesians 6:7-8 which says, “With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.” This notion of working as working unto the Lord has been a very familiar idea in my life. It’s what keeps me motivated in the tasks I am assigned. I try my best to muster up joy each day in the fact that I going to work today to serve the King of the Universe. That yes, I have my human bosses, but ultimately, I’m working for a heavenly boss. And that makes me excited to go to work every day (granted, some days I’m more excited than others). So this idea is not new, but there was one phrase that seared itself into my mind, and it’s been stewing there all day. Piper might be quoting Billy Graham here, it’s hard to distinguish in how he wrote the sentence, but the sentence wrote, “The Lord rewards faithfulness above fruitfulness.” Piper was talking about how Billy Graham was talking with his staff and telling them that he thinks that many of them will be ahead of him in line in heaven for the Lord’s rewards, and he gave that sentence as his reasoning. And this idea just brings so many emotions to the surface for me.

I’ve heard many stories, and I know of many people who faithfully serve God week after week, year after year, decade after decade, and statistically, their labor does not produce the kind of fruit that I’m sure they hope and pray for. And fittingly, often, I see the discouragement that comes with those situations. And yet, these people continue to press on, they don’t give up. They are not fueled by the comfort and gratification of immediate or exponential results, instead, they are fueled by a faithfulness to God that grows stronger and stronger as they serve and love God more, despite results. And I have to think that all of these men and women who toil endlessly for the Kingdom must have an amazing view of heavenly rewards as they work. This gives me hope as I seek to live my life in service to the King. That ultimately, results are not up to me. That is God’s area of expertise. Billy Graham did have the effect he had based on his own merits ultimately. Now granted, his faithfulness was rewarded in fruitfulness. But, his faithfulness was no more intense and focused than someone else who was just as faithful if not more, and yet saw only 1% of the fruit that Billy Graham saw. Ultimately, all we can do in service to God is offer up sacrifices to him, and it is by God’s grace that those sacrifices will spring forth and blossom into amazing results. God is the one to be praised for Billy Graham’s ministry, not Billy Graham. And thus, fruit can not be the criteria by which God rewards people, since God is the one responsible for the fruit. Now granted, as many passages like Ephesians 2 and others mention, even our faithfulness is ultimately granted to us as a gift of grace by God. But nevertheless, the Bible gives clear commands to faithfully serve him, and also gives clear rewards to those who serve him faithfully. But the Bible does not say that he only rewards people who have a certain number of converts, or a certain sized church. God looks not at the outward appearance, but at the heart. He isn’t like a manager who gives a bonus to the person who made the most sales that year. Instead, he’s a manage who gives a bonus to the person he could tell worked most faithfully at his job, despite his sales.

One side note to mention as well is that when I talk about fruit, I am specifically focusing on the obvious. I’m thinking about a kind of kingdom fruit that is recognized right away. People who’s churches flourish quarterly by the thousands have immediate fruit that anyone can recognize. So when I talk about people who faithfully serve, and yet see little fruit, that does not mean that there is no fruit. I believe anyone who serves faithfully, God will use! God does millions of things in every single little tiny event that we have no idea about. The effect of one good deed that we do could change the course of history 100 years in the future, and we’ll never know anything about it. I don’t think people’s faithfulness is ever wasted. I think God uses it all, but for some, much of it is never seen in this life. Two examples of this could be the pastor who preached the message that saved Charles Spurgeon. This pastor is still unnamed to this day. No one knows who that pastor was. That pastor probably didn’t know the effect he had. And yet, God used that pastor’s faithfulness to jump-start the service of the “prince of preachers.” Another example would be a man from Australia. I can’t remember his name, but to make a long story short, this man for almost 40 years, made a covenant with God to share the gospel with at least 10 people every day. Often it was just a simple question on the street like, “Do you know where you would go if you died today?” Not once in this man’s 40 years of faithful ministry did he ever see 1 convert!! Not one!! And yet, he remained faithful. Well, a pastor from Europe started traveling around the world and would meet many different people. As he met them he would ask them how they got saved. And on multiple occasions, people would mention a man from Sidney who approached them on the street with a simple question that got them thinking. Eventually the pastor sought out this man and found him. He was very old at this point. And the pastor told this man of the effect of his ministry, how probably 1000s of people had come to Christ as a result of this man, and the man just cried because he had never known any of that fruit, and yet he stayed faithful. So I do think that all faithfulness yields some sort of fruit, whether we realize this now or not.

But that’s not the main point. The main point I’m trying to make is that God rewards faithfulness above fruitfulness. This must be a strong conviction for anyone who wants to persevere in Kingdom work. And I pray that God will make faithfulness a strong characteristic in my life that will bring me through to the end so that God will say to me, “Well done, my good and FAITHFUL servant.” Notice, the Bible doesn’t say, my good and fruitful servant, no...it says my good and FAITHFUL servant. That is God’s requirement for his servants. Not that they are fruitful, but that they are faithful.

I think of many people when I think of this principle. First, I always think of the story of Don Carson. His father was a pastor in French Canada for pretty much most of his professional life I believe. And his father pastored a very small church his whole life. I don’t remember the number, but I want to say that it was in the 30s. But his father never stopped pastoring because he strongly believed that there were people in that area that God wanted to save through his ministry, and so he stayed strong, and committed himself to that small church. Now as many of you know, Don Carson, this man’s son, is now considered the top New Testament scholar in the world. And yet, Don Carson has not forgotten his father’s faithfulness, and thus even though Don Carson could easily fill up his schedule with only the top primary, big time speaking engagements, he has vowed to never ever deny a speaking request based on the size of the venue. That is powerful! And that makes it clear to me, that Don Carson, through the testamony of his father’s faithfulness, understands the principle that God values faithfulness more than fruitfulness.

Two men in my own life that I am reminded of are my father and my pastor from the USA. Both of them have exemplified faithfulness in their work to me that has shaped me in powerful ways. They both are faithful and loving husbands, fathers, neighbors, community workers, and are active in serving God and his church. My pastor has been the Pastor of Maple Glen Bible Fellowship for I believe over 20 years, but I’m not sure of the exact number, and my father has served as a faithful deacon and now treasurer for many years as well. The church has never been very big, and there have been many struggles along the way. Men of lesser faithfulness, and weaker backbone I believe would have given up already, but both of these men have remained faithful to God callings on their lives in their service to Him. And I know that in the grand scheme of all the churches in the world, my church from back home seems barely a blip on the radar, and I know that it has not been easy for the members of our church when things seem difficult, but I know that God has a HUGE reward awaiting them, and I really am so encouraged by their faithfulness. And I know just from personal experience, that God has blessed their faithfulness with much fruit. I think of the pro-life marches, the car washes, the volleyball summers, the baptisms, the missionaries supported, the missionaries sent out, the homeless helped, the children taught, the families cared for, the suffering who come to our church, recieve grace upon grace, and then go on their way, the illuminating sermons which have instilled in the flock at Maple Glen a robust theology that magnifies Christ, the hymns and praise songs that have been offered up to God, the lives changed, the hearts awakened, the dead being made alive, the marriages counseled, the singles counseled, the young counseled, the old counseled, the weddings performed, the funerals done, the foreigners welcomed, the weak cared for, the meals given to the poor, the youth groups provided, the Sunday School classes which enrich our souls, the friendships, the community events, and everything else that has been accomplished at Maple Glen Bible Fellowship, and I rejoice and praise God for his faithfulness to us, his fruit that was given to us through his grace, and his faithful servant who have served so faithfully through the years.

If I have my life marked by one thing, I would much rather it be marked by faithfulness, than immediate, famous fruitfulness.

Over 6 months

2010-08-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

Well guys, it's been a while, but I will try my best to start updating everyone again on how things are going. With blogs, once you get into a period of not writing, trying to get out is like little timmy trying to get out of the well without lassy there to help him. But even so, there are so many things to write about, so I'm sure I can make this happen.

I'll keep it short today because I'm heading to work soon, but I figured if I just wrote "something", then it would be a good first, small step.

Updates since last time.

1. God is good, all the time! And all the time, God is good!

2. I've been leading a small group bible study at my church for exactly 1 year now. Our last Bible study is tonight, and then we have a break for 1 month. I'm praying about what to do in October. Many things to consider. I'm not sure how much longer God is calling me to be a leader right now, but I'm hoping at least one more semester (3 months). There have been some great challenges with being a small group leader that I honestly was not ready to handle, but in God's grace, he's showing me that his grace is sufficient for me, and his power is made perfect through my weakness. There have also been countless blessings through the small group, and overall it's been a wonderful growing experience for me, and I value the time that I share with my members.

3. Dunamis (the college ministry I'm a part of) will be starting it's new semester this weekend. Students at Soongsil university go back to school this Wednesday, so we have our orientation this Saturday for our club. I will be teaching a media class again, using TV shows to teach English. I'm very excited to started Dunamis classes again, and I'm really excited about what I will teach, I think I've found a better method for students to have fun and learn many things. I've also been preaching at Dunamis worships on Saturday morning, and I haven't kept track, but it's probably somewhere around 10 sermons so far that I've preached. If you go to http://www.youtube.com/ and search "Dunamislove" you can find two of my messages on there. I haven't watched them, but I hope they are ok. Please pray for Dunamis, as we are really seeking God's help to share the gospel with the students of Soongsil University.

4. I've been working at my new job now for 3 months. It's been great. I just finished an 8:30-2:30 shift, and now this week I'm back to my normal 11 - 5 shift. That's how I'm able to write this blog now. I have 120 students, and they are all great. It's definitely a very different experience than my previous school, but overall I'm very happy with my new school, and I'm learning many things. It seems like for the most part, my students enjoy my classes, but I always need prayer to be a better, more creative, more patient, more loving teacher.

5. And the best update I have is that Jungmin and I are doing great! We are almost at the 6 month point in our relationship, and I couldn't be happier! We have already done so much together, and we've grown a lot as we've strived to keep God as the center of our relationship through prayer together, devotionals together, talking about God's will for our lives, and fellowship with other Christians. I thank God so much for his blessing over our relationship, and it's so amazing to see God's hand at every corner in our lives. He's orchestrating a wonderful masterpiece, and it's very amazing to see it unfold:) I've also been able to spend a lot of time with her family who lives out of Seoul. I love going to her family's town to spend time with Jungmin and her family. They are so kind and so supportive, and we have so much fun every time. Most weekends, I wish I could there:)

Overall, God is blessing me in huge ways here. There are many more things to share, but I have to get to work soon, so I'll stop now. I'll leave with a few pictures:)

2nd Japan Trip: Tokyo

2010-02-20T03:28:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, on February 13th, I woke up at 6:30 in the morning, after having only gotten a few hours of sleep, ready to start on my journey to Tokyo Japan. I only got a few hours due to mere excitement about this trip. I had spent the entire week before planning and preparing what I wanted to do there. Before I get into the actual details of the trip, the way this trip happened was actually quite interesting.

Last year, at this same time, during the Chinese Lunar New Year (설날), I went to Kyoto Japan. It was simply amazing. I put up a blog post last year if you want to see it. This year, I really wanted to go to Japan, but I wanted to go somewhere different this time. See a different side of Japan. I thought that Tokyo might be as different as I could get. I talked about it with some friends, and they also wanted to go to Japan, but they wanted to go to Osaka. That seemed fine with me as well, so I decided to go with them. I told my friend from church that I was going to Japan, and she said, "I want to go to Japan too! Can I come with you?" That sounded fine to me. Then she asked some other people, and they all wanted to go to Japan as well. Suddenly, now there were about 5 people who wanted to go. Except they wanted to go to Tokyo. This turned out to be a problem. I didn't want to abandon the people I originally planned on going with, but my heart was set on Tokyo. So after much thought and prayer, I decided to go with my church friends to Tokyo. It turned out well, because my other friends ended up not going anyway.

So now 7 of us were on our way to Tokyo. We decided to stay there for 3 days and 2 nights. Tickets weren't cheap due to the holiday season, but it was worth it! There were 5 girls going and 2 guys. My friend Zack, who has gone on many adventure with me through out Korea was my other guy traveling friend. The other girls were all people from church and Dunamis, (Zack is from Dunamis too.) they're names are Hannah, Jade, Susie, Cathy, and Helen.

Zack and I rode an airport bus to Incheon at 8 in the morning to get there at 9 for our 11:30 flight to Tokyo. One of our friends Jade was lived in Japan for 6 months, so she had some host families that she was staying with, and she left for Japan the day before we did. Another friend Cathy also left a day earlier too.

So 5 of us left Incheon together for Tokyo. I brought the most money along, because I remembered how expensive Japan was the last time I went, and I didn't want to be strapped for cash while I was there. I officially named the "Bank of Sanders" while I was there; a title I reluctantly accepted (don't worry, all debts have been settled:)). We arrived at Tokyo, and proceeded with haste to find the fastest way into downtown Tokyo. There were two trains that went into Tokyo. One was half the price of the other, with only a 20 minute difference, so we went with the half-priced one. It was basically like a subway train, with very very hot heated seating that had everyone sweating once we arrived in Tokyo.

When we got into Tokyo, we went straight for our first lodging, since we had all of our luggage with us. We had to take the subway from the train station to get to our first "hotel." I had heard from people that the Tokyo subway was a nightmare to navigate, and I was a little nervous about that. But after living in Seoul for so long, it was not that different or difficult. The worst part about the Tokyo Subway is the prices. It's about double the cost of Seoul's subway. The other problem is that different subway lines are operated by different companies, so sometimes when you transfer, you have to pay a whole new fee to go on a different line. One time went about 4 stops, and we ended up paying almost 6 dollars. Where as in Korea that would have been 90 cents. But anyway, the subway was kind of fun, and not to difficult to get a handle on.

We got to a place called Asakusa, which the traditional section of Tokyo. It was where our first hotel was. But we all wanted to have the most "Japanese" experience as possible, so we decided to stay our first night in a place called a "Ryokan." This is like a traditional Japanese hotel. You slept on mats on something called Tatami floors. There were the traditional sliding, paper doors, and you even were able to drink tea in your room. It was so cool. The hallways even played traditional Japanese music. I also got to where a cool robe (just like in Kyoto).

As soon as I put my bags down at the Ryokan, I was ready to go exploring. My list of things to do was about 30 items long, and I knew that was physically impossible, but I wanted to check off as many as possible, so there was no time to waste. Thankfully other people were willing to join me on my quest to experience as much as Tokyo in the time we had. I was really so incredibly grateful to the people who went. Many people were very willing and gracious to follow the plan I had set, and I really feel so humbled by there example of patience and willingness for adventure, even when we weren't sure where we were going. People didn't argue too much over what we wanted to do, people just went with the flow, and that was so cool.

Out of the 6 of us who were at the Ryokan at that time, 4 of us (Me, Zack, Susie, and Cathy) decided to leave right away to start exploring.

We left Asakusa for Akihabara. I did a lot of research on places to go, and Akihabara was definitely high on my list of places to go to. As many of you know, back in high school and some of college, I was very interested in Anime. I watched a lot of Anime, and I always wondered what the Anime culture was like in Tokyo. Akihabara was my chance to find out. It is the electronic, anime, video game central hub of Tokyo. All the people interested in any of that stuff go there. And when I got there, I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume and magnitude of everything. Each store had at least 8 floors, all filled to the brim with products. Any possible DVD or CD you could think of, they had. Every video game known to man was here. It was sensory overload being there.

The first stop we had was to a place called the "Tokyo Anime Center." I read many things about this place, so I wanted to check it out. It was ok, but smaller than I expected. They had some cool little things there, and a nice gift shop with some interesting items for sale, but overall, I would be much more overwhelmed by other places later. Still, it was worth going to. Then we went to a place called "Club Sega." I read online that this place was most popular arcade in Japan for the best gamers to come to. It was about 6 or 7 stories of all arcade games. Then we made our way to a gift shop that sold many little cute items called "Kotobukiya." I bought many little items at this shop. After exploring a few other shops, it was time for dinner.

We headed to a place called Ginza, which was the more wealthy shopping district of Tokyo. It was surprisingly empty there when we went. We looked around for some restaurants for about 30 minutes, and then finally settled on a nice little noodle(라맨)place. The noodles were sooooo good. It doesn't get much better than that place for me. We met Hannah and Helen at the noodle restaurant, and then we headed off to Tokyo Tower to end our night.

It's like the Eifel Tower of Japan, and it was worth seeing in my opinion. Unfortunately, it was closed when we got there, so we couldn't go to the top. But it was still cool to say that I went there.

While we were there, we spotted Tommy Lee Jones on the front of vending machine. Earlier in the week, I had noticed that Tommy Lee Jones had done a series of commercials for some beverage in Japan, so that's why he was there. I was trying to mimic his face the best I could.

At this time, it was about 11 at night, and after a quick stop at a convenience store, it was time to go home. (Side note: at that store, I found the energy bar that would keep me going for the rest of the trip. It was called Soy Joy, and I ate probably almost 10 total during my trip to keep up my strength.)

When we came back to Akihabara, we went back to the Ryokan. We spent a nice quiet night in the traditional hotel, and woke up very early (7:15 being early) to get a head-start on the next day.

We first went to a temple called Sensoji Temple. It was literally a 30 second walk from our hotel. It was very nice to walk around, and it definitely reminded me a lot of Kyoto, and all the beautiful places I had been to there. It also reminded me how much Japan is in need of Christ.

Then we ate a quick breakfast at a very popular Japanese chain called "Yoshinoya." Japanese people love to put things on top of rice bowls. So this one was pork on top of rice. Very delicious.

Then we checked out of the Ryokan, and took our bags to our second hotel. "The Park Hotel" near Ginza. This place was NICE!!!!!! Probably the nicest hotel I ever have, and maybe ever will stay in. The lobby is on the 25th floor of the building. That tells you how nice it is. You can see so much of Tokyo, just from the lobby.

We dropped off our bags quickly, and proceeded to go to church. We went to a church called "Tokyo Baptist Church" in a place called Shibuya. When we got to Shibuya, we couldn't find the bus we needed to take, so we just got taxis. We got to the church a bit late, but we got there in time to hear most of the sermon. It was a very multi-cultural church, even more so than my church in Korea. It was very nice to go to church there, and see Christians in the midst of a country that has a very low population of Christians.

After church, we headed back to Shibuya station for lunch. Now Shibuya is one of the most famous places in Tokyo, and you've probably seen it before in movies. It's the place where they have big TV screens on the sides of the buildings, and an intersection that when everyone crosses, from a top view everyone just looks like ants, there are so many people. Shibuya is a very trendy shopping, hang out, fashion, restaurant place for youth to come. We ate lunch there, and then proceeded to look around. There were many interesting things there, and many interesting people to see.

From Shibuya, we walked to a place called Harajuku. Harajuku is known for it's worldwide fashion statement. Basically, Harajuku is the place for the youth to come and express themselves however they want, in sometimes very shocking fashion statements. This is the place where you will see many people dressed up either as Anime characters (also Akihabara) or in goth style clothes. Gwen Stefani even made a song called "Harajuku girls" because the place is so unique.

Right at Harajuku is the famous Meiji Shrine. We went to the Meiji Shrine and were fortunate enough to witness a traditional Japanese wedding party walking through the courtyards. After coming out of the Meiji Shrine, we saw a girl dressed up in a pink dress and blond hair, and many people were crowding around her in Harajuku. When we went to see what was going on, it turned out to be a middle-aged man dressed up in the costume. It was quite shocking, and not what wanted to witness.

From Harajuku, we took the subway to perhaps the most well-known section of Tokyo, "Shinjuku." First, we went to see where all the Skyscrapers were. There were some very very cool buildings there, including the famous Tokyo Metropolitan Government building. Then we went to part of Shinjuku where all the bright lights are. If you've seen "Lost in Translation," the majority of the film was made in Shinjuku. The building were very impressive, and once again, the store were massive and would take a lifetime to go through thoroughly. At this point everyone in our party was quite exhausted. We shopped around for a bit and saw all the bright lights of Shinjuku, then took a 30 minute break to have some coffee and scones. In the cafe, four Korean women were sitting behind us. It was funny being there because only Jade could speak Japanese, and Susie could speak a bit, but the rest of us only knew a few words. So when I heard those Korean women speaking, I felt so comfortable because I could understand so much of what they were saying (in comparison to what I was understanding from the Japanese language.)

After Shinjuku, we went back to Shibuya for sushi. Then I saught out the Karaoke place that they went to in Lost in Translation. And I found it! We weren't in the same cool room as they were in, but still, we went to the same place, and I can say that I've been there!

When we were done Karaoke, it was about 12, but thankfully, the JR train line was still open, so we took the train back to our hotel. Here's the view from our hotel room at night!

The next morning, I wanted to wake up to go the sea port for Sushi at 6 in the morning (that's right, in Japan, they eat Sushi at 6 in the morning), but I was too exhausted. Two girls still managed to go, but I was in desperate need of sleep. I woke up around 9, and we had a meeting about what we would do that day before we left.

Some of us decided to go back to Shibuya for some more shopping. We ate lunch there, then Zack and I went to two cool shops. When was called Mandarake, and it had the biggest selection of Anime and comic books I had seen yet. I was quite overwhelmed. Then we went to the Tower Records store where I bought a CD for 3000 Yen, which equals almost 35 dollars. But everything in Japan was that expensive. I don't know how anyone survives there with those prices.

Afterwards we went back to the hotel to check out, and then people wanted to do some more shopping, but I wanted to do more sight-seeing. So I went by myself to a place called Odaiba. It's like a man-made island which has many futuristic kinds of buildings. I went to the Fuji TV headquarters there, it was a really cool looking building. Then we all met up at the hotel again, and it was time to go to the airport.

That was the basic rundown of my trip. I'm so happy that I've been to the two major cities that I wanted to see in Japan, Kyoto and Tokyo. Did you noticed that the names of the two cities have the same letter, and can be re-arranged to spell either one:)

That's it for now! Praise God for a safe, fun, and exciting trip!

I want to write more about all of the insights I found about the culture, but this is already way too long, and I'm tired, so I'm gonna stop now.

Living with No Regrets

2010-01-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

There are two moments in the Bible that stick out to me in a very unique and special way. I feel that these two verses will never cease to amaze me in their preciousness, seeming unattainability, excitement, and utter disregard for everything that our world shouts at us.

Matthew 13:44 - "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

Philippians 1:21 - "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

I've meditated and dwelled upon these two verses so much over the past year, and the word that comes to my mind over and over again is "freedom." Joy is freedom. Freedom from regret. Freedom of worries or burdens. Free to die and loose everything for the sake of Christ.

At first glance, these two verses might seem very off-putting to the reader. Jesus calls the reader to give up everthing he has for the kingdom. Then Paul goes on to call the reader to die for Jesus. Neither of these seem like very juicy proposals upon first glance. But the very extreme nature of them is was makes them so precious. Only something so precious as Jesus is worth living and dying for. The price that you are willing to pay to attain something reveals the worth and value of it.

Taking each verse seperately, let's look at Matthew 13:44 first. The first phrase of the doubter that comes into my head is "buyer's remorse" or "regret." How many expensive purchases can each of us recall that have ended in regret. How many useless electronics, or broken-down cars have we thrown money into only to think of 10 other places where that money would have been better spent.

But I don't think that's the case with the man in the field. I don't think he bought that field, got the treasure, and then saw another treasure in another field and then tried to go pawn off the first one. I think the glory and light of Jesus shone bright enough in this man's life that he was unable to see anything but the treasure he bought.

The thing that makes this parable so beautiful is the phrase, "in his joy." The man didn't ponder over the sale. He didn't try and negotiate the price. He went and joyfully sold all his possessions to get that treasure. He didn't painfully part with his belongings. He probably would have used them for kindling if he didn't need toe money. The sum of all his possessions added up to nothing in comparison to the worth of the treasure he had found.

Jesus frees us to give up everything we have, for his sake. He frees us to do that, not regretfully, but JOYFULLY! I think over and over in my mind about the missionaries who have gone to the hard places in the world to share the gospel. I think of the people who have given up amazing careers, loving families, great friends, and comfortable lives because they saw the treasure for what it truly is, and they knew that they couldn't keep that treasure all to themselves. And I can't help but think that those people have to be the most free and joyful people on the earth. What else would make them do such a crazy thing. Only this kind of joy can produce such a self-sacrificial life.

Looking at Philippians 1:21, Paul expands on this idea, taking it to its logical conclusion. If we continue on with the story of the man and the field with the treasure, how do we find his life 5 years later. If the man with the treasure has sold everthing he has, then the only thing he has left is the treasure. There is nothing else competing for his affections. He has no other purpose than the treasure. The treasure is the ends. Thus, the treasure is his life. Thus, the man MUST have said with Paul, "for me to live is Christ." It's all he had to live for at this point, and it's all he wanted or needed to live for.

This might sound weird at first, but let me explain. I truly do believe that these two verses are in favor of the phrase, "less is more." Now I don't mean that Christ is somehow less than all of the other things in the world. Nor do I mean to say that there aren't legitimate affection to be sought after, such as marriage, family, career, fellowship, etc... But I think in our culture we have mentality that "more is more." We always need the newest technology. We always need to keep up with the newest trends. Watch the latest movies, listen to the latest music, be hip to the newest lingo. There's a slavery and bondage in that lifestyle. But for the man who has Christ and nothing else is the one who is truely satisfied. Everyone else is merely searching for satisfaction, but Paul and the man the in the field are two men who have found it.

This less is more concept clearly applies to marriage. We would all agree that 1 wife is better than 10. Why is that? Because the search is over. The mere idea of many implies some sort of dis-satisfactiton in our lives. Kids display this idea very well. So many children find one toy, one teddy bear, one blanket, and it's all they need. They don't need any other toys except that one. They don't want any other toys except that one. You could show you all the coolest new things in the world, and they would still go back to that dirty old, torn up teddy bear with drool all over it. Satisfaction is single-minded, and stable. One toy...one husband or wife...one treasure...one Lord of my life!

Being single-minded is the only way to live a life with no regrets. The moment you get greedy and start to think that you need more, is the very moment that you begin to regret things. Now being single-minded, in the pursuit of the wrong thing can certainly lead to regrets. But Christ can not and will not disappoint you. He is the very spring from which all pleasures flow. Every pleasure in the world is meant to point us to Christ. Being focused on Christ is like focusing on the sun. If you look at any beam of light, and continue to follow it, it always leads back to the sun. In the same way, if you follow any joy that you find in this life, to it's ultimate conclusion and source, it always stems from Christ.

I don't want to live my life with regrets. I want to be like Paul and the man in the field. I want to joyfully live for Christ, being single-minded on a satisfaction that comes from the bread of life. I don't want to think of all of the "what could have beens..." I don't want to think 30 years from now, "what if I would have really trusted Christ with my future back when I had options..." I want to be free to give up everything for him. When I think of hell, the first word that comes to my mind is "regret." I can't help but feel that every moment of hell, one must feel deep bitter well of regret. I don't want my life to be characterized by that feeling.

But, painfully, the only way to not live with regret is to take some huge risks. While the man sold all he had out of joy, I don't think he was blind to the risks. I think he knew the reality of the risks, it's just that the reality of the treasure made the risks seem like nothing. Thus, we must fight to see Jesus. As John Piper says, we sin so much because we don't see him clearly. If we saw him now the way we are going to see him in heaven, all of our issues of sin would become very very small. All of our petty wants and desires would become very very insignificant.

The second painful reality is that we don't take risks usually, because we don't see him. We don't believe that he'll sustain or satisfy us. We don't believe that he'll really be enough for us. We don't trust him enough to provide the kind of joy we need to desperately to take those risks. We don't believe that the living water will never make us thirsty again.

I know it's a very clique thing now that John Piper has made a big deal out of it, but I've felt this way for a long time, that "I don't want to waste my life, I want my life to count." Now, before, as many of you can probably attest to, I had an improper idea of what an unwaisted life looked like. I used to think that I had to have an important career. I had to be "somebody." I had to be significant in the world. Then my father, particularly through his humble example of living for Christ in the daily activities, particularly in caring for our elderly neighbor who didn't know Christ, really crushed that idea for me, and it was at that moment that I made the film "Got a Light." I made that film for many reasons, but the older I get, the more answers I get from a film that left me with so many unanswered questions. And the thing I am convinced of now is that the unwaisted life is one that is poured out like a drink offering for others, out of pure joy that spring from the fount of Jesus Christ. And the results are none of our concern, that's the beauty of it. The scale doesn't matter either. God is in charge of those aspects, he merely asks us to be faithful where we are. Perhaps that in our neighborhoods where we've lived our whole lives, or maybe that means we need to take a plane to the other side of the world. The key word there is faithfulness.

So many people hear, "just stay faithful where you are," and they think, "phew, now I'm off the hook from taking any risks." I don't think that's true. We need to be faithful to the spirit's calling on our lives. Have we been resisting some yearning from the spirit that has been on our hearts for years because we're scared to give some things up? I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud here.

I'll end things here. I'll leave you with a phrase that was on a plaque in John Piper's house growing up. I won't say anything about it, just think about it and see what it means for you.

"Only one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last"

Why food?

2009-12-28T22:56:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered why Adam and Even fell by eating? Why did God set that up as the parameter. Why didn't God tell Adam not to kill Eve, or not to lie? Why such a random thing as eating? Clearly Satan had already sinned at this point, and Adam and Eve had the capacity to sin it would seem. And yet, they hadn't sinned yet. I wonder, before the curse, the state of man's heart. After the curse, we are all now depraved, incapable, apart from Christ, anything but sin. But in the garden, pre-curse, Adam and Eve had no sin in their lives; yet they were capable of it.

This idea I must admit is quite confusing and perplexing to me. Could, say, Adam have killed Eve? I seem to think not, sense at that time, God saw no need to warn Adam of such a sin.

God also made everything good. What does that mean in relationship to Adam's capacity to sin? In his good state, he must have had the capacity to choose evil. He wasn't condemned until after eating from that which God forbid. And equally so, God would not have warned Adam unless there was a danger that Adam might have picked the apple. If Adam weren't capable of sinning, it seems irrelevant that God would warn him. It would be like God warning us not to sprout wings and fly. It's an irrelevant warning since we lack the capacity to do so.

So what does this mean about man's ability to choose something for God, or not. What does this mean about the goodness of God's creation. I mean, God said, it was very good! Those are God's standards, not ours. So that must mean that it was VERY, EXTREMELY good! And yet that goodness seems to have allowed man with the ability to sin. It allowed Satin with the ability to sin as well.

This also brings into question the intent of the original creation, and the intent of the new heavens and the new earth. I don't believe that anyone will ever sin in the age to come, but will we lack the capacity to sin? Why won't there be sin? Well, one thing that is obvious is that we will have glorified bodies and appetites like Christ. We won't be wired for sin at that point. Which seems to me then, that our glorified state will be much better than the original state of Adam before sin. Maybe that's obvious to you, but I'm just trying to work logically through these issues.

Once agian, I don't mean to say that God's original creation was somehow flawed, but at the same time, it does seem like the new heavens and new earth are going to be much different than the original creation. There are other things that point to this difference as well. The fact that Jesus will be our sun, so we will have no need for an actual, physical sun.

The difference to me, seems to come down to a pre-cross creation, and a post-cross creation. In the center-piece of all reality is the cross, then the original creation from the beginning, was not intended to be the fullness of God's glory. It doesn't mean that it wasn't very very good, it just wasn't everything that God had in store. The original creation I believe leaves soooo much room for the cross, and was created for the very purpose of the cross; mainly to display the glory of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Thus, sin had to be part of the equation of the original creation. Without sin, there's no cross. And this gets into a huge, incredibly mind-boggling debate about God's ability to ordain that something be without actually being responsible in any way for that action coming to pass. I don't intend to get into that now, but to merely say as I've been taught, that the Bible sees both as true, and has no problem with that seeming contradiction. As a man of the book, I'm prepared to have no problem with it either (that statement or sentiment did not come easy to me. It's taken me maybe 5 years to say that, and I'd be lying if I said I will never have to come back and go over the argument one more time in my head).

Now I've gone off on a tangent, and I've left little room for my purpose of writing this post. Mainly being, "Why the apple?" And I think the apple is the representative sin of all of mankind because it reveals to us the nature of all sin. Any good church-going person who's heard enough doctrine would agree that the route of the first sin, that of Satin, is pride. And it is this same pride that Satin uses to tempt Adam and Eve. Pride doesn't want to submit to a higher authority, but wants to take charge. Pride leads in one main direction, as it relates to God. It leads to distrust. It leads to doubt. Only a prideful person would doubt their maker. No one humble would have the ego to do such a thing.

When I look my own sins of doubt and disbelief, it's hard at that time to say it's pride. I wouldn't say, at first, that pride leads me to doubt God's plan for my future. If anything, it seems like the opposite. How can pride lead to a lack of confidence? Usually the most arrogant people are the most proud. So how can I say that pride is the route of doubt in God? I say that because the moment you say that God can't do something, you put the responsibility on your own shoulders. The moment you doubt God with your life, the only place you can place your life's burdens are on yourself. That's exactly what happened with Adam and Eve. They thought, maybe God doesn't know what's best for me? Maybe I should eat that apple and see what all this good and evil is all about, they acted out of pride in their own judgement over God's supreme wisdom. And isn't that the nature of every sin.

The best example of this sin is shown in our appetites. And thus, food is the symbol in the Bible. Our appetite tells us to eat that last piece of pizza even though we know it's glutony. Even though we know the Bible says something different, we think our judgement is somehow better. And this could be any appetite. Whether it's an appetite for food, fame, sex, money, respect, the list goes on, we all make decisions out of pride that says we know better than God what's best for us.

I've been reflecting a lot on the wisdom and loving nature of God as I've been reading through Deuteronomy. The law, in case you haven't noticed, in the Old Testament is pretty strict, blunt, and often harsh. I think anyone if we're honest would say at a first glance, God seems a little extreme in his decrees. And we would all probably go about listing off in our heads the ways we would do things differently. But the more I read the law, the more I see it's all out of love that God commands the things he does.

First, there's a ton, especially in Leviticus and Numbers, about cleanliness. I think a lot of this is just really practical. Touching dead people is not a very healthy thing to do. And God wants his people to be healthy. In Deuteronomy, God keeps relaying to Moses to say, "Be careful to obey all these words that I command you, that it may go well with you and with your children after you forever." God here is saying, "this is good for you." I don't give my laws to hinder your lives, but to make them better. Any parent or caring teacher understands this concept very well. And God knows that we won't get it on our own, so he has to lay down very very strict boundaries because we're so stupid at times. Lastly, I saw in Deuteronomy, over and over again, the warrants for death. They're all over the place. After every warrant for death, Moses ends with, "So you shall purge the evil from your midst." God knew how deadly and infectious sin is, and he knew that any source of sin must be cut off immediately. God's tactic against sin was all out war, and we should have this ame attitude in our own lives towards our own sin. We shouldn't let it meander. We must kill it, we must "purge" our bodies. If sin is like cancer, it will effect our whole lives and eventually destroy us. No good doctor is going to let a little bit of cancer just stay in the body. The surgeon's job is to get ALL of the cancer out of the body. And the most devistating news you can hear after a surgery is, "we didn't get it all out." It's the same with God's attitude toward sin in Deuteronomy. If you understand this principle, I think the Old Testament law makes much more sense, and is perhaps easier to deal with. Obviously, we must always remember the theocracy they were under at the time, and the Old verse New Covenant differences. But even so, God is immutable, and we must take God for who he is in the Old and New Testament, and love and worship that same God!

Fighting for Reality

2009-12-16T05:13:00.000-08:00

A couple years ago, I shared a devotional with my fellow staff members at Carson Simpsons Farm, the summer day camp I worked at for four summers. The devotional was based around the plot of the matrix, and I tied that into a biblical view of life. And the more I live my life, and see how God works in the world, the more parallels I see with that film and real life. Now obviously anyone who has seen the movie and done even a bit of research will want to tell me that the creators of the Matrix borrowed from many different religious and philosophical schools, and the film is in no way a truthful, correct Christian movie. And I understand those objections. But even so, it's almost, dare I say, providential that God allowed this film to be made. I don't think it's coincidence that so many Christians see the biblical nature of the film, and I wouldn't be surprised if I heard of hundreds of testimonies as to how the Matrix was a tool God used to draw them to Himself.

Now why am I bringing up the Matrix so randomly. It's been a while since I last watched the film. But my life, and particularly my reflections and meditations on God have led me to conclusions that seem strikingly similar to the themes presented in the Matrix.

The big theme I see over and over again in the film, and in life, is the struggle to control, and dominate the mind. Our thoughts. There is very little we do, in a moral sense that is, that doesn't pass through our minds at some point. Our mind is the source of all our actions, the ones that will be judged that is. It is the gateway or channel by which the gospel of Jesus Christ is recieved. Without the mind, we can not process what we hear? And if we can not process the gospel truth through our minds, then we can not possibly say that we have any capability of accepting that truth.

Romans 10:14 "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"

There are three questions raised in that verse where the mind is an essential and implicit factor in salvation. We can't believe or make any sense out of our hearing without a mind to interpret and respond to the message. I wonder how often Christians think about the vital role that the mind plays in a Christian's life. Usually I only hear about the heart, our deisres. Now people may want to debate the relationship between our heart and mind, but scriptures seems to find some difference between them.

Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'..." Why would he make an effort to make a distinction between the heart and mind if they were the same thing? Why make sure to mention both? I wonder if it's because so often we neglect the spiritual health and vitality of our minds, thinking that they don't play as serious of a role as our hearts perhaps.

Now to say that the mind and the heart are two seperate functions of our being does not mean that they act independently of each other. On the contrary, the very interwoven nature of the two is why it is so utterly crucial that we take time to nurture, and care for each. When one suffers, so the other does as well. It's similar to the body and soul relationship. We do not deny that our physical health has a direct correlation with our emotional status. When I'm healthy, I'm generally pretty happy. But when I'm sick, I'm generally prone to depression and distrust in my circumstances.

Thus it goes with the mind and heart as well. As I've mentioned before, our heart is so crucial to our faith. A faith or trust in God that has no affection for Christ is dead. A mere head-knowledge of our savior and Lord will bring no one into the kingdom. The heart must be fought for. But how is that fight waged? How do we bring our hearts into conformity with the gospel? How do we come to love the things that God loves, and hate the things that he hates. How do we see him each day as more beautiful, and more satifying that all of the temptations that scream in our ears from morning till night. I believe that this war is largely waged on the battlefield of our minds.

Our minds, if you like imagry, are perhaps like filters to our hearts. The mind only lets the heart engage with what it will allow it to recieve. The heart reacts to the things our minds are engaged with. If we engage our minds with only trivial ideas and matters, the heart has very little to work with there. And yet, the heart must love. The heart must ache for desires. The heart must attach itself to...something. And thus, if you only feed your heart with garbage, the heart will learn to love that garbage. The heart will see that garbage as food to nurish itself, unaware that that filth is slowly destorying it. Speaking at least personally, the heart to me seems pretty stupid, while the mind tends to be the more intelligent partner in this relationship. There's a lot of things I know in my mind, that I just can't seem to get my heart to go on board with. At the same time, there are a lot of things are know are pretty stupid, and yet my heart tells me that these stupid things are of the utmost importance, and all-satisfying.

So, if we recognize the weakness of the heart, we must take some huge steps to helping it out. Now, please let me clarify something here. When I say that the heart is stupid, I don't deny the fact that when Christ enters the heart, the heart immediately gets incredibly wise beyond all nature, and affirms the truth that Jesus is all satisfying. But with that said, the heart is still so easily swayed by sin. So I just wanted to clarify by saying that I believe that every human heart, at it's core, understands that only Jesus can satisfy it's deepest longings and desires.

Now back to the fight. Basically the point of this blog is to awaken us to the fact that for the sake of our hearts and minds, we must fight to see REALITY each and every day. Now what do I mean by reality? I would like to break up reality into two subcategories. The first one would be "normal reality," or "seemingly tangible reality." The second category I would like to present would be "ultimate reality." The clearest example I can see for this is in the gospel of John. Over and over again, Christ makes this distinction between the seemingly tangible reality, and ultimate reality.

The first example is with Jesus and the woman at the well. He says to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you(H) living water." 11The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12(I) Are you greater than our father Jacob?

Then later he tries to explain to her one more time, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of eternal life." Then the woman responds to him by saying, "Sir,(N) give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water."

So twice Jesus explains to her about the living water, and both times she misses it. Jesus also talks to Nicodemus about being born again, and Nicodemus questions about the logistics of how someone can "physically" be born again. He asks Jesus if someone can enter into their mother's womb a second time. And then again in John 6, Jesus refers to himself as the bread of life, but all the people want is physical bread for tomorrow. Then once he starts talking about having to eat his body and drink his blood they say that that's just way too difficult for them and most of them walk away.

John gives us three very concrete, clear examples of how people so often miss ultimate reality, and only go as deep as the surface realities. Now as learned, well-read, enlightened 21st century Christians, many probably would mock Nicodemus, the woman and the disciples saying how foolish they were not to see the obvious truth behind Jesus' message. And yet, I believe we are probably more guilty of this error than any three of them were. And I believe we are guilty of it each and every day. Let me explain how.

Let's just clarify two things here really quickly. When I say "ultimate reality," I'm referring to Jesus. When I say "normal reality", I'm referring to everything else. Our health, relationships, work, hobbies, clothes, appetites, everything. Now I will not go on to say that "normal reality" is bad or should be avoided. Not at all. But never-the-less, it isn't ultimate, and something that's ultimate should by the very definition of ultimate, be of greatest importance.

But there's a problem we face. While Jesus is the much more infinitely valuable reality in our lives, he is much much smaller and seemingly unattainable than the normal realities of life. No matter who you are, I think if people were honest, it's much easier and quicker to respond to and act on our desire for the hamburger, than it is to go read our Bible and spend time with the ultimate reality, Jesus! It's much easier to devote large portions of our day to seeking our trivial information like gossip among friends, catching up on the football games, or watching the Simpsons (that last one would be me), than it is to meditate and study the scriptures.

And it's because Jesus is smaller in our lives than he should be. And to some extent, understandably. We can't see Jesus. We can't touch Jesus. We can't audibly hear his voice. And yet we can see people, movies, friends, advertisements, posters, billboards, and so on. The fact is that normal reality is so easy to grasp and attain, and understand, but ultimate reality is so difficult to get a hold of and understand.

And if normal reality is much easier to understand and experience, it will also be that much more easily satisfying. It will seem that much more immediately gratifying. But if ultimate reality is more hidden, where we see it through a glass darkly, it becomes that much more difficult to delight in and take pleasure in.

But here is the paradox. Jesus, ultimate reality is INFINITELY more to be desired and satisfying than all other reality. He is a fountain of pleasure that satisfies the soul in deeper ways than anything else could ever do. He is more gratifying, and more delightful than every single normal pleasure combined. In fact, normal reality was created for the very purpose of pointing us to the ultimate reality. And the pleasures of normal reality were created for the sole purpose of pointing us to the ultimate pleasures that are only found in Jesus!

So we have this paradox at work. The biggest reality in the world often seems like the smallest. And the reality that often seems the least desirable, is the one that is most fulfilling. Let's go back to John for a moment.

Those people were totally set on normal reality. All they wanted was food and water. They could care less about eternal truths. The screams of normal reality were so loud, that the ultimate truth of Jesus was inaudible to them. Their minds' filters were blocking out all eternal truth, so their hearts weren't getting any of Jesus.

In the same way, we too are so often held back in our desires, because our minds are focused on the wrong things. I believe the Christian life is all about a struggle each and every day to see reality as it really is. To see Jesus! We have to fight to see Jesus everywhere we go and in every moment of our lives. We need to fight to see Jesus in our homes, at work, at restaurants, at movies, and dare I say it even at church. Because there are million small realities that we don't have to fight at all to see every day that can come to the forefront of our minds, and completely block us from seeing Jesus in clear view.

And if our minds can't see Jesus, how will our hearts ever grow in affection for him? My encouragement to you today would be to fight for desiring Jesus, and to fight for your heart, with your mind. What is your mind's energy being spent on? Could it be used more wisely? Could you be feeding your heart with better things?

Now let me just preface one more time by saying clearly that I have left out the crucial factor in all of this, and that is the fact that our mind CAN NOT percieve ultimate reality without the Holy Spirit allowing us to see Jesus for the ultimate reality that he is. We, left ourselves, are blinded by sin to ultimate truth, and we literally can not see it apart from the saving work of the Spirit. But I say this more to Christians who have already had their eyes opened, but now fight each day to keep them open.

(Note: If you've seen the Matrix, hopefully this post made some more sense in light of the ideas the Matrix talked about.)

Redeeming Battle Rap

2009-12-13T04:12:00.000-08:00

Earlier I posted a couple blogs about some Christian rappers that I was listening to, and over the past year or so, I've continued to listen and get more encouraged by their ministries. Many of these guys live in Philly, and many of them go to, and preach at Epiphany Fellowship, which is one of the churches that I podcast every week.

Recently I came across a video that just blew my mind away. For many of those who are reading this, you might need some background explanation. First, in the title, I used the term battle rap. Basically, battle rapping is when two rappers go against each other in a freestyle contest (meaning they are making up their lyrics on the spot, no preparation). Now I have to admit, that I've seen many battle raps on TV, and actually one in person in Philly once, and they are pretty impressive. These guys can just come up with really incredible, intelligent lyrics on the spot. They've got some incredible gifts and talents. Unfortunately, the problem with battle rapping is that it's almost always used to insult the other rapper in often a very degrading way. So most of the battle rapping I've seen has not been glorifying to God. But, as any good cultural analyst would point out, you can't say that just because medium isn't used correctly, that we should just throw it out.

And those are the same feelings of these Christian rappers in Philly. They saw the ligitimacy of battle rap, and redeemed it for Christ. What you will see in this video is "Christian battle rapping." Basically what they do is keep the format exactly the same, even the insult part of it. It's two rappers competing against each other, seeing who can say the better line to shut down the other person. It's almost like a lyrical debate in a sense. But the premise is that one rapper is "Christian" (like in Pilgrim's Progress), and the other rapper is "Sin." So the rapper playing "Sin" talks the way sin would talk, and basically trying to bring the Christian down (similar to CS Lewis' Screwtape), and the other rapper playing "Christian" heaps on all of the victory of Christ against sin.

You have to watch this video, it's amazing, and so awesome to see these guys redeeming culture where they're at. I love and respect these guys so much, they are totally on mission! This clip is only part one of 4 parts, so if you want to check out more, you can go to youtube to check out the other parts.

The guy wearing the Phillies jersey is named Shai Linne. I've actually posted a video about him before, but I can't stop giving him props, he's just the man!

He's so reformed and unashamed of it, and he preaches difficult, high level catachism in his lyrics. If kids were listening to these guys more, they'd have a better understanding of biblical theology than most people in the church these days I think. Check out the lyrics to one of Shai Linne's songs, they're on this video. He uses some big words here that I still get mixed up on sometimes. You have to go to the youtube site to watch it because my blog cuts off part of the screen, so you can't read all of the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RUciHVpCbw

Trusting the Lord (QT sharing)

2009-12-03T06:09:00.000-08:00

So in my daily devotions I've been reading through Numbers, and I find as I read the Old Testament, there's often such an untapped reservoir into the character of God. You learn to fear the Lord, and also want to praise him so much more by reading the Old Testament. But I'm sure everyone is already aware of this, so I won't waste my time preaching to choir on the importance of immersing ourselves in the Old Testament.

But one thing that really stuck out to me was in Numbers 13-14. In short, it's the passage where the spies are sent into Canaan to see what the promised land is like. They come back to the Israelites and all of them except Joshua and Caleb gave a despairing report of what they saw. They reported how the people in that land were much stronger than them, and that there was no way for them to overcome them. Then the people began to grumble and say how it would have been better for them to stay in Egypt. God's response to this lack of faith and trust in the Lord is quite strong. God basically says to Moses that he wants to strike the Israelites with pestilence and disinherit them for their lack of trust, and he'll allow Moses to start over with making a new nation. But Moses intercedes for the people, and God doesn't disinherit them, but he does end up killing all of the spies except Joshua and Caleb. He also extends their wandering for another 40 years.

And as I read this passage, I thought to myself, "this is all due to a lack of trust in God." The extra 4o years and all of the death is due to a sinful anxiety on the part of the Israelites. Now let's put ourselves in the position of the Israelites before we write them off as fools who should have trusted God. The people in Canaan were much stronger than the Israelites, so by mere human strength, they couldn't win. How often do we judge a situation without once consulting God? How often do we make choices while forgetting that the God of the universe is on our side, working all things for our good?

I found myself reading these passages with a humbled spirit and honestly an ashamed one as well. More and more, God reveals to me my unbelieving, untrusting, forgetful heart. More often God shows me how much I'm relying on my own strength, and putting no trust in him.

Now people always talk about trusting God. But I find usually we talk about it in an either light manner, or as merely something that would be beneficial for us to do. And the Bible obviously sees it as beneficial for us as well. Passages like Matthew 6:25-34 and Philippians 4:6-7 are some of the most comforting passages in the Bible, and I'm sure these are passages that many of us have memorized (or at least a paraphrased memorization).

But if you look at Numbers 13 and 14, and Mark 4, we get a different side of the trust coin. In Mark 4, when we look at the parable of the sower, we see that when the seed falls on one of the bad soils, the truth is choked out by the "cares" or "worries" of this world, and that makes the soil unfruitful. Do we really recognize the warning being presented in this passage? That worrying and anxiety leads to unfruitfulness. Then if we turn to John 15:2, Christ is clear that the Father cuts off any branch that doesn't bear any fruit. Do we see the concrete contrast between a Christian and one who is swept up in anxiety and worrying?

And looking again at Numbers, I see the seriousness that worrying is as a sin. We generally I don't tend to think of not trusting in God as a sin, but obviously God sees it as a very serious sin, a sin that's worthy of death. Usually like I said earlier, trusting in God seems like an added bonus, but not a necessity. But on the contrary, trusting in God is what faith is all about. Without a deep-rooted trust in Christ, you can not call yourself a Christian.

Now that might be obvious to most people. Obviously we have to trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, but how often do we trust in him for the daily cares of our lives? How often do we trust God with such a serious matter such as our eternal destiny, but think that he can't handle the next couple weeks of our lives because of some important decision we have to make.

This hits me hard as I think about my battle to make a decision about next year. I really want to go to seminary, but then I think about all of the bad things that "could" happen, and all the things I'll be giving up by leaving Korea. Now this is not to say that I shouldn't make a wise, informed, well-thought out decision, but am I making this decision in the blanket trust of God. Am I bringing my petitions before God like in Psalm 25 and 32, that he will counsel me in the steps I need to take? I can't honestly say that I've done this well. One of my biggest sins is in this very area. I don't trust people, or God easily. But this doesn't make me any less responsible to do it, and passages like Numbers let me see this issue in a new light; and show me how offensive this sin is to God.

May we all seek to trust God more for everything, because I honestly think if you say that you trust him with the big things (like salvation), but you can't practically trust him for tomorrow's food, there's an imbalance there that needs to be examined carefully. That's what I'm seeking to examine in my own life now.

Urgent Prayer Request

2009-11-15T03:23:00.000-08:00

Please pray for my health these days. Since I've come back to Korea this past August, my health has been pretty bad. I can't really remember the last time I've felt that great. It's just been one thing after another and I don't know what to do about it. I'm extremely frustrated by the whole situation and don't know how much longer I can handle the pressures of work and all of the other responsibilities I have with my declining health. Please pray that God will give me a huge boost of strength to finish out my contract here in Korea!

I'm becoming a biography buff

2009-11-02T05:20:00.000-08:00

I've realized in the past 2 months or so that I'm becoming a biography buff. I love biographies. They fascinate me to no end. They not only fascinate, but they also encourage and inspire! Now this is actually not a new thing for me when I think about it. In past years, my focus of biography was on movie directors. I struggled to find everything I possibly could on the directors I loved most. I bought books, watched interviews, read critiques, and studied their films endlessly. I think I have a tendency to latch onto some object of research, and then seek to attain as much knowledge from it as possible. First, it was movies. Recently, it's been Christian biography. I've been listening to a slew of a lectures by John Piper, each about an hour long, with 30 minutes for Q & A afterwards. They are so interesting. Since I'm not a good or fast reader, these lectures have been so beneficial for me, because I get a good amount of important details on the lives of these men, some great commentary and applications, and most importantly I've been able to see the similarities and also the differences between so many amazing, godly men of the past.

Some of the men I've learned about are C.H. Spurgeon, George Whitefield, Bill Piper, Andrew Fuller, Athanasius, William Tyndale, John Newton, John Bunyan, St. Augustine, John Calvin, Martin Luther, John Owen, J. Gresham Machen, William Cowper, Martin Lloyd-Jones, and Jonathan Edwards. Piper just reads some biographies about these men, and then each year at the annual pastor's conference, he gives his reflections on the biographies he read. These men are so graciously used by God that it's really hard to even consider or imagine yourself among that list. In fact, apart from the grace of God, I would say, near impossible. Now someone like William Cowper who would never put himself in that list is another story. His is perhaps the most heart-riveting, disturbing, and challenging story I've listened to yet. Cowper was a man who struggled with dibilitating depression his entire life, survived literally dozens of suicide attempts, suffered 4 major, life threatening attacks of depression that sank him into utter darkness, and yet he is a man responsible for some of the most glorious hymns ever written. He wrote hymns like:

"GOD moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm."

and...

"There is a fountain fill'd with blood
Drawn from EMMANUEL's veins;
And sinners, plung'd beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains."

If God can use a man such as William Cowper, I think there is hope for literally anyone. The thing that people like C.S. Lewis, and Lewis' benefactor Piper often point out is that biography and reading the writings of the past are incredibly important because they give us a frame of reference that is outside of ourselves. We can't see our own blindspots in our culture today, so when we look at writers of the past, they merely had different blindspots. They can see things in our culture that are clearly wrong that we never would have had eyes to see ourselves, and we see things in their culture that seem so blatently wrong but to them, they were unknown. Someone once said that it would be just as perfectly fitting for us to read works of the future, the only problem is that we can't get our hands on them, so we'll have to make due with works of the past.

I think this principle is so true, and I cherish it. Particularly looking at the life of the puritans, you see a kind of raw, survivalist Christian rigor that is simply impossible to attain in the lives we live with such comfort and triviality. Now I don't know if this means that we should even try to immitate that sort of lifestyle since the circumstances won't permit it and they would perhaps not be as beneficial as they were at the time, but that note of caution is but a small whisper in my head compared to the clear, audible scream in my ear that cries, "We need men like the puritans TODAY!" We need their view of God and life. Just for me, to get tastes and glimpses of their perspectives on life have been incredibly beneficial for me.

I hope, when I get the time, to purchase some of these biographies and study more about these men, their lives, and their published works.

The Phillies made it, AGAIN!

2009-10-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, this is amazing. The Phillies are in the world series again! Two years in a row. Back to back. What an amazing accomplishment...

And where am I? I'm about as far away from all of it as you can get. On the other side of the world. Where not one person has told me. Where not one soul has mentioned how overjoyed their hearts are about this outcome. About how worried they are about facing the Yankees.....and on and on....I'm missing it all. And honestly, it's opened my eyes to something major.

Now what I am about to say is not meant to spoil any joy, kill any fun, or take away from the excitement of the world series. Especially when our good ol' Phils are in it. But I just wanted to share some reflections I've been having recently about this phenomenon we call "sports."

When I went back home in July to see my family and friends for a month, there were many things that I missed, many things that I enjoyed, and also many things that I had forgotten about. One of them is "sports chat." In South Korea, they have sports, but it's much less pervasive in the culture. Teams are not categorized by location, but instead by company. So the Samsung team will play the LG team. Things like that. So needless to say, not too many people care about it. The only thing Korea really gets fired up about is the World Cup. And as for now, I'm not really around for that. So being in South Korea for so long, I forgot how much of American's conversations are dominated by, and often centered around sports.

Literally, basically, honestly, I would say 80% of the people I talked to in America mentioned the Phillies within the first 15 minutes of conversation. It's just classic, "how's the weather?" conversation; instead it's "how about them Phils?" But it seemed so much heavier than I remembered it. And then I realized why?

BECAUSE the Phillies are actually good now! All of a sudden, everyone wants a piece of them. It was in the air went I went home. I could smell the Phillies on people's breath. If the Phillies won that day, everyone was happy and talking about it. If the Phillies lost, everyone was depressed and talking about it. Either way, the Phillies were on everyone's mind.

And in some ways, this seemed to be a good thing. It seems to be a common unifier amongst people. People can have nothing in common, but you mention the Phillies, and they're talking like they were college roomates for 4 years.

When I came back to Korea, I was reflecting on my time back in the States, and I thought about how strange the Phillies environment was to me. Immediately I was reminded of Marshal McLuhan. His famous quote goes,

“We don't know who discovered water, but we know it wasn't the fish.”

People can't see their own blindspots in their own culture. Fish don't realize water, because they're swimming in it. In the same way, people don't realize things that are obvious to outsiders, because they are neck-deep in them. It's how they live. It's the air they breathe. And sports seemed to me to be the most relevant, eye-catching example of this in America today.

Now, what water am I referring to here? Well, let me take a moment and refer you to a Mark Driscoll video clip. Please watch it now, and then continue reading my blog. It's only 2 minutes longs, so please, please watch it now.

Driscoll said, "Your god is your sportsteams, and you build multi-million dollar stadiums to house them."

Now I am no foreigner to idolatry. Media, attention, approval, recreation, things like these are constant sources of idolatry in my life. It just so happens that sports was never one of those idols for me, so maybe it's a cheepshot for me to point this one out, but that's the penalty for the Phillies making it this far I guess^_^.

Now before you start defending yourself, which I'm sure you could do well, and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I would just ask you to take a moment, and think about all of the time this past week you've thought, talked about, researched, or watched the Phillies. How much has it dominated your conversations with friends, co-workers, church members? How evenly balanced have your affections for the Phillies been with your affections for God?

Just in the clip I posted a couple blogs ago, the title was "Test Yourself: Christ or Football?" Do you love the Phillies more than you love Christ? Now this may seem like a patronizing question to some, and I'm sorry if it is, but for me it's earth-shattering and extremely heart-wrenching. I think about all of the time I spent "worshiping" movies. All of the time I spent adoring movies and trying to push other people's affections towards movies. I think about all of the money I gave to movies. All of the time and energy and thought I gave to them. It's shameful for me. It's humbling. It made me completely re-evaluate everything now to the point where I've had to almost completely divorce myself from movies for a while so that I may get my affections straight.

In the same way, you need to ask yourself the tough questions. Because your life will be laid bare when you do. You'll be left with nothing but a plea for the grace of Christ to cover all of your sins. Any shred of self-sufficiency you had will be gone! Any sense of merit before God will be blown away.

I want you to picture a world where every time the word "Phillies" comes up, we replace it with "Christ." What would that look like?

What would unify us?

What would bring us joy?

Wha would bring us tears?

What would dominate our time, conversations, and affections?

CHRIST!

I think about all of the eagerness to discuss sports, and I replace that with an eagerness to share the love of Christ with one another, and the thought is almost too lofty to entertain. Do we see the idolatry in our own hearts? Or are we so saturated by it that it has become the water that we swim in?

Now once again, I don't be to rain on the parade. Continue to celebrate and watch the games. The Phillies winning can only help the city of Philadelphia I think, so in that I rejoice. But I pray that as you watch, and as you cheer, and as you rejoice or lament (depending on the outcome), that you would have Christ first and foremost in your affections, and that he would be the one dominating your thoughts, conversations, and time!

One more video to hit home and the all surpassing greatness of Christ, and the ulimate triviality of our earthly idols.

I should care more

2009-10-15T06:50:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been pretty hit with a few striking realizations that in fact, aren't very new or very difficult to realize. The first hit me when I was walking back from church one day. Every Sunday, after church, when I get back to my section of Seoul, I pass some street preachers next to a department store. I don't catch much of what they're saying, but the giant poster with Christ on it and person in flames makes it pretty clear to me what is being talked about.

Now many people I know might look down upon this style of Evangelism. Saying that it's not effective. That it's too pushy. That people don't want to hear about hell, damnation, wrath, punishment, and anger. They need to be wooed into the grace of God. So, I thought, what's the opposite of this street evangelism.

I won't mention any names, but the opposite is the "Prosperity Gospel." So, people in the past have said, "Ok, the whole fire and brimstone thing is out-dated, we need a new angle. How about selling the gospel to people. Cater to their already in-born idolatry and show them how the gospel can give them everything their idolatrous heart needs. Maybe that will bring in some church attendees."

AND THEY WERE RIGHT! The prosperity preachers bring in some of the biggest memberships in all of the world. These preachers write best-selling books, (translated and sold at record-breaking numbers in Korea as well), they're on all of the TV stations, radio stations, and everyone loves them. Even people who don't believe in God tune in to listen to them.

So I guess, they must be right. If it's working, why criticize it...right?

WRONG!

I don't recommend it, but there's this video by one preacher (I'm not mentioning names because I don't want to go down that path of bitterness), where he criticizes the street evangelist saying, "No one is stopping to listen to you." And I thought to myself, he's right. No one is stopping to listen to the street evangelists. When I pass these guys in Korea each week, I never see anyone stopping to listen. But the question is WHY?

Why are millions upon millions of people dedicated to the health, wealth, and prosperity gospel, but no one every stops to listen to the guy telling people about hell? Well, for one, it's only natural. People don't like bad news. Nobody likes facing harsh realities. It's much more appealing to go to the guys promising all of these blessings without any kind of commitment, then to go to the guy who is asking you to take up your cross daily or you're going to burn. So it's only natural for people to go the prosperity preacher.

Secondly, and much more devistatingly, people are blind to the truth. If every day, you wave a 100 dollar bill in front of a blind man, it doesn't matter how clear it may seem to you, he's not going to reach out and grab it. In the same way, no matter how clear the message of the gospel may be spoken in the streets, apart from the Holy Spirit, people will never stop to listen. Then why are so many blind people going to these prosperity preachers? If they're blind to truth, why would they go? Because the prosperity gospel is not the gospel. I've already shown you that Piper clip on the prosperity gospel I think twice now, but here's the link one more time for anyone who's interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s

So anyway, I went on a big tangent, but the point was, about how I felt about those street preachers. I think most Christians wouldn't identify themselves with those people. Saying, those guys seem a little strange to me. But the more I think about it, they seem to me to be the only sane kind of Christian there is!!

If you, as a Christian, know that apart from saving faith in Jesus Christ, a person will go to hell, FOREVER, why wouldn't you be telling people about it daily. I mean, these street preachers seem so similar to the early church. Look at Acts 3:11-26, Acts 2, Acts 5:25, Acts 6:8, the entire ministry of Paul. They seem a lot like street preachers to me. I mean, if you know that Christ is coming back, in glory, and that everyone not saved will ask for the rocks to hide them from the wrath of the Lamb (Revelation 6:15-17), if you look at Luke 16's account of the rich man who goes to hell and then begs to have Lazarus dip just the tip of his finger in water to cool is tongue, if you really believe this to be true, how can we coast through life? How can we?

I don't know what it is? Perhaps it's that we truly don't believe in hell. Or perhaps it's that we have so trained ourselves to run from anguish, that when a "Holy Anguish", that comes prompted by the Holy Spirit, fills our hearts and minds with anguish for the souls of the lost, we just run from it. I'm not sure why I'm so passive towards making disciples. I'm not sure why I'm so scared of making social situations awkward by bringing up Christ amongst non-Christians. I'm not sure why I feel like street evangelism would be the hardest thing in the WORLD for me to do.

And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that street evangelism is always the best way, or that it's even a good way to do evangelism. I'm still wrestling through that in my mind. I realize that there's a time and a place, and that the best evangelism happens through relationships, not yelling at who are passing by, degrading them and calling them sinners. I understand the rejections very well. But my point is that we keep sitting in the judgment seat of these street preachers, saying how primitive they are, while we have no room at all to judge, because at least they care enough to give it a shot. Who are we to judge on a particular method, when we don't even make an effort to evangelize using any method.

And I just can't escape this desire in my heart to scream to my soul, "WAKE UP! SEE THE REALITY OF ETERNITY! MANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO HELL! DON'T I CARE?"
I used to be so burdened by this that I fell into deep disillusionment with the idea of God's love, which I have already talked at length about in my blog post on predestination. But now, instead of questioning God when I see the harsh reality of eternity, I now question myself. I question my inactiveness. My passivity. My apathy towards the lost. If your friend had cancer, and you had the cure, wouldn't you want to give it to him?

I heard a really powerful sermon on this by Francis Chan, and he gave the story of this pro basketball player who was a Christian. And he said he kept having this recurring nightmare where he saw many of his teammates going to hell. And his teammates were looking back at him, with their hands in the air, looking at him and saying, "Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that you knew I was going here, and you never tried to save me from this? You never tried to warn me?"

I don't know...I don't know...I don't know how anyone can coast, or put life in an entertainment mindset when people are perishing right and left. You have to become literally insane to become like that. How was I so insane for so many years? Oh how far God has to go with me. Oh the depths of my own heart. Oh how merciful God is to me not to show me how deep the sin in my life really is. Oh how selfish I am, to think that a Friday night watching a movie is time better spent, than on reaching out to someone going towards the flames.

The Christian life, can NEVER become lazy. Once it does, you've lost touch with reality.

I'll end with a video from an ATHEIST. Just watch, you'll see why I put it up here.

The Sponge...

2009-10-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

I recently heard a very interesting, tough, difficult, and yet more glorious aspect concerning the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Recently Pastor Mark Driscoll went to Israel to prepare for a 3 year sermon series on the book of Luke. He went to many of the major areas in Israel where Jesus was, and he took a film crew with them to capture these areas on film. He said he learned something new and incredibly insightful about Jesus on his trip.

At one point, in their journey, they went to an ancient restroom. In there, there were no stalls, it was basically just a room for people to go. As most people probably guessed, they didn't have toilet paper back then. So they usually used water to clean themselves after using the bathroom. But something else they also did was use a sponge to wipe off afterwards. But unfortunately, once hundreds of people starting using the same sponge, some people in turn got infections. So in order to disinfect the sponges, they would soak them in vinegar and sour wine. Does this sound familiar at all?

John 19:28-30 - "Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."

Could it be that this sponge was the same sponge filled with the filth and dirt of hundreds of people's waste? It's discusting to think about, I know. But what part of the crucifixion isn't? Seemingly, in the gospels, this gesture seems to be an act of kindness on the part of the guards, but perhaps not. I don't know about the certainty of whether or not this sponge was meant for that purpose, but what if it was. That the last thing Jesus tasted was that bathroom sponge. And yet, in the midst of them shoving that into his mouth, he said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." And then right afterwards, to say, "It is finished." That the work of salvation and forgiveness had been completed in that moment.

And then I thought about my own life. How often do I shove the sponge into Jesus' mouth? How often do I mockingly reject him with my sinful ways. And yet, in such great love and mercy, he forgives me, he loves me, and he sacrifices himself for me.

Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God would die for me!

Our response to His Love

2009-09-27T01:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been listening to many sermons that seem to have similar messages. Recently I've been reading passages that have similar themes. Recently, I've been convicted more and more about my own sin, and more and more captivated by God's love. Recently, I've felt this grave need to share with those around me, the danger of coasting through the Christian life. The danger of not perservering.

I read chapters like Revelation 3:15-17 - "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, "I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."

Matthew 19:24 -"...it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Hebrews 6:4-6 - "It is impossible for those who have once become enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace."

Matthew 7:13-14 - "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

John 5:44 - "How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?"

2 Corinthians 5:10 - For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Matthew 16:27 - "The Son of Man is going to come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and will then recompense every person according to his deeds."

Revelation 22:12 - "Behold, I am coming quickly, and my reward is with me, to render to every person according to what he has done"

Romans 6:1-2 - "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"

Philippians 2:12-13 - "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence -- continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

James 2:26 - "Faith without works is dead."

Galatians 5:19-21 - "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

James 4:4 - "You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."

John 5:29 - "An hour is coming, in which all who are in the tombs shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; those who did the good deeds to a resurrection of life, those who committed the evil deeds to a resurrection of judgment."

Matthew 7:21-23 - "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"

This is just the tip of the iceberg where in the Bible, we see stern, strong warnings to people over and over again about the dangers of sin, the calls to repentance, and the reality of the fact that many people who profess faith are in fact not true believers.

This issue really hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard a sermon by Matt Chandler about 5 months ago. I can't remember the passage he was preaching on, but he went off on a little sidenote, and began to describe some "red flags" to watch out for. He said that if you say "yes" to these things, these are red flags that might prove that you aren't truly saved. He didn't say they were certainties, but warnings and causes to evaluate your life. Immediately, when I heard this, I got very worried. What if he says something that applies to me? Well, it'll probably be towards nominal Christians, and that's certainly not me...The first red flag: "Is there habitual sin in your life?" Crash!! Floored by the first point. Now by nature I think I have an addictive personality, and I've come to realize that and have since tried to develop practical ways to fight against that, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I do have sins in my life that seem to be constant struggles, and I very rarely win. Now Chandler was quick to distinguish habitual sin, from a struggle. I do believe that I did have a struggle, not just giving in, but to be honest, my struggle was pretty weak.

Well, needless to say, this sermon stuck in my head for a long time. It really shook me. I started re-evaluating everything. I started looking at how comfortable I had become with my sinful life. How normal it felt to me. After all, no one's perfect. And we're not saved by works, but by faith, so to worry too much about my sin would be disbelieving in the mercy and grace of God...so I thought...but after that sermon, I've been bombarded time and time again by pastors and passages that make it very clear that your life proves your commitment to Christ. I started looking at what Paul says in Romans 6:2 "We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Am I really dead to sin? Am I really living the life that the scriptures say a Christian will live?

And I had to come to a very harsh reality. If I continue to live the way I was living, I'm proving that my faith is dead, and not true. I'm proving that it has no effect on me. Now once again, this doesn't mean that I am trusting in myself to get right before God. I'm not saying that at all. There are I'm sure many times more verses that speak of the imputed righteousness of God to us than there are the verses I mentioned in the beginning. But I had to come to grips with the reality of my salvation. If I am truly saved, what does it look like?

Well first of all, I must acknowledge God in everything. That like Philippians 2:12-13, and 1 Corinthians 15:10 says, any good thing I do, any love for God that I have, any denial of sin and praise of Christ, comes solely through the grace of God who is at work in me. So right away, I am dismantling the idea that I can somehow attain a righteousness by works. Because any of my righteous acts come from God through faith in Christ. Anyone who would claim to be able to satisfy God's righteous wrath with their works needs only to be turned to Isaiah 64:6, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags..." So nothing in and of myself can earn me any merrit with God. We are saved by faith, not works.

But if that's the case, then where do works fit in? Why does James say that faith without works is dead. Why does Jesus say that those who did good deeds will arise to the ressurection of life, and those with bad deeds to a ressurection of judgement. In Romans 2:6 says, "God "will give to each person according to what he has done." Why, if we are justified by faith, does the Bible place so much emphasis on what we do?

The key to understanding this is realizing the correct order. Faith plus works does not equal salvation. Rather, faith produces good works. In a sense, our deeds are our proof of our faith and salvation. You can't have true saving faith without any fruit. A tree that does not bear any fruit is a dead tree. Piper describes is best this way by saying that the assurance of the genuiness of our faith is our perserverence to the end. That's why Hebrews 6 isn't saying that people can lose their salvation, but rather, if they fall away, they are proving that they were never really saved in the first place.

Now passages like Romans 2:6, John 5:29, and 2 Corinthians 5:10 present fairly untapped reservoirs of truth in my life, that I think some people might find offensive upon first glance. When it comes to the last judgement, the Bible I think is very clear that EVERYONE will be judged. Paul says WE must appear before the judgement seat in 2 Corinthians 5:10. Not just the unbelievers, but all people. Some people seem to think that God will just skip over the Christians, since they are declared righteous by Christ's atonement. But these passages seem to indicate something different. All of these passages mention our "deeds." They mention our works as the criteria for which we will be judged. That doesn't seem right does it? That doesn't sound like the message we're used to. So what does it mean then?

Please just read this excerpt from Piper's sermon. He explains it much better than I can.

That leads us to the second purpose of the judgment. The first, was that the judgment makes a public demonstration of the varying degrees of reward that Christians receive for the exercise of their faith in obedience. The second purpose of the judgment is to declare openly the reality of the faith and the salvation of God's people by the evidence of their deeds. Salvation is owned by faith. Salvation is shown by deeds. So when Paul says (in v. 10) we "will be recompensed . . . according to what we have done," he not only means that our rewards will accord with our deeds, but also our salvation will accord with our deeds.

Why do I think this?

Romans 2:5-7

There are numerous texts that point in this direction. One is in Paul's letter to the Romans (2:5-7) where he refers to "The revelation of the righteous judgment of God," and then says (in vv. 6-8), "[God] will render to every man according to his deeds: to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality [he will render] eternal life; but to those who . . . do not obey the truth . . . [he will render] wrath and indignation." In other words, just as our text says, the judgment is "according to what a person has done." But here the issue is eternal life versus wrath.

"Faith Without Works Is Dead"

Several times Paul listed certain kinds of deeds and said, "those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:21; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). In other words when these deeds are exposed at the judgment as a person's way of life, they will be the evidence that their faith is dead and they will not be saved. As James said in James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead." That is what will be shown at the judgment.

Jesus' Words

Jesus put it like this—and he used exactly the same words for good and evil deeds that we have here in 2 Corinthians 5:10. He said (in John 5:29), "An hour is coming, in which all who are in the tombs shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; those who did the good deeds to a resurrection of life, those who committed the evil deeds to a resurrection of judgment." In other words the way one lived will be the evidence whether one passes through judgment to life or whether one experiences judgment as condemnation.
He says this even though five verses earlier in John 5:24 he said, "Truly, truly I say to you, he who hears my word and believes has eternal life." To hear and to believe is to have eternal life—it is by grace through faith. But when that faith is real—not dead—the life will change and Jesus can say, with no contradiction: the deeds of this life will be the public criteria of judgment in the resurrection. Because our works are the evidence of the reality of our faith. And it is faith in Christ that saves.

Back to me now. So as you see, "our works are the evidence of the reality of our faith. And it is faith in Christ that saves." So this is what I have been wrestling with over the past 5 months. Is my faith real? Does my life show it? And by the grace of God I can say that he has comforted me in this issue, and given me assurance. And by the grace of God I have come to realize that we MUST fight sin and make war against it, because eternal life DEPENDS ON IT!!! If I stop fighting, I'm proving my faith was never real. I've gotta run the race with endurance and perservere to the end, because if I wimp out half way through, it's like I never started to begin with. I gotta throw off every sin and encumberance that would keep me from running, because this is all that matters. I've gotta get MORE SERIOUS about my life. And by the grace of God I have gotten more serious. If you've been reading my blog hopefully you're aware of that. I just needed to say, "If Christ truly is living in me, and I truly have been made a new creation, and I am dead to sin and alive in Christ, that will make a difference, that MUST make a difference." I've gotta work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I've gotta.

Now lest you think that this has become me white-knuckling my fight against sin, just saying, "I'm not gonna sin, I'm not gonna sin!" Think again. This is not a fight I wage alone. No, I wage is with many weapons. I put on the full armor of God, and I wage it with God by my side. We can not say to ourselves, "I've gotta get this sin issue under control before I can come to God." No! God is saying, "Let's work together. Remember, I'm working in you to will and to act. Come to me and drink deep from the fountain of life."

Most importantly, I can't fight sin, unless I fight it in Christ, and here's what I mean by that:

"THE FIGHT AGAINST SIN IS A FIGHT FOR JOY IN CHRIST!"

God doesn't want begrudging obedience. Piper gave a great illustration of making his son wash his car before he could drive it. His son was furious at him, but did it anyway. Do you think Piper was happy with his son's obedience? Of course not, because it wasn't done in love. In the same way, God doesn't want our obedience to come from a place that isn't ultimately satisfied in Christ alone. David in Psalm 51 says "Restore unto me the joy of my salvation." Why? Because when that joy fades, he falls into sin. The more and more you become satisfied with Christ, the more and more repugnant sin becomes to you. And that's what I've realized. And so, I want Christ always. I need him always. I want to be completely satisfied in him alone, and if anything comes in my path that would lead me away from him, it's gotta go! There is nothing neutral in this life. As Chandler said, it's not an idea of right and wrong when it comes to what we can do. It's a matter of , "DOES THIS HELP ME RUN?" Does this draw me closer to Christ. If not, it's gotta go, because Christ is all that matters to me.

There's so much more I want to say. But I'll end with this. If I have become this aware of the danger of sin, the danger of being a lukewarm Christian, which Jesus is going to spit out, which means that a lukewarm Christian is really a lukewarm non-Christian, are others aware of this? Are others aware of the serious nature of our life, and how a fight against sin is a fight to preserve our lives! This isn't merely just so we can get a few more rewards in Heaven. This is about acceptance into Heaven! Now I don't deny that God will give more to those who have been more faithful, as the parable of the talents shows us, but that parable also shows us the danger of doing nothing with his gifts. As Matthew 25:30 says, "And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Does that sound like he was accepted into Heaven? It doesn't to me. And I'm afraid that so many people who confess Christ with their lips but deny with him their actions are in for a very terrible wake-up call on the judgement day. And as others have said, it's not like people want to go to Hell or are even perhaps aware of the fact that their faith is dead. People don't go to church every week because they think they're not really believers. And yet, many aren't. This is scary stuff. And as Piper says, he wouldn't be loving his church if he didn't show people that some of them were going to Hell. People hate to have their assurance threatened, but many many of us need that. Desperately. I know I did. I am so grateful to these men who have challenged me to see if my faith is really true. And by God's grace it is. But I needed that test to show me that it is. And if I slump back into laziness, I need another good slap in the face to say, "MARK!! Don't realize that this is going to lead you to Hell!!" Piper said that he counseled some guy who was in adultery and was unrepentant about it and had no plan to stop, and that's exactly what he told the guy. And the guy said, but I accepted Christ, so all my sins are forgiven. But he's showing that he never really accepted Christ to begin with.

And I'm afraid that way too many people are trusting in some prayer they prayed 10, 20, or 30 years ago, but that now, their lives show no evidence of it's effects. So recently, I've been trying to encourage my friends to be serious about pursuing Holiness. Serious about actively engaging with God everyday. Salvation is a relationship with God. How can you say you have salvation if you're never with God in prayer and the Bible? You can't. And yet so many people do. Oh how I weep for those who are headed to the place where God will say, "I never knew you." I feel this sense of urgency now. A similar urgency for those who have never heard of Christ. I feel the same urgency for those who grew up with Christ, and yet have never made it real.

One more thing that scares me is the lack of affection for Christ in most Christians. So often, I just want someone to share my affection for Christ, and I try to bring it up with people, and I just feel like so many are not getting me. Shouldn't it be that when one Christian is totally fired up about the things of God, the other Christian should resound with an Amen? Am I wrong on this? Am I expecting too much from people to want to engage on that level with me? And I'm not saying everyone doesn't, or that they should at all times. There are many factors to why sometimes they may not, but if they never do, that's definitely saying something about their heart. Now I am not saying that everyone I talk to is this way. In fact, I have so many Christian friends who encourage me in my faith and we are friends mainly because of our united heart for Christ. And I owe so much of my faith and life in Christ to the ministry of so many Christian friends in my life. They have helped my sanctification so much, and I would not be where I am today, unless I had an amazing group of Christians around me building me up. For those of you who have been my close brother and sister in Christ, your friendship is worth more to me than you can ever imagine, and I will praise God for eternity for bringing you guys into my life.

Now there once again is much more I want to say, but I've already written way too much as it is. I haven't even begun to talk about how community plays into this, and how much I've been pressed recently to realize the essential nature of community in the Christian walk. But anyway yeah, those are a few of my thoughts, and I hope that if you are in Christ, that you would take seriously the fight of faith, and to make your election sure (2 Peter 1:10)and encourage your brothers and sisters to do the same!

Here's a Piper clip about the heart of a Christian, and how our hearts should be oriented towards Christ if we truly are in Christ! Our affection should ultimately be for Christ.

Philippians 4:10-13 One of the best passages for me!

2009-09-16T07:41:00.000-07:00

Philippians 4:10-13
10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

The book of Philippians is my favorite book of the Bible. It fills me with so much hope. And that hope produces joy. And that joy gives me the faith to be totally free in Christ. Paul's character in Philippians is just so attractive, and I just want to strive to feel the way he feels in this book. I want to know Christ the way he knows Christ in this book. I want to have the joy he has. I want to have the humble confidence that he has. And right here I think is one of the best examples of Paul's character in the book.

Can I get an Amen that Paul is just the man here in these verses. It's like the world is secondary to him. It's not even a player in his life. He's in some other place spiritually that allows him to live more freely that I can even imagine. Now remember that Paul was in prison as he wrote this book. And yet in verse 11 he says, "I am not saying this because I am in need..." YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE IN PRISON! When was the last time someone went to a prison visit, and asked if they could help in any way, and the person was like, "no, I'm cool." Now I don't think Paul was oblivious or in denial. Logically, he knew that there were things that could be done to better his situation, and yet somehow he could live in a place in his heart where he could honestly say that he was not in need. Right now, I am in need every day! How far I am from the mind of Paul.

So why isn't he in need? How is it that he has somehow escaped his circumstances? Well, he says that he has "learned to be content whatever the circumstances." This concept is life-giving for me, and I want this to mark my life, and I think it should mark the life of any strong Christian. There should be a "godly-contentment" in Christ that is not conditioned on outward circumstances. That if Christ is the source of all life and all satisfaction in your life, and he will never dry up, then the contentment will never end. Though the waves crash around your life, your boat is safe. Your base is secure. Now on the surface this may seem like denial, and honestly, I don't know how this would look in many circumstances. I haven't experienced too many terrible trials such as death, persecution, poverty, and the like. But I don't think we're meant to know how it would look. I don't think Paul did. I don't think Paul thought to himself, "If I go to prison, this is how I will handle it." No, he just lived his life, and he dealt with things as they came. That's why he says he "learned" to be content. Contentment isn't something we can plan for, it's something that is painfully learned through years of walking with Christ. I can't predict the hardships that will come my way, and I think it's kind of pointless to try and prepare my heart for every single possible scenario. Instead, you live out this contentedness today! What does it look like to be content in Christ today? What does it look like tomorrow? How can I be more content in Christ today than I was yesterday? And through years and decades of this daily learning process, you build up to a contentment with Christ, so that when you are put in prison for the sake of the gospel, you can say with Paul that you have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

I'll tell you why for me, this concept and way of life is so freeing for me. It frees me from the responsibility to be "somebody." It frees me from the world's demand that I do things "their" way. That I find contentment in "their" outlets. I'll tell you, when you look at what the world is offering, it only leads to discontentment.

Let's look at my life outlook at this point. No future job prospects. No woman in my life. No car. No house. No this ... no that... There's a lot of things that the world has to offer, that I don't have!!! How disappointing. How discontent I should be. Right? Unfortunately many days, this is true. I fall into the snair that I need to be "somebody." I need to find the perfect wife. I need to have the most respectful job. I need to be liked and recognized by the most people. I need to be the most super Christian out there. These are things that do plague my thoughts, but they shouldn't. Who cares???????? I know other people don't care about those things for me. I know God isn't worried about me? So why should I be?

And thus, the freedom roles in. I can honestly say that in the past month, I feel that I have gotten a taste of this passage. I feel this bubble of protection around me, and that is God filling my life with his comfort and contentment. Even though life is tough, and even though I don't have all the things the world is offering me, I can honestly say I feel glimpses of this contentment that Paul speaks of. That my life is all about Christ. It's not about me. It's not about my fame or my glory. It's all about Christ's fame and his glory. I will make myself lower in order to make him higher. And to honestly desire that...that's a gift from God. But I can taste it. Really I can. I can taste this desire to make him the center, and make me an agent of glory reflection. So it doesn't matter what happens. So I can confidently say that I can "do everything through him who gives me strength." I can live for Christ, I can die for Christ. I can prosper for Christ, I can suffer for Christ. I can starve for Christ. I can be betrayed for Christ. I can love for Christ. No matter what, good or bad, sick or healthy, rich or poor, happy or sad, I live not for myself, but for the glory of Christ, and if you really take time to think about that, IT'S SO FREEING AND EMPOWERING! Take the weight off yourself, and put it on Christ. His yoke is easy. Giving your life to Christ, and really letting him take the wheel and drive for many might seem like such a sacrifice, but for me, I can't think of a better, more hopeful way to live. Now I don't deny or don't pretend to be oblivious to the real trials that Christians are called to face, but once again, it is God who is working in me, to will and to work all things for his good pleasure!

I heard John Piper talk about this passage. And he said he would ask his seminary students what they can do through Christ who strengthens them. They said the usual "good things." Then Piper said, "what about starve through him who gives me strength." All the students said, "no, no, that's not what it's talking about." But that's exactly the context of the passage. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." How often have we heard this passage presented that way? Usually it's so fakely presented, and I think we all realize it. "I can fly to the moon through him who strengthens me!" "I can become the star basketball player through him who strengthens me." I mean you can just tell how much it's taken out of context when the passage is presented that way. But if we present it the way Paul is presenting it, then it's got some meat to it. I can "die" through him who strengthens me. That'll put some hair on your chest if you can believe that. It'll open up worlds of freedom for you to. That no matter what the circumstances, I can remain content in Christ who strengthens me. That I can press on and perservere through Christ who strengthens me. I don't know how else to live, than through the promises of God in passages like this. How else can you press on when life "happens." There's just too many bad things that happens to everyone for us to be naive enough to think that they won't happen to us as well. So we gotta have our foundation in something that is unchanging. We gotta have our faith in the one who says in Hebrews 13:5:
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."

God's sovereignty

2009-09-08T06:52:00.000-07:00

It's funny how the word sovereignty has almost become a curse word in certain circles depending on who you talk to. How is it that an attribute of God would bring about such disdain and difficult feelings in the hearts of so many people. Why is it that "Calvinism" feels almost as naughty of a word among Christians, as the word "Christian" does among the world. Why do I feel increasingly isolated by what I see to be the only way to view the Bible accurately.

Now, with all of that said, I must say that I have had my own struggles with the sovereignty of God, just as the biggest supporters of it did, such as John Edwards. In fact, for literally 2 years, I became what felt like an insane Christian. I literally lost everything I felt like I knew about God. I remember it so vividly. I had just come home from literally one of the most amazing, goldy experiences of my life. I was talking to one of my Christian brothers, and it was one of those conversations where you knew that God was a third person in the conversation. It was like he was speaking through us. The Holy Spirit was present in that conversation in a way like never before in my life. I was saying things that caught me off guard, and my friend as well. As I drove home that night, I praised God thanking him for all the blessings he gave me. And all of a sudden, it hit me. "Why me?" "Why did God choose me and not any other Joe out there as undeserving as me?" And literally, on that night, I felt like I lost my perception of God. From that point on God seemed unfair to me.

I went on for two years in college in red hot pursuit of answers. I talked to pastors, mentors, parents, friends, anyone I could to get some clarity on the topic. I read every verse supporting both sides. I read books. I read sermons. I listened to sermons. I did everything I could think of. I laid in bed on many nights, unable to sleep, wanting to scream, pleading with God to give me peace about the situation. I just wanted to see God in the right way. For me, I just couldn't see him as loving anymore in his exclusiveness. For 2 years I went to church and felt foreign there. I felt like I was missing something that everyone else was experiencing.

But the reason I just didn't turn "Arminian" as it were, was because I couldn't escape what the Bible said. What the Bible says pretty much everywhere. I mean, most people will point to Romans 9 and use that as their baseboard (and a good one it is) as their argument, but when I look at the Bible, it's in the very nature, the air of the Bible. The Bible oozes the sovereignty of God. From the very beginning, God sovereignly at work in everything. He hardens Pharoh's heart, again and again and again. What others meant for evil towards Joseph, GOD meant for good. He is clearly sovereign over the entire story of Job, and when Job questions God's motives and sovereignty, God lectures him for 3 chapters saying, "Where were you...? Who are you...?" In John 3:8, Jesus says referring to the Holy Spirit, "The wind blows wherever it pleases." And of course, Romans 9, which I will leave to you to read and see for yourself how plain things are. Just the entire feel of the Bible attributes EVERYTHING, good or bad, to the sovereign ordaining of God. Even the very presence of sin itself is because God ordained it. Everything that lead up to the cross is because God willed it. If God didn't ordain each sin involved in the crucifixion of Jesus, we wouldn't have the gospel, because it would no longer be God punishing his son for our sins. It would merely be coincidence that he died, not by the hand of God. If you want, now would be a good time to go to the bottom to watch the Piper clip on this, it's really really powerful.

With all of that said, in my 2 years of turmoil over this issue, I couldn't escape the truth of God's sovereignty, and the fact that the Bible has no qualms about it. It doesn't try to apologize for God's sovereignty, it just excepts it. And no one in the Bible complains about it either. Job says, "Shall I accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job's saying, it's all from God. The good and the bad. And he accepts it.

So for 2 years I labored, but I never gave up, because I knew that God was doing this for a reason, and I knew he would lead me out of the pit eventually. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, it was just very dim. But I trusted that if this was true, and if I was a true Christian, that eventually God would reconcile my heart to this issue. And honestly, I don't know how, or when it happened. But I can say that after 2 years, I have come from fearing this doctrine, to embracing and loving it with my very essence. Now this doesn't mean that I have forgotten the qualms I had against it, but I now know why I had those qualms, and I know how to argue against them if they arise in my soul.

First, I was desperately helped by a Mark Driscoll sermon in a series on "Religion Saves: and Nine other misconceptions." He published a book based on that series by the same title. He described everything so well. He described our sin, our responsibility, God's will and his intervention in such a good, simple, easy to understand way. And it just reaffirmed so much for me, and from then on, it's been a healing process for me.

From there, I went on to hear a sermon by John MacArthur about the existence of Sin in the world, and God's hand in that. And after that sermon, I knew it was either all the way embracing of this doctrine, or I have to get out of Christianity all-together. It's either embrace the God that these men are showing me in the Bible, or go athiest. And so I embraced this God, and WORLDS of truth, grace, and comfort have opened up to me.

Here is I think, the biggest problem and obstacle I had to accepting this biblical view of God. First and formost is that I was sitting in the judgment seat, and I was judging God. We all do this. We see something and we blame God for it. We see something, and we accuse God of doing wrong. This is straight up blasphemy, but it's all too common. We are basically accusing a Holy God of sinning. But that's what I was doing. And as John Piper has pointed out, he thinks one of the main reasons that God has allowed us to know about God's sovereignty is so that we would get out of the judgment seat and let God take his rightful place as judge. I mean think about it. God didn't have to let us know he's in control. He could have kept that hidden. And then in the end reveal that it was him all along. But he chose to reveal that aspect of his nature to us. Why? Well for one reason, so that we would learn to trust completely in his revealed nature, and stop questioning him. That like Job, we would be quiet, and repentantly say, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

And another reason why God chose to reveal this to us, is because if we embrace this, we embrace a centrally God-focused view of the world. If God is in complete control of the world, you have to have a God centered view of everything. Anything else begins to slip into deism in one form or another. The reason an Arminian will be so difficult to win over to "Calvinism" as it were (which I believe is just another word for saying, "seeing the Bible correctly") is because it requires a change of their lense that they see the world through. It is the biggest worldview shift you can make as a Christian. You go from an individualistic culture like America, where it's all about me me me, and you say, it's not about me AT ALL. It's all about Christ. The very reason I'm alive is to glorify Christ. And I will either glorify God in my accepting Christ and glorifying his mercy, or I will glorify Christ in God's righteous justice and judgment of sin being served. But either way, every single person on the earth was born to glorify God, and every single person, whether they like it or not, will glorify God. Pharoh did. Pilote did. God even said countless times, "I'm hardening Pharoh's heart for my glory." Pharoh sinned, and God was glorified in his judgment of Pharoh's sin. If that's not a worldview shift, I don't know what is.

So with that said, I am trying at least, to be gracious to those who might not like this doctrine of grace at first glance. Looking at my own history, it took me two years to settle the matter with any kind of peace. Then thinking about the actual weight of what it means to accept these truths is another big issue. As John Piper says, we've gotta take our eyes, and soak them in some gospel acid for us to see the world correctly.

And this is really the other big thing. With guys like Piper, Driscoll, Chandler, Mahaney, Mason, MacArthur, Spurgeon, Edwards, Lewis, Calvin, and many others, I just gotta be on this team. And this team is totally all about the sovereignty of God. They breath it in their sermons. They live by it. It's Piper's main mission in life. To spread a passion for the glory of God!!!!! You can't spread a passion for the glory of God without worshiping him for his sovereignty. You can't worship a God you can't rely on. You can't worship a God you can't say works ALL THINGS FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM. That means the good the bad, and the ugly, it all worked, by God, sovereignly, for our good. And upon embracing this doctrine, wave after wave after wave of comfort, enligtenment, strength, worship, and Christ-centered satisfaction have fallen upon my life. I live by this doctrine. I love this doctrine of grace. I live each day affirming it. Knowing that nothing I bring to the table gets me anywhere. The very faith in which I possess, is a gift given to me, by God.

Now I am not saying that if you don't embrace this, that you're not a Christian. I know many Christians that argue very strongly with me. But I would say that I think they are missing a huge piece to who God is, and that their lives would be totally, radically changed if they could embrace this.

With that said, here is one of just literally 1000s of amazing sermons that I've heard that affirm this truth, and make me love it all the more. It's only two minutes long, but you see Piper's passion for God's sovereignty, and it echoes the growing passion that has been welling up in me!

CJ Mahaney is a wellspring of powerful messages

2009-09-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

I've heard a lot about CJ Mahaney, and have listened to brief excerpts by him. But recently I decided to get a couple of his sermons and listen to them, and I really appreciate all that I've heard him say. He says things in a way that you know he's convicted about them, but at the same time, in a huge way, he says everything in love. Everything he says you feel like he's telling you because he loves you and wants to see you grow.

A couple things he said that really stuck out to me were actually quotes from Spurgeon, so perhaps this should be more about Spurgeon than Mahaney, but they were merely illustrations that proved his point. None-the-less, these quotes were what stuck out to me most in his messages. The first message I listened to was on how to "Preserve Pastors." And mentioned how Spurgeon said at one point "Whitefield and Wesley might preach the gospel better than I can, but they cannot preach a better gospel!" This is so humbling and so comforting. That while yes there are people more gifted at preaching, speaking, persuading, and talking, the power of the gospel does not depend on their talent. It is powerful enough as is. So that no matter how bumbling my speech may be, no matter how boring I may present the gospel to someone, if I am faithful in proclaiming the truth, the Holy Spirit will work! This gives me hope as I seek to use my words to help others see Christ.

In another sermon I heard on not conforming to worldliness, Mahaney was saying how this generation of Christians in America doesn't face persecution from the world, but seduction. And he quoted Spurgeon again. Now remember that Spurgeon was writing in the 19th century, in a time that can not be compared in it's scope the amount of pressure worldliness has on our lives today. But Spurgeon, even at that time said something along the lines of "the church is so ineffective at influencing the world because it is being too influenced by the world." Piper has said similar things about being "IN" the world, but not "OF" the world. Piper makes it clear that this lifestyle is walking a razor's edge. That to cut yourself off from the world, you fall off one side, and to embrace the sin of the world, you fall off the other. And he says, most Christians struggle to walk that edge. He said a good way to test yourself is exactly what Spurgeon said. Are the people you are seeking to influence being more influenced by you, or are you being more influenced by them. Sadly in my life, I fear that I have been too easily seduced by the world. By things that are contrary to God. Piper says in another place that he feels that the next generation (my generation) of Christians is amazingly well-studied and theologically sound. There is a zeal for doctrine that has been absent in previous generations. But along with that, there is a lack of discernment when it comes to the open-handed embracing that our generation has had with the world. We just love soaking in it's sin. Piper calls it "dangling wires" that this generation has. That we love the Word and theology, but alongside of that, we love the world. For me, I see historically this being an all too accurate assessment in my life, and something that has taken years of reflection and distance from God to realize how dangerous the effects of bedding down with the world really are.

Mahaney went on to talk about another man who wrote a book about an experience this man had with an Amish person. With many interesting and at times humorous moments, he sought to show how completely out of place this Amish man was with the culture. And Mahaney was saying that this is exactly how the world should see Christians. Now not saying that we should adopt the Amish lifestyle or theology, but in the sense that we are so counter-cultural and so firm in our beliefs and so concerned about holiness, that we just walk to the beat of a different drum, and we look different. This also doesn't mean that we should be ignorant of culture either. But in our lives, we need to ask ourselves, how different do we look from our neighbors, apart from Sunday morning? Or have we been seduced by the same sinful temptations that capture the hearts of every other man? This is my battle. This is my burden.

Lastly, Mahaney gave an amazing sermon on the "Cup of Christ." This is something I have come back to thinking about countless times over the past years, and it becomes more and more staggering and real to me each time I revisit the scene, particularly at Gethsemene. Mahaney in this clip, which has had music and visual images added to it, gives a powerful depiction of what Christ went through in preparation for going to the cross. I also heard an amazing sermon on prayer by Driscoll, where he dives into the prayer of Jesus before the cross. This is, the garden that is in the context of what follows it on the cross, for me perhaps, the most gripping, heart-wrenching display of Jesus' love for us in the Bible.

Spiritual Gifts, the ultimate Re-gift

2009-08-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about Spiritual gifts recently, mainly because my pastor here in Korea has been doing a lot of sermons that have challenging me to think more carefully about the role spiritual gifts should play in our lives as Christians. I grew surrounded by the view of cessasionism(I think that's spelled correctly) saying that the spiritual gifts of healing and tongues have ceased after the apostolic age. I don't have the time, or the materials gathered to write about why I've grown to start thinking differently about the situation, but that will hopefully be my next blogpost.

But breifly, I wanted to talk about something I think we can all agree on. The ideas of teaching, hospitality, empathy, organization, etc...these are all spiritual gifts that I think all Christians would agree are given today to all Christians. The question is, why are they given? I heard a great sermon by Piper tonight about Spiritual gifts, and he was talking about Romans 1:11 where Paul says,

"I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spirtual gift to make you strong--that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith."

Now Paul is not saying here that he is going to bring a gift that will become there gift. He's not going to bestow the gift of generosity upon them, instead he's going to use the gift Christ gave him to strengthen them.

A few key points that Piper hit on here were number 1, that Spiritual gifts are always meant to be shared with others, not hoarded. When they are hoarded, they are stifled. When they are used for building up another's faith and glorifying God, they are affirmed and strengthened. We are given gifts so that we may give them to others.

Secondly, Paul talks about the mutual benefit of giving and recieving gifts. Think about when you give a Christmas present to someone. Not only is the person who recieves it happy, but you are happy in giving it. In the same way, the exercising of our gifts not only encourages those who recieve it, but it strengthens our faith as well.

Lastly, the major point that stuck in my mind is the mindset of Paul here, that we should strive to have every day. The point and purpose of his using his gift, was to strengthen their faith. The question is, do we have that desire today with every person we meet? Do we have the desire in the morning to strengthen and stir up hearts towards Christ. Because the Bible is very clear that if we have the desire to magnify Christ in the building up of others, the Holy Spirit will enable us with the power to do that. But do we have that longing to begin with? Do we want to see others grow? Not that we are Pharisees that try and fix everyone, but do we earnestly take joy in seeing our brothers and sisters strengthened in their love of Christ. May that be our prayer every morning when we wake up. That God would use us in some way, today, to encourage someone to love Christ more. To be more satisfied in Jesus.

These days I must admit that my desires have been entirely too inwardly focused. Too focused on my circumstances and my woes. While the waves seem to be heavy right now, I must remember that Christ's yoke is light, and that he can sustain me even in the valley of the shadow of death. If I can ground myself in this confidence, I can free myself to think about others. I pray that he will do this for all of our lives.

On a more update note, I went to "Everland" and "Carribean Bay" this weekend with my friend Ivan and his girlfriend Haeyeok. It was really fun. We went on a rollercoaster called "T-express" and it's classified as one of the most thrilling roller coasters in the world. It was really intense. It had like a 90 degree drop and it went at top speed 124 miles per hour. I think it's the fastest coaster I've ever been on. And get this. It's wooden. It was awesome. There were also two fun parades we saw. The water park was really good too, but really crowded, so we didn't get to go on too many rides. I was reminded of my younger years at Water Country USA with my brother and cousins, when we would go down the waterslides screaming, "YEEHHHHHHHAAAWWW!!"

Every day...you gotta press on towards the goal

2009-08-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, in the midst of a difficult past week, I've been giving a lot of thought to idea of comfort, and how much I used to rail on against (anyone who reads my blog can attest to my distain of it). And yet, when the rubber meets the road, I yearn for comfort. When things get...uncomfortable, I complain. I blame others. I blame my circumstances.

All the while, Jesus is there telling me I believe two things. First of all, in my trials, he tells me, "I know...I know. I've been there. I know what it's like to be betrayed. I know what it's like to be poor. I know what it's like to be scorned and mocked and tempted." Hebrews 2:16-18 couldn't have put it any better:

"16For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. 17For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for[a]the sins of the people. 18Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

When we feel overwhelmed by the weight that trials bring, may we find some comfort knowing that Christ not only understands, but intercedes as our sympathetic, empathetic high priest.

The second thing Jesus is telling me in the midst of my grumbling and defeatedness, is "Trust me, I got it handled. Press on towards the goal. Even though you don't feel like it, trust me."

How quickly emotions can trump theology. How quickly the temptation of relaxation can stifle gospel mission and cosmic redemption. I don't know if I'm letting my plate spillover, but I just here God telling me to trust him. That's all I can do at this point. It's either trust God, or give up. And quitting I feel is not an option for me at this point, so I press on, knowing that God has a sovereign plan, and his plan is much more complex and great that what I may think it should be.

A long while back I posted a blog showcasing some really cool Christian rappers I found out about. Well there's one guy in particular that I really think is awesome, and he's from Philly too! His name's Shai Linne. To give you an idea on how sweet this guy is, he wrote a song called "Spurgeon." This video clip is an excerpt from one of his concerts. The clip begins with him doing a short accapella rap that is so well constructed and it is soooo glorifying to God!! After that he goes onto the give a very brief but convicting Gospel presentation to the crowd there. This is kingdom work in today's world!

Been back for a week now

2009-08-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

I've been back for almost a week now, and I've gotta be honest, I'm already exhausted again. I'm hoping and praying that it's just because of the fact that I'm still jet-lagged and just coming off of a vacation that I feel so tired now, and hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things. But work right now is really tough, and I have many responsibilities in many areas at work, and in church and the college ministry I do. I feel overwhelmed right now. Please pray for me, I am extremely exhausted.

I also had to move into a new apartment this week. I used to live on the 4th floor of my apartment building, now I moved onto the 2nd floor. It's a long story, but yeah, I'm now in a new room. It took me maybe about 6 or 7 hours to get everything done, so that was also pretty tiring. But I'm actually pretty happy with the new apartment, it's definitely cleaner than my old one...for now^_^. It's basically the same exact apartment, just inverted if you can imagine that.

I've been able to catch up with many of my friends back in Korea, and it's really great seeing all of them again. I am reminded of God's blessings to me so much by all of the amazing people Hee's given to me in friendship.

Looking back on my vacation in the States, it was really great. It was pretty much what I was hoping for. I got to see many of my friends and family, but also spend a lot of time just relaxing and reading. Of course now I'm kind of in shock being back to a rigorous work schedule. Also, before I came back to the States, I felt like God was pushing on my heart to touch base with all of my friends on a spiritual level, and God really honored that. With almost all of my friends, God gave me opportunities to share what God's been teaching me, prayer request with them, and hardship and encouragements. But it was such a blessing for me, and for so many of my friends, I feel like God is really doing some awesome things in their hearts, and that was really encouraging for me to see.It was great to be back and finally see all of the Sanders side together again since 2 years ago. We ate amazing food, shared many things about our lives, played catchphrase, and got to see Poppop in a very interesting hat^_^. I really am so thankful to God that everyone was able to make it.

I also got to see so many friends that I haven't seen in a while.

I even got to go up to Boston to see Tim V. It had been about 2 years since I had last seen him, so that was a very sweet reunion. I'd love to go back again if he's still there. What made it even better was that Andrew and Aaron came with me, and I got to see Zack again, a friend I met through Tim. I also got to meet all of his cool roomates.

And of course the highlight of being back was getting to see my lovely new niece Chloe. I seemed so unreal to actually be holding her. I'm so proud of Kevin and Alison, and I know that they are going to be amazing parents! Chloe is so adorable and lovely, I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off of her the whole time I was there. I can't wait to see her again, and I can't wait to see how much she's grown the next time I see her.

Overall, it was really just a great vacation. Once again, please pray that I will have to strength to accomplish everything that is required of me in Korea, and that God will continue to use me for his glory, and that I would be wise in planning for my future as every year seems to bring many difficult decisions.

Thoughts while riding

2009-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

These days I've been riding my bike a lot. I love riding my bike now. I truly am my father's child. As I ride my bike, I try to listen to either podcasts of sermons, or do what I did yesterday, which was start to listen to the Bible on Mp3. I listened to Genesis 25-Exodus 23, and it was quite good. If anyone knows me, I'm not much a reader, so going through the Bible on mp3 was an interesting way to approach the Bible. It's definitely not meant for serious meditation, but you want something to listen to as you commute somewhere, or clean the house, or exercise, I think it's a valuable thing to think about doing. It's free too on Itunes, so no excuses^_^

As I rode my bike I took some pictures that I'll post periodically through out this blog. I haven't posted my thoughts in a while, but I was thinking recently about how I view Christ, and some important things that have come to my mind about Him. I realize that perhaps for much of my life, I don't think I was looking at Christ with the right lens. I definitely saw him as loving, the one who I owed my entire life to, the only one who could pay the penalty that I so justly deserve. It's not that I had a wrong view of Christ, but I wasn't seeing the whole picture, and it was really cloudy my desires and left me longing for other things than Christ.

I realized that I wasn't seeing him as the beautiful treasure he is that is so wonderful, that He's all you want in life. There's nothing more desirable than Christ. There's nothing more in all the universe, that fits more perfectly with our desires and the way we were designed. We were designed to worship Jesus. And if you don't grasp the fact that your deepest joy in the life is worshiping and being satisfied in Christ, you will always turn to something else. In the past, I always felt like owed Christ something, instead of realizing that I can't pay back Christ at all. There is nothing I can offer him that would somehow make us even. But instead, I am now realizing that I follow Christ not because I have to, but because he is irresistibly beautiful. My heart wants nothing else but to worship and follow. It's not a duty, but a desire. And if we don't see Christ as supremely valuable, all we are left with is empty religion and idolatry. We will not be content in Christ. We look for value and joy in other things. And we will try to somehow appease God with our acts of religion.
But something I heard John Piper said changed my life I think. He said that "worship is the consummation of joy in anything." He used music, movies, or books as an example. If you read a really great book, what's the first thing you want to do after you read it? You want to tell other people about it. You can't hold back your praise, worship, honor, and glorification of this book. You want others to know how amazing this book is as well, and it brings you so much joy to tell others about it, and to see them enjoy it as well. We are like this, because God made our bodies for worship. And it should be the same with Christ. Our deepest joy in the entire world, period, is worshiping Christ. It doesn't matter what other desires you have that you think will bring you more joy...they won't. Nothing can top this; because this is how we were designed. Nothing will ever give you more pleasure, meaning, joy, and satisfaction than glorifying God through enjoying HIM forever. I have to scream this to myself every day, because there are so many other things in the world lying to me telling me there's something else that can fill the craving that only Christ can satisfy.

My prayer is that we would seek after joy and satisfaction. That we wouldn't run from pleasure, but pursue it whole-heartedly in Christ. Because it's the only pursuit worth it.Another thing has been on my mind recently as well. Recently I've heard many people having complaints about hell for one reason or another. People generally seem to dislike it because it just seems to harsh. And I understand them. I understand how they're feeling, because I've often felt that way. But something radically needs to change if we are going to have a proper view of hell, and I think this worldview issue is the primary reason why so many people have a difficult time believing in hell.

People won't, can't accept the idea of hell because they fundamentally, at the core, think that they don't deserve to go there. No body wants to think that they are bad enough for hell. People will admit that they've messed up, but messed up to the point of eternal damnation? That seems like too much. And even though I would have said that yes, without Christ, you are going to hell, it never settled well with me. Now I'm not saying that hell should be an easy concept to handle. It's not. There's nothing in the world harder to consider. But we should never let it get to point when we start to doubt God's justice, love, and goodness.

So basically, there has to be a paradigm shift. We have to get to the point where we stop seeing ourselves as basically innocent with a couple of blemishes, and see ourselves as we truly are. Guilty, sinners, worthy to be cast into hell. That we have all fallen short of the glory of God. That we have spit on and mocked God. That we have committed treason against the most high God of the universe. That God would be completely just and right to strike us all down at this moment. That we were all once enemies of God. We hated God. The last thing we would want to do is to be with him. We are completely worthy of hell. Every second we are alive, is an act of mercy and grace from God, because he is allowing us one more second to live and to turn from our lives of sin, and turn to him.

If we don't see ourselves in that light, we'll never truly accept hell as a reality for people without Christ. I mean, I don't understand why people always talk soooooooooooo much about getting saved, and about how amazing Christ is as our savior, but seem to leave out the part about what we're being saved from...? Why would people embrace a savior if they don't feel like they need to be saved from anything. And without realizing the true depth of our sinfulness, we will never come to truly cherish how AMAZING God's love is for us!

So most people would think about hell, and begin to question God's love. I would submit it's the opposite. The existence of hell proves God's love to be 100 times deeper than the latter. It's only when we see ourselves as we truly are, that we are able to grasp the infinite love that Christ has for us in dying for us while we were yet sinners, deserving of judgment.

It might seem like an easy concept, and pretty basic to our Christian foundation. I KNOW. So why is it such a taboo topic then?

Those are just some thoughts. I haven't given any in a while. If I feel so inspired, hopefully I can write some more.^_^ Can't wait to see everyone:)

Suwon 화성 Fortress

2009-05-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since my last blog entry. But Spring has come, and I plan on taking many more trips these days to different places in Korea. This past Friday was teacher's day, and I had off from work. So my friend Zach (who I went to Gangwondo with), and I went to Suwon to see the Hwaseong Fotress. It's very interesting, because it's actually a huge outerwall that spans across maybe 3-4 Kilometers. Inside is a town basically. We walked around most of the wall. The main fortress area was shut down on the day we went because they were having some ceremony there, and we tried to walk in, but a security guy told us we couldn't go in. But we still had a great time. It was really beautiful, and we got loads of great pictures:

After the fotress, we met up with some other friends from Dunamis, and we went to Hongdae. There we went to a sweet coffee shop called "Coffee Lab." Then we ate some Japanese Ramen noodles that were soooo delicious. Then we went to a waffle restaurant and we got strawberry and ice-cream waffles, also sooo good. Finally we went to a Jazz cafe called "Evan's." I've been there twice before. A sweet funk/jazz band was playing. After that we saw an outside performance in a park next to the cafe of another band. They were both really fun performances!

Is Jesus just a ticket, or is he the treasure in the field?

2009-03-15T06:03:00.000-07:00

I've heard a string of pastors recently giving calls of warning to their churches about the assurance of their salvation. I think it's based on a very simple question that everyone needs to ask themselves? Is Jesus just a ticket? With a wellspring of health, wealth, and prosperity gospel preachers flooding the airwaves and bookstores in America, the danger is that far too many people treat Jesus as a ticket to their true heart's treasures, instead of seeing Jesus as the one and only treasure. This John Piper sermon clip sums it up well:

I wonder what the world would be like if everyone who claimed to be a Christian, treasured Christ alone!

Trip to Japan

2009-02-07T03:55:00.000-08:00

So I finally have some time to sit down and try to recall all of the things we did in Japan. Let me start off by saying it was an amazing trip. I went with a co-worker and one of his friends, and they were both really good guys to travel with. They are much more experienced at traveling than me, so they did a ton of research beforehand, knew exactly what places to see, and they liked to go at a fast pace, which is exactly my style. So we ended up seeing pretty much what seemed like all of Kyoto in basically 2 days. I feel like now I could confidently give someone a pretty decent tour of Kyoto.

When we got to Japan, we took a train from Osaka to Kyoto. It wasn't one of the bullet-trains, but it definitely looked like one, and it went pretty fast as well. So that was fun. When we got there, we first found our hostel. It was called K House, and it was really great. I've never stayed in a hostel before, but the other two guys said it was one of the best they've been in. It had a really great cafe attached to it, and we got a 3 bed room so we didn't have to worry about sleeping in a dorm with a bunch of people, so that rocked too. The place was really clean, and the toliets were so futuristic. The toilets even had a flushing music option. The Simpsons weren't lying...

The people at our hostel were also so helpful in giving us great directions to sights and great tips on good places to go to. We decided first to go Fushimi Irani Shrine. I really wanted to go here because it's one of the filming locations for the film "Memoirs of a Geisha." The place didn't disappoint either. It's got just literally 100s, maybe even 1000s of orange gates/archways, that guide you along a path. In the film, you can see the main character running through the archways at one point. After that, we took about an hour long train-ride to another city in Japan called Nara. It is the oldest city in Japan now, and we went there because we heard there was a festival going on at the time. Unfortunately when we got there it was already over. But it was ok, because we just decided to walk around, and we got to see a lot of amazing temples, shrines, and parks. One of the things Nara is best known for is its massive deer population. Now originally this didn't seem that interesting to me. But then I realized that these deer aren't ordinary deer. They're basically domesticated. They would walk right up to you, you could even feed them. They were so used to people and cars, that nothing scared them. As a result they were also incredibly fat. They almost didn't even look like deer. I was literally less than a foot away from them. Here's a video to prove I'm not lying. I took a video, but it was dark at night, and not that impressive. But I found another video on youtube that shows what these deer can do. These ones are much skinnier than the ones I encountered, and they're also much more ambitious, but the principle's similar. This video was taken in Nara as well:

Here's one more video I found that shows that these deer are truly Japanese, they even bow.

Unfortunately, we were walking around Nara so late at night, that it was pitch-black at some points. At one point, I was walking along, and there was a chain on this one step, so I stepped off the the side so I didn't have to step over the chain, unaware, that there was a small aquaduct right there. I fell maybe two feet into this small moat, and couldn't get out. The two guys with me thought I fell into a well or something, because they said when I fell I literally disappeared. I had some nasting bruises the next day, and my one elbow still hurts a bit, but I was ok.

The next day, we got up bright and early for two reasons. One we wanted to get a good head-start on all the sightseeinng, and two, we wanted to eat the breakfast buffet at our hostel. One downside to my trip was that everything in Japan is very expensive, and their meals are very small, so we had to end up eating 4-5 meals a day to make up for all the energy we were using walking everywhere. But thankfully, this breakfast buffet was cheep, and big, so we stocked up every morning on it.

That morning we got a 5 dollar bus pass that got us free bus service anywhere in the Kyoto city limits, so we used the buses a lot while we were there. We started off by seeing some traditional houses on the beginning of our what seemed like a 15 mile walking tour. Then we happened upon a semetary. We weren't sure how big it was at first, then we saw that we were at the edge of it, and looking down, we were on the top of the biggest most impressive semetaries I've ever seen before. It stretched as far as the eye could see.

After that, our first major spot we went to was Kiyomizu-Dera. This place was one of the highlights for many reasons. It had many temples and shrines, and the interesting thing about many of these historical sights, is that they were built at various times, so many of them had very unique architectural designs. This was the first of many places where I saw the history of buddhism in Japanese culture. Even though most Japanese people today aren't buddhist, most of their important historical artifacts are, and many people still came to these shrines to light incense, say a prayer, toss some money into a box, and ring a bell. The shrines that were constructed for all of the buddhas were so elborate, but they always scared me a bit too. There were also wells where people would take big wooden sticks with a cup on the end, and drink out of it for some cleansing purpose I believe. It was definitely alienating being in a culture where God seemed completely absent, and even though Kyoto was one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to, I definitely would feel very uncomfortable living there I think. But none-the-less, from a historical, cultural, and breath-taking sightseeing point of view, all of these temples were very interesting.

After we saw the temple, we went into the market place, where they had many many many shops the by souveniers(sp?). We stumbled upon this one tofu/tea house. I don't know why, but I really had this feeling that this place would be amazing. Unfortunately each plate was 30 dollars, but the lady said she would let us all split one dish. So that's what we did. This place was seriously, perhaps the highlight of the trip for me. It was so authentically Japanese. We were in a very traditional Japanese room, with the sliding doors, Japanese floors, and we were surrounded by a small, elegant, beautiful garden. All the walls on two sides were class too, so you could see everything outside around you. They served a lot of delicious tofu, which I coming to enjoy more and more as I eat it. I felt like even though we were only in our 2nd day their, my trip was already complete after that dining experience.

Then as we headed out to the next place, we saw some Geisha walking down the street. Later on we saw some other people taking a picture of them, so I asked if I could take a picture too, and they kindly agreed.

Next we saw many many different temples and historical tourist spots including Kodaiji, Chion-in, Shoren-in, and Nanzenji. All of these places were unique in their own ways, and they all provided some great picture taking. We also went on something called the Philosopher's walk, which is basically a walk through some very peaceful, calm neighborhoods in Kyoto. That path took us to Ginkakuji, which was actually under repairs at the time, but was still really great to go to. Probably the coolest thing about this place was all the different kinds of moss that grew there. Literally, they had a little spot that had samples of all the most that was growing there, there must have been at least 50 different types. It was a beautiful place, and many of these places have something called Zen Gardens there as well. They're basically small rocks arranged in very artistic, and neat designs. I'm not sure the purpose of them, and how they're kept in such perfect order, but they look very neat. The other cool thing that I really loved about many of these places was when were able to go inside the building and houses. The rooms were always so beautiful. So many of these places reminded me of all the Japanese films I've watched over the years, and it was like I was experiencing historical Japan for myself.

As night fell, we decided to go to an Onsen. An Onsen is a Japanese spa. I've been to many spas in Korea too. Here in Korea, they're called Jimjillbangs. We asked one lady at our hostel to give us a good place to go to, and she recommended this Onsen that was a half hour train ride outside of Kyoto. It seemed a little risky, but we went for it. When we got off the train, there was no one there. It was in the middle of a foresty area, and we had no idea where this spa was. There was also no one working at the train station, so we had no one to help us with directions. Then out of the blue, a man walks into the train station, asking us if we were looking to go to this spa.
We said we were, and he told us that he had a van and would drive us there. Then he added that it would be free. It was perfect timing. It turns out that this place is hard to get to, and so they offer free shuttle service to the spa, or else no one would probably ever get there. When we got there, we were decided to go with the deluxe package, which included the indoor, and OUTDOOR spa. The outdoor spa was another one of the quintessential Japanese experiences we had. We were in the middle of a forest, at night, in a wooden spa, in probably 40 degree weather, looking up at the stars. It was awesome. They also gave us Kimono type robes to wear at the spa as well.

After the spa, we came back into Kyoto, and went to the college, hip part of the city where we ate dinner.

That was a definitely a full day, but we still had one more full day ahead of us. The next day, after filling up with energy on the breakfast buffet, we were off to one of the most popular sights in Kyoto. Kinkaku-ji, otherwise known as the "Golden Pavilion." Unfortunately, it was like a 30-40 minute bus ride to get there, but it was beautiful. The Pavilion was painted in bright gold, and it was situated in the middle of a small pond. After that we walked to Ryoan-ji because it supposedly had one of the most impressive Zen Gardens in Japan, but the place was closed for one month. So we went to Ninnaji which was right next to it, and that place was really cool. They another big indoor walking area of some very traditional houses that was really impressive. Then, we took a bus back to the center of Kyoto where we got to see Nijo Castle. This castle had the moat and everything. It was very big, with many impressive building and gardens. Unfortunately, the main building where we got to go inside, we weren't aloud to take pictures. That was one of the best parts of the trip for me, but I couldn't take any photos to show you guys unfortunately. They showed how the Shoguns at the time lived, and where they conducted all of their meetings. It was another big movie moment for me. One interesting thing about the castle was that it had something called "Nightingale floors" which squeaked loudly as you walked on them. They were built this way so that if anyone came to assassinate the Shogun, he would be heard from the second he stepped into the building.

Next we headed off to a place a little outside of Kyoto's city limits, which had a lot of amazing sights. First, we went to a place called Tenryu-Ji, which had an amazing garden in it. Then we went to the Bamboo Forest, which was amazing. On the other side of the Bamboo Forest, was a house that was built by an old silent film actor. The place was called Okochi Sanso. He had these amazing walkways, gardens, and his house overlooked the moutains and a river down below. It was an amazing place, and then, at the end, you got to go in one of the building and drink tea.

After that, we took a walk around the neighborhoods in the area, just soaking in the local scenary. Then we went to a river near where we were, and there was a moutain trail on the one side where we took a 45 minute hike along the river. Then, we headed back to the city, where we ate Sushi at one of those conveyor belt sushi restaurants. It was so good. Then we went to a place called Pontochoto, which is a very narrow alley street that was kept to look very traditional Japanese. All of the restaurants and cafes were really expensive, and we were all running low on money, so we just walked around. Then we went to Gion, which was another traditional place where many Geisha walk around, but we didn't see any. It was really interesting at night to see all of the streets with traditional houses. Then we finally got back to our hostel, and it was off the to the train station the next morning to go back to the airport.

So that's basically most of what we did. It was a great trip! Here's a slideshow of some of the pictures I took (I took around 600, so I had to choose only a couple for the slideshow.) It goes in the same order as what I wrote about, so you can go back if you want and read everything again and follow along with the slideshow^_^(for those of you who are really interested:)) You might want to pause the slideshow too at times, because I wanted to make it short, so the pictures only last a second or two each. I hope you enjoy!

Coming Soon

2009-02-03T06:20:00.001-08:00

This weekend, my Japan post will finally be posted. It's going to be worth the wait I think. The slideshow is coming along nicely, and I want to give as detailed a report as possible; so thank you so much for your patience; I've been non-stop busy since I got back to Korea.

Still so tired

2009-01-29T05:53:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry guys, I'm still extremely tired coming back to Korea. I barely made it through work today, and I'm just falling asleep when I get back home. Hopefully once the weekend comes I can really relax and get my strength back. I need a vacation after such a tiring vacation^_^

I'll try to write an update on Japan when I feel better, in the mean time, here's some more pictures that will hopefully suffice for now while I recover.

Back from Japan

2009-01-27T05:32:00.000-08:00

Japan was awesome! I'll write a really big blog about it soon when I have time:) Expect to see many more amazing pictures like this one!

Going to Japan for 4 days

2009-01-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

So randomly I'm going to Japan on Saturday. I'll be flying into Osaka on Saturday morning, then with two other guys, I'll be taking a bus to Kyoto. I'm coming back to Korea on Tuesday. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. I'll write about my trip soon:)

A follow-up to last time

2009-01-11T05:49:00.000-08:00

I just finished listening to some sermons from Tim Keller (thanks to Philip Carhart for sending them to me), and I only listened to 2 of an 11 part series so far, but they've been very solid so far, and very engaging and practical. They also I think tie in very nicely to the last topic on comfort I wrote about, and they give is some backbone and support.

Keller starts his series off with 1 Corinthians 13. The love passage:) He mentioned how many people often use this passage at their weddings, and they think it's very tender and nice. But in the context that Paul was writing this passage, we get anything but warm tender feelings, instead, we are shaken and convicted. The Corinthian church at this time was full of many successful people who had a lot of accomplishments. But they were always bickering with each other, and they were not acting at all out of love. And through out the book of 1 Corinthians, Paul is trying to remind the church of Jesus, and how humbling the cross should be for them. Let's look at chapter 13 here:

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

In verses 1-3, we see a humbling series of situations. We see that people can do seemingly great things, but because of the absense of love, they are meaningless. I think these verses remind me a lot of the book of Ecclesiastes.

Then in verses 4-7, we see the characteristics of what love looks like. Here is the part where Keller's message really blew me away. He showed that how in most English translations, all of these characteristics of love are translated as "adjectives." While in the original text, they are "verbs." And Paul is specifically writing them as verbs because he means to "personify" love. And Keller says he does this for both a general and specific reason. The general reason is so that we realize that love is a living and active power. It's not just a set of guidelines that we can try to apply to our lives, but instead, love must come into our lives and breath life into us. In a specific way, how can this love come into our lives. Well this love is really Jesus. Jesus personifies all of these principles perfectly. Spurgeon said that on the cross Jesus perfectly lived out all of these aspects of love, while the people crucifying him were the complete opposite, and yet he stayed.

So if you want, you can go back and read the passage again, but this time replace all of the words of "love" with "Jesus," and we get an idea of how we can attain this kind of love. This passage must not be merely looked at as a guide for our behavoir. If we look at it that way, it will only lead us to feelings of defeat, or on the flipside, selfishness and pride (a.k.a. religion). But, if we see this as a love that we don't have to do first, but was done to and for you first; and we see that Jesus pours himself into us (this is all pretty much direct quotes from Keller now), then this changes the whole dynamic.

Now this relates to my topic of comfort in that we see that without Jesus and love, the idea of living in uncomfortable circumstances is utterly useless. Verses 1-3 cover the whole spectrum of sacrifice. People could give their whole lives to a cause, they could give all their money to the poor, they could even die for a cause, but without Jesus, it gets them nothing.

So let us always remember the source and the reason for why we choose to live radical lives. We choose to live radical lives not so that we can somehow build up our sense of pride, or feel like only after we do these things that Christ will love us. No, we do them as a reaction to Christ's love that was first poured out for us. We love because he first loved us. We are incapable of this kind of love apart from Jesus. So let us always check our heart motives for everything we do. Are we doing things out of a sense of pride or are we doing them out of love for Jesus, knowing that he is the source of all good things; and that without Jesus, we can do nothing and we gain nothing.

This passage and sermon was really convicting for me as I look at my own motives for what I do. So often, pride and selfishness gets in the way of true service. I think as sinners, we'll never be able to completely, perfectly humble ourselves in service to God, but through prayer and Christ's strength, we must strive to honor and serve Christ according to the grace he has given us!

Random thoughts

2009-01-05T06:24:00.001-08:00

(Random Picture from my apartment window)

So I've been thinking about a lot of different topics recently, and I just thought I'd throw some of my thoughts out there. These thoughts are not edited, published, or clear in any way, they're still in the brainstew phase, so as I right, I'm thinking them through still; so please don't judge them too harshly. At the same time, any input you have on any of the topics would be most appreciated.

Topic 1: Comfort
So this idea of comfort I've never really seen as a "temptation" or a bad thing in any way. It's nice to be comfortable. Everyone seems to be striving after it, and I don't see any blatent sin in comfort. I don't see "thou shalt not be comfortable." And yet, in the past year, I've been bombarded by messages, sermons, people, and ideas who are warning against the dangers of comfort. And I guess what it boils down to is that like many good things, comfort can easily become an "idol." And like most of Satan's plans, comfort is a deceptive, and below-the-radar temptation.

I'd say John Piper, more than anyone else, has been hammering home this idea of comfort trumping radical Christian living, particularly in wealthier countries. Paul's life alone I think shows that comfort is not the ideal that Christians should strive for. Most people today would feel cursed if their car didn't start in the morning. And yet, for Paul, it was not unusual for him to be beaten, whipped, stoned and threatened almost daily. I heard a sermon that effectively chronicled all of Paul's sufferings for the sake of Christ, and the question came up, is there anything keeping me from striving after this same kind of devotion to Christ? And comfort was the big stumbling block.

I think in more wealthy nations, people don't struggle with persecution, poverty, or overt Satanic activity, but instead, we deal with the shackles that come with wealth and riches. And the Bible constantly refers to the accumulation of wealth as a curse! If this is the case, why is comfort and wealth a curse? I don't want to judge anyone's motives for leading a comfortable life, and if your life is comfortable, I in no way want to suggest that it is the result of sin. I merely want to open people to the idea that comfort is often a huge hinderence in effectively serving Christ.

One major cause that John Piper brought up as the cause for a comfortable lifestyle is the idea that people don't think that they can be effective servants for the Kingdom of God. They feel like they haved sinned too greatly, or somehow have ruined their witness, and as a result, instead of striving after a Paul lifestyle that considers everything rubish in comparison to Christ, people settle for a comfortable life because they think that's the best they can do. Like C.S. Lewis said, we are too easily satisfied. We settle for the joy of TV, houses, money, and ease, effectively the McDonalds of life, while we give up the joy that comes from walking totally with Christ, effectively the Steak of life.

In John 21, Jesus asks Peter 3 times, "Do you love me?" And after Peter understands why Jesus goes on to ask this question 3 times, Jesus then tells him, "I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"'

Jesus tells Peter here that he would be crucified for the sake of Christ. The cost of discipleship is not wealth and prosperity, and Jesus calls us to follow him even unto death. We are called to glorify God with our lives, and even in our death. And my question is, does the comfortable life really match up with Jesus' plan and desire for Peter's life in this passage. Do we really love Jesus? In this passage Peter was comfronted with the guilt of his rejection of Christ. But Christ forgives Peter here, and says, Follow me! It's not about our worthiness that makes us effective servants. Peter is even poked fun at earlier when Jesus calls him the "rock" of the church. Basically saying, if Peter, a man who has shown time and time again that he can not do things on his own strength, can be such an instrumental tool in spreading the gospel, then everyone can be used.

John Piper's big plea, and he even has a conference named after this, is DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE! Jesus is greater than all of our best efforts will ever be. Just look at the feeding of the 5000. It was not people's efforts that made this wonderful miracle possible, but Jesus' grace. In the same way, Jesus can, does, and will use all Christians even though we often feel weak and unworthy.

And also, to take from Piper, I want to be a "Christian Hedonist." I want to MAXIMIZE MY PLEASURE IN GOD! I'm all about pleasure. I want my joy to be complete, and the comfortable life can't offer me that. Only a life a sacrifice, devotion, and total satisfaction in Christ will bring me that joy.

So what does this mean for us? I'm not sure what it may me for you. I don't think this means we should all give up everything and go be missionaries. Most people are called to be senders, only a few are the ones who go. But I'm sure we can all do things to change the way we live. For me personally, I still don't know where my life is headed. I don't have a set career path in mind yet, but you better believe that this philosophy and conviction is the fuel behind my search. Whatever I do in life, I want to be fueled by the same desire that Paul had. I want my life to count for Christ! I don't want to waste my life. I want every action I take to be guided by the desire to see God glorified and Christ magnified!

In the end, we're all unworthy servants. Nothing we can ever do will add to the work of Jesus. Jesus must get all of the glory! But my question is, how will we respond to the wonderful work of Christ? Christ is our righteousness. When we stand before God, we will have nothing to present to Him except Christ. In light of this wonderful grace, what is Christ worth to you?

That went longer than I expected...

Here are some videos that John Piper presents that deal with this topic:

Topic 2: Hell
This is something I personally don't like talking about. Hell scares me. No lying about that. It's been something that has terrified me from a very young age. Before I was even sure if I believed in God, I believed in hell. Now as I've matured as a Christian, I have become more secure in my hope in Christ, and more recently, I've heard many pastors discuss the issue of salvation and hell in a new, refreshing light that I never thought of before.

Number 1: God gives condemned people what they want. People like Mark Driscoll, Bryan Chapell and others have really opened up this idea to me. People who go to hell are merely getting what they want. People who aren't saved don't want God. And hell is the place where God is completely absent. So people who reject God, and go to hell, are getting what they wanted. The only people who don't get what they want, "originally," is Christians. Everyone wants to sin and turn away from God, and God has to change people's hearts and make them new creations and give them new desires. Anyone who desires God has had a POWERFUL MIRACLE take place. Because left as dead sinners, no one wants God. This is why calvinism is so important, because it recognizes the power God has to save sinners. It takes a miracle for someone to love Jesus; and God is the only one who can change a sinners heart to make that happen!

Here's a good video where Bryan Chapell explains what hell is like:

Topic 3: Female Pastors
I don't really have to much to say on this issue. Historically, I've been raised to say that female pastors are unbiblical. Recently, most people I know would say that female deacons are ok, but not elders or pastors. Now I still say that I don't think it's Biblical for a woman to be a pastor. I've heard some very convincing sermons that argue this point. And the whole idea of the man being the head of the home, makes it hard for me to say that a woman could be the pastor of a church. I mean, how could a female pastor's husband still be the spiritual head of his family? There's a slew of other concerns in there, but that's just one example that I think of.

But my pastor, whom I respect greatly, and most of the time, agree with, gave a sermon which advocated female pastors. He used 1 Timothy 2 as his scripture reference, where it clearly states, "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent." Now my pastor did say that women should not be the head or lead pastor. He thinks that that position is only reserved for men. But he does believe that scripture cites many examples of women in leadership positions in the church, and goes on to use this passage to advocate for female pastors. What are people's thoughts on these issues? I can't say that I know biblical history well enough, or that I'm smarter than my pastor to say that he's wrong? Does anyone know any good books? Or other specific passages that would argue one way or the other? It's not a huge issue for me, but just something I thought about recently.

Well there you go, there's some topics to stew on for a while. Again any feedback is more than welcome, and I hope I didn't offend anyone in a way that was unbiblical.

Lastly, on the light side, here's a video of me sledding in the mountains of South Korea, and not being very successful at it:)

Christmas Vacation

2009-01-02T05:51:00.001-08:00

Since Christmas day, I've had vacation, and it's been very good^_^

On Christmas Eve, a friend from Dunamis invited me to his home for dinner. His wife made a lot of traditional Korean food, and it was very good. He invited a bunch of foreigners over to his for Christmas Eve because he wanted foreigners to have a home to be in for the holiday, and it was really very nice of them. We also had a white elephant exchange, and I ended up getting a gospel CD, which I think was one of the better gifts:)

Then on Christmas day, I met my best friend Angela for lunch and we exchanged some Christmas gifts. Then I went to a joint English church service, where all the English ministries in Seoul came together for a Christmas service. It was really nice. Then, I went caroling with some people from my church. We went to a really poor area in Seoul where they still live in shacks, and we handed out gifts and Bible to them, and sang Christmas carols. It was such a blessed time for me. I felt God working in what we were doing there, and it was real eye-opening experience for me, that even in Seoul, some people live in very desperate situations.

Then the next day, I went to a national museum with my friend Hyunsuk. He taught me a lot about Korean history, and I took many pictures, but unfortunately, I LOST MY CAMERA!! That happened later. But I don't have any pictures from the museum as a result:(

That night, I went to a Jimjilbang, which is basically a Sauna and Spa. I also took pictures there of the common room, where everyone meets and just relaxes on message chairs and takes naps. I don't have those pictures anymore either:(

Then this past Monday, I went to Lotte World. It was a lot of fun! It's one of the big amusement parks in Korea. Half of the park is indoors, and the other half is outside. The rides were a lot of fun, even though it was a bit chilly for the outdoor rides:)

Another friend from Dunamis has started a book cafe near Soongsil University where I volunteer. I spent a lot of time at that cafe this week just reading and hanging out. The man who runs it, his English name is Zorba, and he's a really nice, cool guy!

Then I also went on a 3 day trip to a place in the mountains of Korea called 둔내

I went with one of the fellow teachers at Dunamis, and we stayed in a log cabin in the mountains. There was snow there, and it was a really peaceful, relaxing time. Neither of us could really speak much Korean, so it was a challenge getting by in the country-side where no one speaks English. But we did "ok." It was on the bus ride up to the mountain that I lost my camera. I must have left it on the bus. I guess I'll never grow out of my forgetfulness. But the guy I went with, he had just bought a new camera, so he offered to give me his old one for free. I paid him a bit for it though, because his camera was an upgrade from my old one. It was very kind of him. So now I have a camera again:)

The time in the mountains was good to grow closer to God, have some good fellowship, and just relax and read.

It has been a great vacation. Now I have to go back to work...

A passage to medidate on

2008-12-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

1 Peter 1
1Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, 2who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

The part of this passage that really sticks out to me are those 4 words, "strangers in the world"

I decided to stay in South Korea for another year. My current contract ends at the end of February. I'll be coming back to the States for one month, then I'll stay in Korea from April 2009 till April 2010. Wow, it seems so long when I put it that way. I thought about the decision a lot, and I prayed about it, and talked to many people, and I feel this is what God wants me to do right now. I feel at peace about the decision, but it doesn't mean that there aren't many things floating around in my head.

Ever since I graduated college I came to a very hard realization: This world will not satisfy us. It can't and it never will. College was a very idealistic, optomistic time for me. The world was at my fingertips, and I couldn't wait to show it what I was made of. Now, almost a year and a half out of college, that idealism has I wouldn't say faded, but been transformed into something else. I think in college, I was not ultimately looking for my satisfaction in Christ. I saw Christ as a means of finding satisfaction in the world. I knew that without Christ, I wouldn't be satisfied, but perhaps, I thought of Christ as more of a means, than the end.

But as I medidate on the word more and more, and as I here the word faithfully preached to me throught men like Eddie Byung (my pastor here in Korea), John Piper, Mark Driscoll, Eric Mason, John MacArthur, Duce Branch, and others, I see that my focus was in the wrong place. I think, Piper more than anyone, has opened my eyes to the real purpose of life. He has a great rearrangement Westminster's cheif end of man, he puts it as "The chief end of man is to glorify God BY enjoying him forever. The world and what it has to offer can never satisfy the human soul, because our ultimate satisfaction can only come through Christ.

And I think through all of my times of reflection here in Korea, this is one of the things I've come to realize most. This world is not our ultimate home. We are strangers on this earth. Living in Korea for this long now, this place feels like my home now. I feel completely comfortable here. I have many great friends, a good church, a steady job, and the culture fits with my personality very well I think. And yet, I know there's more than this. Maybe at times, I thought my restlessness was due to the fact that I wasn't in my home country. If I just went back to the States, then peace would settle in my heart. But that's not true either, and having to make the decision to stay for another year really confirmed that to me. Now please don't take that as meaning that I don't want to come back to the States. I do. I desperately do. I can't wait to come back in March. I miss all of you soooooooo much. I often dream about just being with my family and friends again. I take very seriously the views that C.S. Lewis had on friends. He said that friends make the place special, not the place itself. Which is why I have strong connections to both Korea and the States, because I have so many great people that I care about in both.

That was kind of a tangent, but basically yeah, I've been thinking about this "strangers" aspect of our lives. If it is true that we are strangers, what does that mean about our commitments and attachments to the things of this world? To me, it's a very liberating idea that this is all temporary. Having an eternal perspective really frees you to be much more daring and bold for the sake of Christ. Maybe that's what I'm learning. That this world is not the chief end, and because of that, my sight and focus needs to be adjusted, and my goals need to shift as well. I don't think this sense of restlessness will go away until I'm face to face with my maker and savior.

My prayer is that I would continually seek after Christ each day, making Him the ultimate source of my joy, enjoyment, and satisfaction; and with that as my foundation, allowing him to lead me wherever he wants me to go, being free to do whatever God wants me to do for the Kingdom of God:)

3rd perm

2008-12-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I got a perm again. This time I got something called a "baby perm." Which means it's really curly this time^^. I like it!

Baseball fight

2008-11-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

I thought in light of the Phillies winning the World Series, I'd give you guys a different perspective of baseball in a global sense. Note: I assume this was all staged and just a big joke, but none-the-less, it's still shockingly hilarious. Also, if you've lived in Korea long enough, you'll understand what they're doing.

The election

2008-11-06T05:47:00.000-08:00

So Obama has won, and I figured I'd say a thing or two about the whole expierence.
First of all, I just wanted to say I really am not a good person to discuss politics because I know that I'm very ignorant about the whole process. Perhaps the most influential and profitable course I took in college was my political science course. My professor challenged me so much to think about how American politics works, and I learned more about how our country works than I knew before in my whole life. But even after the course was, done, I came to few conclusions. I understood clearly where each party stood, but I saw merit on both sides. Economically at least, I'd have to say that I came out of the course agreeing more with conservatives.

With all that said, I didn't vote. I have no excuse for it, but one could be that I wasn't in the country, and I was too lazy to work out an absentee balad. But on some key issues I definitely disagree with Obama. I'm pro-life, and I tend to think that conservative economics works better for America. But when I thought about the election, I wasn't sure who I wanted to win.

I feel a sense of calm with the outcome. I have a lot of hope for Obama, and I pray that God will give him wisdom. I think his being elected shows great strides forward for America, and I look forward to a stronger nation as a result of all of this. With healthcare, maybe national healthcare will be a disaster, but as a person with no job right now in the States, I'd be lying if I said that free healthcare didn't sound appealing. Considering that without it, I'd be shelling out 400 bux a month just to have it. And with the war, even though I see the danger of pulling out, I really want this war to be over.

So yeah, in terms of theory, I probably would have voted for McCain, but I feel ok about the results. Now with all of that said, I know many of you will probably want to tell me all of the reasons why I McCain would have been better, and I'd agree with you probably, but the election's over, and instead of living in the "what could have beens," I'm going to trust God with who he has appointed to be our country's next leader, and I will pray that God uses Obama to bless the nation, and bring more people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

blogger...argh

2008-11-02T04:36:00.001-08:00

I don't know why but blogspot is being stupid, and won't let me upload pictures right now. Hopefully it will get fixed and I can show you some sweet updates. More to come...(halloween pictures:))

Reformed Rappers (Theologically speaking that is...)

2008-10-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

So I like to check out the Resurgence website: http://theresurgence.com/, from time to time. They have a lot of amazing resources if you're interested in what's going on in the Reformed church in America. It's headed by the Pastor Mark Driscoll (one of my favorites), and he is really doing an amazing job with this site. It's very technologically savy, with lots of multi-media options. And he often does interviews with speakers of events that he has. They include guys like John Piper, Matt Chandler, and Eric Mason. And I just watched an awesome interview with a guy named "Lecrae." He's a theologically reformed Christian rapper, and it was one of the coolest and most inspiring interviews I've heard in a while. Lecrae and many others in his circle are basically being urban missionaries right now, mainly through the medium of rap, and mainly targeted at today's hip-hop culture. The homepage that I linked earlier at the top has about 10 videos featured on it. If you scroll through the videos, one of them will be titled; "Mark Driscoll and Lecrae." Check it out. It's really awesome what these guys are doing.

I'm also putting two videos up here. One of is a music video for a song that Lecrae did called "Prayin' for you," and the other one is by another Christian rapper named "The Ambassador." He's a friend of Lecrae, and they collaborate a lot as well. In the second video, "the Ambassador" is promoting his new album "the chop chop: from Milk to Meat", which is taken from Hebrews chapter 6. Listening to the way he promotes his new album is just so refreshing and encouraging to hear how centered his ministry and art is in Christ. It's really exciting to see what these guys are doing.

Here's the two videos:

A really late "Happy Chuseok"

2008-09-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

So not this past weekend, but the weekend before that, so like 9 days ago, it was Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving). We got Monday off and it was a really cool break. I got to see my friend Ivan from New Zealand (I used to work with him). He's teaching now at a High School outside of Seoul in a town called Ansan. It was really cool being in a more relaxed environment out of Seoul, but still relatively close to it. We went to his high school and looked around, and we got to talk to a lot of the local people around the area. Between my and my friend, we could carry on a fairly good conversation in "Korean!!"

I also got to play badminton on Sunday with Angela and her brother. It was so much fun. We played for so long, and it was at night on lighted courts at a park. It was awesome.

Then on Monday, I was invited to this guys apartment for lunch. To make a long story short, he's the CEO of Northwest Airlines in Korea. His apartment had an amazing view of the Han River, and he ordered a traditional American style Thanksgiving meal. We had Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and...kimchi ^_^ I figured I'd only have one chance in my life to eat Kimchi at Thanksgiving, so I should do it. It was very good!

Another piece of news, is that I got involved in this ministry to college students. Basically what I do, is I teach a media course every Saturday now at a University called Soongsil University. And the whole point of it is to share the gospel with the students. I've met some cool people there, and I taught my first class this past Saturday. It went pretty well. Over twenty students showed up, and I think they had a...fairly enjoyable time. We'll see how that progresses. Most of them are pretty shy about speaking English.

So yeah, overall, things are going well. I constantly thank God for the amazing people he has brought into my life here in Korea, and I am trusting Him to guide me wherever he wants me to be.

Also, I've been watching some kind of independent short films on youtube recently, and it's getting me itching to film something again. I might ask my boss to borrow his digital camera so I can just make...something.

We'll see how that goes.

My thoughts recently have been on Hebrews 11 a lot. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I think this is what I want my life to be. Living for a hope that I might not see come true in this lifetime. For some reason, that concept is so intriguing to me. I first encountered it last year in a Christian philosophy course I took, and it keeps coming back to me. I think it's one of the boldest statements in the whole Bible. That all these men "didn't recieve the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance." I'm captivated by the statement. I need to make a movie based on that concept.

Anyways, here's a random link to one of the films that really got me wanting to film something again. These guys' lighting and color is exactly the kind of lighting I LOVE!!!! This is just the trailer. You can watch the whole thing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgx8wpr6-eY&feature=user

Trying to get my mind off the world

2008-09-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've been really struggling recently to know exactly how to view the world I thought I understood. I used to be someone who tried my best to defend the culture against all of the negative criticisms that conservatives threw it's way. Listening to radio hosts like Michael Medved only discuss a movie's morality used to stick a knife in my side. I used to think, "poor culture." Nobody sees your "good qualities." People are only pointing out your "bad qualities." So I used to be a defender of culture, particularly when it came to movies.

Now I won't say that I've necessarily changed my positions on the arguments that I've made in the past, but I realize that I've been arguing with the wrong people. Because recently it's been made known to me that culture doesn't need defended. It doesn't need help. It's doing fine on it's own. It's spitting out a lot of junk, and people are eating it up. It's feeding us the nastiest stuff ever, and we keep coming back for more. We are truly a McDonalds nation, and it's permieted every area of society.

Greed fuels pop-culture, not art. Sex,money, and self-worth are the loudest voices in the media, and they've been screaming so loudly, for so long now, that we don't even hear them anymore. It's expected. And not only that, it's gotten to a point, where it could even be classified as "cute." One preacher, named E. Dewey Smith Jr., that Anthony Bradley linked to on his blog has a lot of great stuff to say about pop-culture. Here's a link to a sermon that Anthony brought attention to, and I think is really powerful as well. Beware, the sermon does discuss explicit lyrics of a song, so please take caution with that, that it is not nice to listen to, but it's the truth that I think more pastors need to courage to engage in. He tells it like it is, when everyone else is either deaf to disgusting nature of pop-culture these days, or merely wants to shy away from it.

So I take this time now to apologize the all the people who I have burdened over the years to just accept things. Because I'm not going to accept things anymore. I don't need to settle for what some executives tell me I should fill my time with. And maybe this is even sparking a new fire in my heart to get more engaged with culture again, so that I can hopefully be some agent of change. Recently, I've had this great desire to make a movie on the book of Ruth. That might sound weird, but I think it's one of the best stories I've ever heard, period. I'm actually quite surprised there hasn't been a movie on it already. It's so classic.

But yeah, I heard a great quote from Ebert I think where he said I'm not so much moved in movies where the characters are very bad, but what brings me to tears is when the main character is overwhelmingly good. And I think that's what's so attractive about the story of Ruth. Boaz and Ruth exemplify such great witnesses of what Godly men and women should be like, that it brings me to tears. And I really have a desire to tell this story now.

Usain Bolt...soooooo fast

2008-09-09T07:15:00.000-07:00

I know it's a little bit of old news, but I'm sure most of you heard something about Usain Bolt from the Olympics, the Jamaican runner who broke the world record for the 100 meter dash. And you might also probably know that he tends to be quite open about his celebrations and abilities.

I just found this video on youtube. A little parody of this record breaking moment. Hilarious!!!

Encourage one another

2008-08-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

When we read many of the openings to Paul's letters, they often begin with thanksgiving and encouragement. And my main question is: Do we exemplify this today in our lives? How often do we really take the time to express our love, thankfulness, and encouragement for the people in our lives. How often do we take the time to write letters, or just stop someone in church, and just lavish them with Christian, brotherly encouragement. Because my guess is that a lot of people could use it. It's amazing what just a couple words by a random person in my life can mean to me. God uses what might seem insignificant to you, to mean a lot to someone else. And why not want to bless our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? What an incredible strengthening would occur in the church if we invested ourselves more into their lives, and showed that we cared.

Maybe I'm being too sentamental, but I just want to thank each and every person in my life who's been an encouragement to me. You are being Christ to me, and really appreciate more than words can express. So I encourage anyone reading this, to make a sincere, purposeful effort to show love and encouragement to other people in your life. My guess, is that if you randomly wrote a letter of encouragement to someone in Christ, that they would be blown away, and maybe even encouraged to do the same. There doesn't have to be an occassion for it. Just show them how much your fellowship with them in Christ means to you, and how much you desire for them to honor God in everything they do. I'd love to hear any feedback on how that goes by the way...^_^

Another thing God has been showing me recently is that we have two options in every situation. We can either choose to sin, or to love Christ. Every single circumstance in your life is an opportunity; and too often, we don't take hold of them. And it's not that this is legalistic or anything, on the contrary, God wants us to take hold of these opportunities for our own sake (and of course ultimately for His glory). But every circumstance, every crossroad, every decision we make is a chance for God to mold us a little more into the image of Christ. My question is, how often do you "see" the opportunities. More and more God has been revealing the opportunities to me. It's like God stops time for me, and says, "here Mark, what will you do, which path will you take? Will you let me work in and through you?" God has been speaking to me much more loudly recently, and I am deeply thankful for it.

That's all for now. As always, your prayers are always welcome for me, and I once again, appreciate all the encouragement and support I've recieved from everyone!

By the way, I just listened to a sermon by Anthony Bradley today! A rockin' sermon at that. I love his enthusiasm for Christ, and his willingness to be bold for the sake of the Kingdom. Check out his sermon: http://www.summitfamily.org/audio/node/1524

Prayer

2008-08-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

I've always liked writing and expressing my thoughts on issues. But I've also always told people that I'd never publish a book because I'm sure that years later I'd disagree with a good portion of it.

College definitely taught me that the more I learned, the less I actually knew. And I think this is true with our relationship with God in a certain way as well. The closer we grow with God, the more we realize our unworthiness. That's what God's been teaching me recently. That I need to change so much. I live with constant dissatisfaction, and it's hard to always pinpoint why. But I think a large part of it stems from sin in my life that God wants me to deal with.

And then I just heard a sermon that really made me think hard about who God is, and the nature of prayer. It was based around Christ's prayer sessions at Gethsemane. 3 times Jesus prayed to have "this cup" taken from him. Did Jesus repeat himself because he thought that maybe if he kept asking, God would change his mind? I don't think so. He did it because he needed to pray that many times, for that long to work it out with God. He just needed to talk to God that much about it, so that the Father would get him "through" the situation, not "around" it. And that's what the sermon was basically about. That prayer more often than not, a means by which God gets us through situations, not around them. God might not cure your cancer, but he can get you through it.

And then I thought about our expectations of God. Are people who really do pray, "Your will be done?" Or do we just tac that on for insurance. Is our ultimate desire to see God glorified and his will done on earth?

Then I got to thinking about my last film, "Got a Light." My big question that I was asking in that film is what do you do when things don't work out? What do you do when God doesn't answer your prayers. And this is the final answer to the film. It took me a year to realize it, but I think if I had to remake the film, I'd end it with the lead character saying, "Your will be done!"

God is good!

2008-08-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

I really heard something very wise today in church. I used to go to a Bible Study for about 4 months last year, but they stopped having it (I think they're starting them back up soon). Anyway, the guy who let us use his apartment for the Bible Study is leaving Korea to go back to the States. He was a really great guy, and I really respected him a lot. He had such a great love for God, and he just exemplified what a man in Christ should be like. Anyways, I went to say goodbye to him today at church, and he said something that just totally set me free of a lot of worries. First he gave me a lot of encouragement that he saw God working in my life and that really meant a lot to me, and then he asked me what my plans were. I told him I really didn't know and it was something I needed prayer for. And he said, "I don't know if it's hit you yet or not, but at some point in your life, it's going to hit you that your purpose is all about God, and you will no longer worry about your future, but wait in eager anticipation for what God has next in store for you." And I've always believed that to be true, but for some reason the way he said it, and hearing it from someone else that way made it really fresh for me.

Worrying is my weakest point in life. Everything worries me. The absence of worrying worries me. That's how bad I am. But I know the Bible tells us not to worry about anything, for God is in control, and he loves us. And I no longer want my life to be governed by my worries, but governed by an excitement in God's redemptive plan. I want my zeal for Christ's work to be contagious (sp?). I want every day to count for Christ as if it were my last. I want a Matrix like awakening where I stand before my fears, and realize once and for all that Christ has conquered it all. That Christ is bigger than every situation that comes my way. I want my life to be defined by love.

No more waiting for the right circumstances. Today is the day to live for Christ.

So yeah, on a different topic, things in Korea are great. I had a great weekend of swimming and amazing food. I constantly am thanking God for all of the amazing friends that He has brought into my life here, and I totally resonate with C.S. Lewis, that friendships make a place what it is. Korea the country is a great place, but I define Korea through the people I know here. And that's why I love Korea so much, because I love the people in my life here.

With that in mind, I still couldn't have been happier with my trip back to the States. It was so refreshing to see all of my family and friends from back home. I'm so thankful to God that he gave me a safe and wonderful trip, and I thank God so much that I have people that love me and are praying for me in multiple countries. That's so cool to think about.

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good!

Back in Korea

2008-08-12T07:39:00.001-07:00

I'm back in Korea, and everything has picked up again very well. I'm very happy to be back, and I'm praying that God will continue to bless and teach me here. It's late here and I'm pretty tired, so I'll just stop now, but I'm promsing to write more very soon ^_-!

Traveling back to Korea

2008-08-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well, as I'm typing this blog post, I am sitting in Terminal E in the Philadelphia airport, waiting for my flight. It's 8:45 AM, on Thursday in the U.S., and my flight doesn't depart till 11:07 AM, so I figured I might as well get a one day WiFi pass and surf the net while I'm waiting. I had a great break, and I'm also looking forward to getting back to Korea.

Please pray for safe travels and that my Visa renewal process goes smoothly and quickly. I am so thankful to God for giving me the opportunities he's given me so far. I pray that he will continue to bless my endeavors and make me grow through them. Thank you to everyone who has supported me and prayed for me. I couldn't have done all of this without your constant support and love.

Well, once again, I will try to commit myself to writing in this blog more frequently. I want people to hold me to it. Also, I want people to hold me to studying Korean more diligently. The next time I write, it will be in South Korea. I'll miss everyone back in the States, but I know this is what God wants me to do right now, and I'm so thankful for all of the great people in my life in Korea as well. No matter where I am, God is the same, and he brings great people into your life no matter where you are in the world. ^_^

Under Water

2008-07-19T05:12:00.000-07:00

The waves are crashing down around me, and I just pray that God refines me while I'm under water...

Piper's Passion

2008-07-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

I think, at this point, John Piper is probably my favorite pastor to listen to. I listen to his weekly podcasts usually on Itunes, and you can also find all of his stuff at desiringgod.org. It's definitely worth checking out. I found this video clip of a sermon of his that really I think is a great summary of his passion and zeal for God to be glorified. Piper I think, I could be wrong, but I think he's in his 60s now, but he still preaches with the same power, if not more power than he was 2o years ago. I hope you enjoy it:

Jumbled thoughts

2008-07-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

I was reading through Ecclesiastes this evening, and something really struck me. As I was reading through all of the things Solomon (a man more qualified than most of us to speak on such topics) found meaningless, and I came to a sad, some satirical conclusion. People (specifically those dealing with investments and money) who are only concerned about making money in life, are in fact, the most foolish investors on the planet. Perhaps even more so than the man who loses everything on a gambling addiction.

Now I'm arguing strictly from a logical standpoint here. If, one day, you are going to die, and you can't take anything with you, and you have no hope of any kind of life after death, why would you spend an entire lifetime, with all of your blood sweat and energy, trying to gain wealth. It is the most foolish investment ever. There is absolutely no return in it what-so-ever. And isn't a return the ultimate goal of something. You put something into an investment, and you expect to get something out of it. But those who have no belief in God, or at least no concern for God, and just blindly live their lives acquiring riches, in the end, have no return in sight.

And the sad thing is that many of these people will admit to this flaw. Relating back to my earlier post on Dawkins, Hitchens and the other prominant athiests, and I reflect again on the utter hopelessness of their position on life. How can so many people be blinded to the bigger picture. All of these things that so many fight for, live for, die for, are ultimately, without God, completely meaningless, a chasing after the wind. I guess it's the power of sin that blinds people to the bigger picture.

And we also have countless examples of very high profile celebrities who attest to the fact that all of their fame, fortune, and glory has brought them nothing but bitterness, loneliness and depression. The equation that most people use to figure out their lives has proven to be false. Because they say money, pleasure, and selfishness = happiness. But time and time again, it shows that that equation leads to everything but happiness.

Reading through Ecclesiastes, it seemed like the teacher was a really jaded, kind of hopeless guy through most of the book. But in reality, he's the only one who gets it. His eyes have been uncovered to a reality without God, and it's utterly meaningless.

But thankfully, God is alive, God is the source of everything, and because he reigns, we can find meaning, joy, pleasure, hope, and satisfaction in everything he has given us. From the smallest, minute thing like picking up cigarette butts (quoting Kunkle's 12th grade Apologetics class) to being President of a country, all of these things find their ultimate, and highest meaning in God. Praise God that Solomon came to the right conclusion at the end of Ecclesiastes, and it is my prayer that God would open more people's eyes to the futility of living a life apart from God, but also to the surpassing greatness of living a life in Christ Jesus.

On another side note, as some of you may know, I've been struggling to understand what I should do with this whole film path I had set out for me. Recently, I've felt many of my desires for a life in the film business fade. For starters, I don't really like being around other people in the business. They come off as arrogant, intimidating, and just plain annoying most of the time. Now that's not everyone, but you can spot a film maker when you see one, and unfortunately, those qualities shout in my ear when I meet most of them. Now this could very easily be my fault and not theirs, but either way, it's something I need to think about since if I did go into the business, I'd have to deal with these types of people all the time. Either my attitude needs to change, or I need to find a very special group of film makers to work with.

Another reason I've been having doubts is because I've realized that maybe, just maybe, I'm not very good. I'm always EXTREMELY sensative about people watching my movies. Probably about 70% of the time, people I show my movies to show a big sense of disinterest. They show it by talking during the movie, getting up to go to the bathroom without asking me to pause it, or just by finding the food in their hand more interesting than my film. And needless to say, I get hurt very easily by these things. And at first, I thought people were just being insensative. Well, guess what, me telling people they hurt my feelings isn't going to pay the bills. The fact is that if I'm going to make a living off of my films, I need to make movies that people will be interested in, and I don't know if I'm cut out for that.

But.................but but but, I haven't given up all hope yet. Recently, I've seen some really great films that have sparked the passion in my heart again. Of course, most of them are Asian films. Ones such as "My Love" (South Korea), Portrait of the Wind (Japan), Syndromes of a Century (Thailand), and "The Chaser"(South Korea), have shown me that movies still get me really really pumped up.

So we'll see where it all goes, but please pray for me that God would show me some direction in that area^__^

2nd Perm

2008-06-25T07:38:00.001-07:00

So my first perm wasn't very curly, and after a week, it was basically straight again. So we called the lady who permed it, and she very graciously offered to do it again for free. I practiced a lot of Korean while she was perming it too, and even though my Korean's really bad, it gave me a little confidence that I can carry a barely comprehensible conversation^^. I think this one is better, and it's definitely more curly. You can decide for yourself ^_^

The Spirit at work through "Kung Fu Panda"

2008-06-21T07:23:00.000-07:00

So today I saw Kung Fu Panda, and I got to tell you, it was really good. It was everything I could have hoped it to be. I wasn't really expecting that much, so I got a lot more than I bargained for. It was funny, incredibly entertaining, gripping, and filled with so many great and hillarious action scenes. Overall, definitely an A movie that's great for the whole family. I definitely recommend it.

But really the only reason I felt it blog worthy to discuss, is because of how much God showed me through this seemingly paper-thin comedy. The whole movie is about this Panda who loves Kung Fu, but is by far the least likely candidate for Kung Fu greatness. Well, there's supposed to be a "chosen one" (like every Western take on a martial arts film), who will become the Dragon Master. And "Po", the Panda, by a sheer accident, or so it seems, is prophecied to be the chosen Dragon Master. Everyone, including his own master, doubts him, and everyone at the Temple tries to make him quit.

And worst of all, a seemingly unbeatable foe is headed their way to take the dragon scroll that can only be read by the Dragon Master. Well, I won't ruin the whole film for those who haven't seen it, but you can guess where it goes. And on the surface, it doesn't seem like much maybe, but about 3/4 of the way through the film I felt a great emotional surge, and I felt like the Spirit was working in my heart.

I realized, that just like Po, God chooses the weak to lead the strong. God uses the most unlikely candidates, to do the most powerful things for the Kingdom. Po in the film, was really helpless on his own. There were five other Kung Fu masters who despised him, and yet they could not do what he did, because they weren't the chosen one.

In the same way, even though there are many many people out their so much more skilled than us, we are still a royal priesthood. We are children of God. We are a "chosen" people. And for that reason, we are meant for great things. And watching the film, I got really choked up thinking about how much love God has for me, that he would choose me.

You know I'm sure everyone walked out of that theater wishing that they had some special "destiny" for themselves, where they would be the "chosen one." Christians and non-Christians alike. And it's sad that non-Christians don't realize that greatness awaits them if they accept Christ. And it's also sad that many people who are Christians don't realize the significance of their lives.

I hope and pray that God would continue to reveal his purpose for my life. Whether it's to become a Kung Fu master (which I highly doubt), a film-maker, stay an English teacher for 20 more years ^__^, or something else; I am desperately seeking guidance in my life at this point, and Kung Fu Panda gave me hope that in due time, God will reveal the next step for me.

On another note, last Monday I got my hair permed. I think it looks pretty good, but it's not very "permy." In fact, almost nobody even noticed it. I'm thinking to get it done again, and I think they won't charge me since it didn't really do much the first time. We'll see, but anyway, here's a picture of it anyway. I think it looks pretty good, but can you tell it's a perm??^__^

David Bazan, so fascinating and so confusing

2008-06-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've been listening to a lot of David Bazan (Pedro the Lion) recently, and he's such an amazing artist, and such a complex one as well. Back on my xanga site, I wrote a big post, that was somewhat critical of Bazan, even though I hadn't heard much of him. But it seemed like he wasn't exactly the best role model of what a Christian singer should be.

Then I saw him in concert, and I changed a lot of my views. First of all, I liked his music. My friend Jeff had played his CDs in the car sometimes on the way to and from Geneva, but I didn't really like it that much. But when I saw him in concert at Geneva, I really liked him a lot. He was also so friendly and funny. And his songs just had so much spirit in the way he sung them. I could tell there was a lot to this man.

Now, I like his music more and more I listen to it, but I still don't know what I make of it all. It's definitely not the happiest music, and he's got some pretty heavy stuff in his songs. He also is very obtuse in his thoughts on Christianity. He says a lot of contradictory things it seems, and it seems like he still has a lot of stuff that he's working out. He definitely isn't church friendly in his choice of language, that's for sure, and after reading a bunch of his interviews, I get the sense that he's a very jaded guy in general.

But with all of that said, I love his music right now, and he's just a very veyr interesting person to me. I wish I could sit down and chat with this guy, and know what the deal is. I want to know what God has done in his life, because I'm sure it's a lot, but it's hard to know how Bazan percieves it all.

Well, without further introduction, here's a couple links to youtube songs that I think are a good representation of him:

First song: Bands with Managers:

Second song: Priests and Paramedics:

Third song: L'Amour Stories (Deerhoof cover)

Hard-hitting story

2008-06-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post I found on John Piper's website: http://www.desiringgod.org/

I was really hit hard by this story, and it really makes you re-evaluate how you view God, time, and your perception of life. This is a powerful example of Holy Spirit doing some amazing work in people's lives. I personally don't know how they did it:
(picture added by me. And soon, some great pictures of some great trips are coming up ^__^)

The Wonder of "Idiotic" PerseveranceJune 9, 2008 By: John Piper Category: Commentary

In his book, Passion, Karl Olsson tells a story of incredible patience among the early French Protestants called Huguenots.

In the late Seventeenth Century in… southern France, a girl named Marie Durant was brought before the authorities, charged with the Huguenot heresy. She was fourteen years old, bright, attractive, marriageable. She was asked to abjure the Huguenot faith. She was not asked to commit an immoral act, to become a criminal, or even to change the day-to-day quality of her behavior. She was only asked to say, “J’abjure.” No more, no less. She did not comply. Together with thirty other Huguenot women she was put into a tower by the sea…. For thirty-eight years she continued…. And instead of the hated word J’abjure she, together with her fellow martyrs, scratched on the wall of the prison tower the single word Resistez, resist!
The word is still seen and gaped at by tourists on the stone wall at Aigues-Mortes…. We do not understand the terrifying simplicity of a religious commitment which asks nothing of time and gets nothing from time. We can understand a religion which enhances time…. but we cannot understand a faith which is not nourished by the temporal hope that tomorrow things will be better. To sit in a prison room with thirty others and to see the day change into night and summer into autumn, to feel the slow systemic changes within one’s flesh: the drying and wrinkling of the skin, the loss of muscle tone, the stiffening of the joints, the slow stupefaction of the senses—to feel all this and still to persevere seems almost idiotic to a generation which has no capacity to wait and to endure. (116-117)

So much updating is needed^__^

2008-06-08T06:26:00.000-07:00

Ok so there's a lot I need to update people about. Mainly just by putting up a lot of sweet pictures, because I've been going to a lot of sweet places recently:)

But quickly I just wanted to say goodbye for a while to my friend Hyun Gyu (he's the one on the right of the picture. Hyun Seok's on the left). I met maybe 2 months after I came to South Korea, and he's been a great friend to me. I met him at church, and he's been going to the English ministry with me. He's taken me to a lot of cool places. We went to Jeon Ju together, where he attended college. We also went to Gyeongbok palace and Seonyudo. He's been one of many guides to Korea, and I've been very greatful for his friendship.

On Tuesday, he's going into the Army. Every male in Korea has to go to the army at some point, and now Hyun Gyu's going. It's definitely sad to have a good friend leave, but he's actually excited to go, so I'm happy for him. And hopefully I'll see him again someday.

This reminds me of how much God has blessed me with so many great friends here. People like Angela, Hyun Gyu, Hyun Seok, Song Gu, and so many others have really been great blessings in my life, and I'm so greatful that God has put them in my life.

Coming soon updates: My mountain trip and one also one of the best Saturdays I've had here ( a bus tour to three great spots with friends!! (complete with pictures :) )

What famous people are saying:

2008-06-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

I think it's important for Christians to know what people are saying against us. There are a lot of voices out there that are criticizing Christians. But they are in a bigger sense, criticizing all religions, but they tend to single out Christianity since it's the dominant religion in our society.

Figures such as Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, Bill Maher, and George Carlin are all very outspoken in their disdain for religion. Both Dawkins and Hitchens have written best-selling books that try to convince people that atheism is right, while Maher and Carlin use comedy to try and prove why they think religion is so stupid. These guys are voices for a lot of people these days, and I think there's a lot of hostility right now towards conservative evangelicals in the U.S. I find it very interesting and troubling at the same time listening to these guys speak. There whole life seems centered around trying to disprove God, and we should be aware of it. Just as Paul argued with the philosophers of his day, we should also be able to give good reasons for the hope that is within us.

The thing I find very interesting, is that all of these men rehash the same arguments over and over again, and most of them are pretty weak arguments in my opinion, and they show a clear lack of true understanding of the Bible. For being so smart, these men have failed to properly analyze the data properly. As Christians, we should know the arguments being launched against us.

First, Dawkins and Hitchens try to pit science against religion. They are convinced that God has no place in the "age of reason and science." Even though anyone with a pair of eyes can attest to the majesty of God in creation, these men are convinced that all of this beautiful creation is the result of a pointless accident.

Many of them also have a catholic background, and it's clear that they hold a very big grudge. Both Carlin and Maher have said identical things, somewhere along the lines of, "I used to be Catholic until I reached the age of reason or logic." They all boil religion down to praying to a "space daddy." And they are very angry about what they think religion does to society. Maher goes so far as to say that every person who has a religion has mental problems. But I'd say these two men are more agnostics than atheists.

And one of the big things these men love to do is to take the Bible completely out of context. They love taking random verses out of the Bible and judging them in a totally out of context fashion. Maher complains about how violent the Bible is, and how it shouldn't be a moral guide, and yet, in the next breath, he'll admit that Jesus is the best role model of all time. He's not even consistent in his arguments.

They also all look at sin in the world, and blame God, instead of blaming humans, which they should do. They are right in assessing that the world is messed up, but their cause and solution to the problem is totally off-based.

These men are all very intelligent people, I can't deny that. And yet, their intelligence faulters in so many ways. They have complex and ironic arguments, but in the end, their foundation is clearly off, and everything they build it upon crumbles. I find that these people are only preaching to the choir. They love trapping jaded, angry agnostics into the same propoganda over and over again. I've heard a lot of what they say, and it's the same thing over and over again, and it's not well-thought out.

And all of these men have a god. It's first of all, themselves, and secondly, reason. The worship their own abilities to think. And yet, all of their energy and efforts fail to bring them any real joy or hope. They have no answers for the big questions of life. They only have complaints. They have no solutions, only questions. And they fail to recognize all of the glory of God that is right before their eyes.

My prayer is that some serious Christian thinkers would start becoming as big public figures as these other men are. My prayer is that God would take the scales off of their eyes, and show them their errors. My prayer is that loving Christians would show Jesus to these men, and that they would stop using their efforts to try and bring down the Kingdom, but instead, use it to glorify God.

Seonyudo

2008-05-25T06:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I just decided to go for a nice afternoon trip an island and take some pictures. It's a park on the Han River called Seonyudo. It's so beautiful there, and the walk there is quite nice as well. I get to walk across a bridge on the Han to get to the Island

The Island, I believe is some kind of water treatment place. You would think a place like that would smell bad, but this place was anything but that. It was a little slice of beautiful nature amidst a city with very little green to be seen:

It was a good day!

Even though it's late...

2008-05-24T03:39:00.000-07:00

So about a month ago, my parents visited me in Korea. It was such a blessing to have them come here. They stayed in Yeouido, one of the nicest areas of Seoul in my opinion. Probably the two things they did the most while they were here was eat, and ride the subway^__^. But that's ok, because that's pretty much all I do here as well, so it gave them a good idea of what life is like.

But I tried to be a good host, and I think I showed them a good time. They got to meet a lot of my friends here in Korea, they came to visit my work, went to church with me, and I took them to some of the key tourist spots (two palaces, Seoul Tower, the cheongyecheon, Myungdong, etc...)

They really adjusted very well to the Korea lifestyle, and I think they felt very comfortable here. They even got to see a traditional village on a guided tour, something that I haven't done yet. They also liked most of the food a lot, which is good, because that's probably one of the things people remember most about visiting foreign countries. Overall, it was one of the highlights of my time in Korea. Being able to show my parents my life here, and how much I've learned was really a great blessing for me, and I thank God that they got the chance to come out here.

Oh and in other news, I'm officially staying in Korea for another 6 months after August, but I will be home for 2 weeks probably sometime around August. (And the picture on the right is just so amazing, I had to post it ^__^)

Ok...i know

2008-05-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I'll be posting again hopefully soon, about my parents visit to Korea! But I have a nasty cold right now and it's late, but I just thought I'd let you know, that this time I mean it, I'll start updating more frequently....

Updates

2008-03-09T00:39:00.000-08:00

Well, God continues to teach me things about myself, others, the world, and life in general. We've started a new semester at school, and I really miss the kids that graduated. They come in the afternoon now after elementary school, but I don't teach their classes. But I'm glad they've moved on, and I am enjoying the new kids I've started teaching now, but nothing can replace the joy of the first students I taught, since I learned and grew so much through teaching them, and because they were just such good students, they can never be replaced. Continue to pray that God gives me the grace everyday to teach well and to represent Christ to these kids.

Recently I've been so busy that my Korean studying hasn't been as good as it should be these days. You can also pray that I'll get more motivated and back into studying it, because I can already see it leaving me the more I put it off. 나는 나쁜 학생입니다. (that's pronounced - naneun napeun hakseng imnida, which means: "I'm a bad student).

On Thursday, I went with my friend and finally saw the film "My Blueberry Nights." It's the first and perhaps not the last American film that Wong Kar Wai, perhaps my favorite director, made. I didn't know what to expect. It didn't get great reviews, and Hong Kong directors have a history of making terrible movies in America. But overall, I was happy with the film. It definitely had Wong Kar Wai's stamp all over it, but perhaps a little too much. He homaged himself way too much in the film, but still, it was engaging, and it was very easy to connect with the characters. This is a trailer for the film:

One thing the film definitely impressed upon me, and something I've been hearing in sermons recently, is the issue of pain. And how pain and bitterness completely imobilize us from doing God's work. Pain and Idolatry, as Anthony Bradley pointed out in his talk at the Jubilee Conference this year, are the two major sources that keep people from being missional Christians. And I don't mean "missionaries"necessarily, but simply missional in the sense of actively and purposefully serving God in a real, effective, and perhaps risky way. Because we so often use pain as a crutch, we are never willing to take risks because we've seen what risks have done to us in the past.

My Blueberry Nights really hits on the subject of pain, rejection, and loss. And for me, it's hard to know what the right way to deal with it all is. Wong Kar Wai doesn't give answers in his movie, he just poses the problems for the most part. In the Bible, I think it's clear that God can use us in our weakest state to do the greatest things. That it's in our most painful moments, that Jesus will show up. But why then, for so many Christians, does the pain linger on. Why does everyone have that area, or those areas in their life that are just too painful to talk about. Why does everyone have their kryptonite, that if you poke that right area, they'll crumble. Is it because we haven't responded to Christ correctly? Is it just another effect of the fall. How much can we expect to overcome pain in this lifetime, before Jesus returns? If we still have bitterness and pain in our lives because someone hurt us, is that a sign of unrepentent sin?

I've been thinking a lot about this recently, because I've been thinking a lot about my generation of Christians. And not just my generation, but all Christians. So often, we as the church, want to show the healing power of Christ, but why then are our lives not evident of that healing process. I think I need to go back and read the "Healing Path" by Dan Allender again. And this isn't to say that I'm in a particularly gloomy, or hurt state. I'm not. I am quite content here in Korea, but in general, why is there so much pain in the church?

I've been pondering this new movie idea I have, and I want it to deal with a struggling Christian. I can't think of a movie that has this topic at the center, besides perhaps "The Apostle", and I've heard that "21 Grams" deals with that issue too, but I haven't seen it. But I feel like many in the church are neglecting their own people. There's a lot of pain going around, and I don't think people are dealing with it properly. Maybe it's because people don't know how to, or maybe it's because people have been told that it's sinful to feel bad, so they repress it, pretend like it's not there. But the topic has been on my mind a lot recently, so I think I'm going to start writing a script about it. Obviously, it will take place in Korea! Whether or not I'll ever get to make it, who knows. But maybe this will be the big film of my career.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Do we as Christians not deal with pain in our lives the right way? Does the church just need a good cry? What does it mean to be "joyful always"?

I do know that I've come to understand that if you set your mind on Christ, you are freed from the bondage of circumstances. That when we truly find delight in Him, no matter what the circumstances, we can have cause to rejoice. But while I fully believe that's true, it often is very hard to put into practice.

Wow, I don't know how I got on this tangent. Anyway, yeah, things are good for the most part, thank you all for your prayers, I appreciate every single one of them, and pray that God keeps blessing and teaching me in Korea, and that I will continue to serve Him in every way that I can.

Philippians 3:7-11

2008-03-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

This passage is one of my favorites. When I read I can't help but shout amen. It just speaks so much amazing truth, that I get choked up when I read it, it's so beautiful. But feeling all nice inside is different from being changed by it. And I wonder how much this passage reigns true in my life. And if I do have the same desire as Paul, how is that being played out in my life?

I've been getting challenged right and left recently and I think God's trying to tell me that I'm supposed to be doing something. Something that perhaps I'm not doing right now. I'm not exactly sure what that is right now, but I think I have a holy discontent with the way things are right now, and I'm trying to put my finger on why God has been convicting me so much to be more active in His kingdom work. I don't know what this is supposed to look like in my life right now, but please pray that I will go boldly and confidently wherever God leads me.

And now a random clip from x man, from the best part of the show entitled 당연하지 (which in English means, "Of Course"). In the game, people have to say something about you, and you HAVE to answer back with 당연하지, and if you can't say that, you lose. In this clip, Tim (he's actually a pastor's son from Philadelphia), takes on Park Myung Soo. Tim can speak perfect English, so Park Myung Soo decides to have a battle in English and it's hillarious!!

1/2 a year so far...

2008-02-24T06:03:00.000-08:00

So, in three days, I will have been in Korea for 1/2 a year. Wow! I don't know how to think about that. I guess in some ways, I think I've been here much longer than that. I feel like I've been here for 10 years, and that I have friends here that I've known for 10 years. In other ways, I feel like time is going too quickly, and I don't have enough time to do what I want to do here, or be with the people that I want to be with. I don't know. It's all very confusing for me right now. But I need to just trust God. He's gotten me through the first half of this first year, he can get me through the second half (and maybe more years to come in Korea:)).

Recently I've had the urge to draw. I'm not sure why, but what I do now is a pause a movie, and just draw whatever the screen is. It's really relaxing and fulfilling, but maybe I could spend my time doing something more productive, like learning more Korean ^__^

Oh well, that's all for now, just a short little message before I go to bed.

I'll leave you with two videos: The first is another Driscoll clip, this one on American idolatry, pretty interesting, but perhaps not new to those who understand culture and how it penetrates out lives:

The second video is the trailer for this really independent film called "Quiet City." It's one of the front runners for a new style in American cinema called Mumblecore. But in reality, this "mumblecore" ...genre has been around internationally for decades now, and most of the Asian directors that I admire so much (Wong Kar Wai, Hou Hsiao Hsien, Pen ek Ratanaruang, Takeshi Kitano) are all pioneers of this style, it's just that American won't recognize it until we start doing it ourselves. Also, I'd like to think that this is the style that I most likely fall into as a film maker. Or at least would want to make films like. I'd like to see this film if I got a chance, because it looks a lot like things I have made, and projects I'd like to make in the future:

서비스 (Service)

2008-02-19T04:48:00.001-08:00

In Korea, it's called 서비스, which is pronounced (seo-bee-su), which is Konglish for the word "service" in English. When you are either buying food, or eating out somewhere, and the person says 서비스, it means they are giving you FREE FOOD! And it happens more regularly here than you might think.

Just tonight, I was with my friend in 구로 시장 (the Guro Markets), and she was buying 삼겹살(think of it as really really thick huge peices of bacon) for her family, and one of the butcher shop guys started talking to us. And because I was a foreigner, he gave us free meet. And just the other night, I was at a food court, and a guy who works at the Chinese restaurant gave me free shrimp. I've gotten service a fair amount since I've been here, and I joked to my friend that now I know what it feels like to be a really hot girl in the United States.

It's kind of a weird sensation being treated differently as a foreigner and minority. Sometimes I really enjoy it, other times I just wish I blended in. Never in my entire life combined, have I been called handsome so many times, or been told that I have a really small face. Also never before have children so blatently pointed at me and whispered to their mom that they see a 외국인 (foreigner).

It's funny, because it doesn't even really phase me anymore. I used to be very self-conscious of all of the eyes, but now I don't even notice them. I used to think that everyone either loved me or hated me for being different, now it just doesn't seem like most people care. Overall, it's definitely an experience like no other, and I can't complain with free food!

And recently I've been watching a lot of John Haskell's youtube videos. He's a friend that I used to go to high school with. He's got a sense of humor like no other. Just recently he's put up this episode series, and it's really awkward and funny. He puts clips from his real standup routines in the series, and at first I didn't know they were real routines. It's a really funny series. Here's the first episode, you can see more on his site:

Tired...

2008-02-11T05:09:00.000-08:00

I'm really really exhausted. Exhausted from work, people, stress, worrying, and everything else. I just want one carefree week where I just chill...I need to start exercising again, I think that's my biggest problem. I'll get started on that soon.

In another totally unrelated matter, did you know that over 350 million people in China smoke? That's more than the entire U.S. population. That's a lot!

Ok well, as you can probably guess, things aren't perfect, but all in all, I'm doing pretty well. I can't really complain, God is still good all the time!

Random video clip for you that all 2 of you who read this may find edifying:

전주 (Jeon Ju)

2008-02-04T04:45:00.000-08:00

This weekend was pretty fun. On Friday I went with some friends to a jazz club in Hongdae. It was really hip and sweet. I really love jazz, and in a hollow way, for some reason I felt important being there, like I was part of the elite. Not that that really matters, but still, it was nice to be in such a classy place.

Then on Saturday, a friend from church took me outside of Seoul to where he goes to college in a place called Jeon Ju. He showed his college campus. It was a really modernized campus, and actually, the church I go to (onnurri) is foundational church of the University. Here's a couple of pictures to of the campus.

Then we went up to the library, and I got some great pictures of the city and surrounding area:

After that we went downtown to grab a bite to eat, then we met up with one of his friends. The downtown area reminded me a lot of Myungdung or parts of Anyung. Here's a couple pics to show what it's like:

That's my friend giving a funny but nice pose right before we caught the bus to go back.

Then on Sunday, after church, I met with a friend and went to a really really classy, nice tea place. This was like the fanciest cafe type place I've ever been to in my life. We had two things of tea, and one slice of cheesecake for $20 basically, so that tells you how nice the place was. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera at the time or you can be sure you'd be seeing pictures of it.

So overall, it was a great weekend. Coming up, the Lunar New Year! Yay for three days off from work!!

Ben I never knew

2008-01-30T06:04:00.000-08:00

Well, writer, actor, game show host, clear eyes guy Ben Stein has come out with a new documentary that looks very interesting. Finally, someone in the media standing up for intelligent design. This looks pretty good guys. Let me know what you think!

Random food for thought

2008-01-29T05:09:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a sermon, and I heard quite a humorous statement. It was only humorous because it was so so true. So often, as Christians, we tend to give too much credit to ourselves. We think, look at me. “I” have done a lot of great stuff for Jesus. “I” have done this for my church. “I” have given my money in this way. But lets look at the reality of the situation. Everything good thing in life is ultimately a gift of grace from God, and since he is the source of all that is good, He is the only one who can really take credit. Here’s the analogy that I just love. If we are ever tempted to feel like it is by our own abilities and power that we serve, look at the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. One boy had a simple lunch box, and Jesus in his great power turned that simple, small offering into an enormous blessing. Then think if a bunch of people came up to the boy and said, “Wow, that was great! Tell us, how did you feed so many people?” The only logical, rational response to that could be, “I don’t know, it wasn’t me, it was all Jesus.” And yet how many times do we take credit for things in our lives that we know are all because of Jesus’ great power.

Expect more posts from me hopefully

2008-01-26T06:28:00.000-08:00

So I've been thinking, and I should be blogging more than I am. There's so much to tell, and I haven't given the people what they want. I think it's cuz I only wanted to say what was truly important and interesting to people, but now, I'm just going to treat this the way I did my xanga. I'll write about tons of stuff. I'll post random video clips again, say how my day went, and post the ocassional philosophical post.

So today, I went to see Cloverfield with Youn Gi Young (for those of you who have seen my film Twin Dragons, he's the good guy twin in the film ^__^). Man, Cloverfield was by far the loudest movie I've ever seen in my life. But it was also the most realistic, engrossing, and shocking monster film I've ever seen. If you are planning on seeing this movie, you MUST go see it in the theater. It would be a great injustice to watch this on anything but a 300 inch screen (I'm not really sure how big theater screens are ^__^)

This weekend I met a lot of new people. I met this one couple that a co-worker introduced me to. They were really nice people, and they might be able to show me some more traditional Korean sites. I also met two of Gi Young's cousins. And on the subway back today, a random guy started talking to me. And 9 times out of 10, if a middle-aged man comes up to and starts speaking English with a big grin on his face, it usually means he's drunk. But this guy was actually a pastor, so that was cool. And with all of these new meetings, basically, none of these people spoke much English at all. So it was a great chance for me to practice my Korean.

Which is another update. for the past 2 months, I've really kicked into gear with studying Korean. I study for about an hour a day now, and I'd say I've greatly improved. I'm still very bad, but I can talk about general things now, and can interject in a conversation ocassionally now. I still have a long way to go, but I'm happy with my progress right now.

Since I don't really have much time to show videos of my trip here, I can at least share some videos of Korean culture. This is a clip from a very funny Korean variety show. All the people on this show are big celebrities in Korea, and they basically come on and do really goofy things. In this clip, they have to re-enact scenes from famous TV shows, while changing it up a bit. The thing I find so hilarious in this clip is how much this one guy, Park Myung Soo, overacts. He's known for always yelling, and it's hillarious in this segment. He's the guy in the pink shirt that keeps getting slapped. Let me know if you think it's as hillarious as I do.

2008-01-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

You know, when I left college, people asked me if I would miss the friendships. I said, yeah! Of course! I made so many amazing friends at college. And yet, now, I’ve been in South Korea for 5 months, and I’ve practically lost touch with all of them. What does it mean? Were those friendships really that hollow? People say you can only really have a few close friends. I tend to think that’s generally true, mainly cuz we only have so much free time on our hands. But also, it’s just tough living a double life.

I’ve got to live my life in Korea, with my friends here. But then I also have to keep friendships maintained on the other side of the world as well. And right now, I feel like if I don’t maintain them, they’ll vanish. It’s kind of scary, but I’ve realized that the facebook messages and emails have been dwindling and now I really don’t see any from friends now. I don’t really know what that means. I still maintain hope in my friendships from Philly, just cuz most of those guys are like brothers to me, and I’ve known them like my whole life.

But my friends from college I worry about. I mean, I made some tight tight friends there. Some friends I were sure would be life friends. But maybe college was just too ideal of a place. It was easy to make great friends because you were in a setting that allowed it. You didn’t have to drive to see anyone. Everyone either lived with you or right across the hall from you. You ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner with all of your friends, and you partied with them on the weekends. It was a friendship paradise in that sense. But did anyone else notice that during the summers, that all of the contact just stopped. During summer vacation I didn’t talk to people from school much at all. Then I went back to school and everything picked up where it left off.

The minute that those college friendships left the context of “college friendship paradise,” they fell apart. So it’s no wonder that now that we’ve all gone our separate ways, the friendships would not stay. If I wouldn’t drive 10 minutes to see friends that lived off campus, why would we call each other when I’m on the other side of the world.

I write this not because I’m angry, or necessarily even sad. I’m not blaming anyone, or feeling betrayed by anyone. It’s just the way things go, but I guess I’m surprised that it’s been this abrupt. I thought maybe I would fall out of contact after a couple years, not a couple of months.

To prove my point, I wonder how many, if any Geneva people even read this blog.

Relationships are complicated…

눈 (snow...)

2008-01-18T07:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up one morning last week, and it was unusually dark in my room. I thought it might have raining that morning, but I didn't give it much thought. When I went out of my apartment at 8:45, I noticed an unfamiliar site. The cars, trees, and small patches of the road were lightly coded with snow. It didn't really stick to the roads, but it made it look really beautiful outside. But it melted after a day or two...

I'm not sure why, but it made me somewhat nostalgic to see it...

Merry Christmas from Seoul

2007-12-24T06:02:00.000-08:00

Here I am, in Guro-dong, in Seoul, on Christmas Eve. I have never spent Christmas away from home before, and I feared that part of me would become really sentamental. And I guess part of me is. I've got so many loved ones and friends back in the States, and I miss them all. I want to open presents around a Christmas tree. I want to go to a Maple Glen or Grace Baptist Christmas Eve service. I want to do all of the things I've done every year. But I can't now, so what do I do?...

Here is Guro-dong, where I live, tonight on Christmas Eve:

As you can see, things are packed. There are traffic jams everywhere. Everyone is trying to get home for the holidays.

People have been shopping non-stop for the holidays, and I've definitely done my part in that shopping madness as well. One really cool area in City Hall is called Myung-dong. It's always so crowded and so hip:

To anyone reading this from Geneva, or anyone who's seen my film "Twin Dragons", you'll recognize my good friend Youn Chi Young ("Chi" for short) in this picture. We went to a restaurant in Myung-dong that is famous for a noodle soup called "kal-gook-soo." It's so famous that after we finished eating, there was already a line of over 40 people waiting to get some of this soup. It definitely reminded me so much of that Seinfeld episode.

Here's Chi:

and here's one more random picture of me at the Cheon-gye-cheong ^__^:

So yeah...what am I doing this Christmas? Well, I'm spending it with friends this year. It's kind of weird. Usually, when I think of Christmas, you just automatically think family. But in Korea, Christmas is very different. Most people spend it with someone they're very close with (like boyfriend/girlfriends). So a lot of people kind of hang out on Christmas day. I'll be spending my night at a Christmas party at my church. It should be fun.

Today at school (Christmas Eve) I dressed up like Santa Clause and got to give presents to every kid. It was a lot of fun, but so tiring. And even though most students knew who I was, it was still nice to have so many kids look so happy to see me.

I was afraid of feeling alone this Christmas, but I know I have so many people thinking of me back home, and I also have so many people that care about me here in Korea too now. God has truly blessed me so much with many great people here in Korea. Have a great Christmas everyone, with much love from Seoul,

Mark

Long time no read...

2007-11-22T05:45:00.000-08:00

I saw a Korean Woody Allen today... it was a good day.

It's been so long since I've talked to everyone from back home. There are so many people who facebook me and stuff asking, "How's life in Korea?" It's so hard to know what to say to that? Part of me wants more people to ask me, are part of me wants to just not answer them. And so far it's been the part that doesn't want to answer that's been controlling my life.

I'm really not sure why I don't keep in contact with people. Part of it's laziness I'm sure, part of it is just that it's hard to say how life is in a simple message. Life is complicated. It always is. Being in Korea has so many levels to it that it just seems impossible to start explaining how things are here. In some way, it's obviously totally unique and different from anything else I've ever experienced. In another sense, I feel like this is just like home, just in a different country. Maybe that's because even if you leave everything you knew behind, you're still the same person no matter where you go. And God is also the same God here as He is in the States.

I'm very confused about this though. I've historically been bad at keeping in touch with people that I'm not in direct contact with. When I was at college, I never called friends from back home, and when I was home, I never called college friends. Why? I don't know. I love all you guys. Please forgive me for this. I truly miss all of you guys so much. You are the people who made me who I am today. You, my family and friends, are with me here in Korea because you have shaped who I am in so many ways. And I apologize for not keeping you guys more informed about everything.

Have a great Thanksgiving everyone. I'm missing you guys more now that the Holidays are coming up. Much love from Korea goes out to everyone in Philly and Pittsburgh (and any other random places that people maybe ^__^)

City Hall, what a sweet place

2007-09-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

So on Chuseok day in the afternoon I decided to check out what City Hall was like in the day time. Well since it was Chuseok, it was a happening day. I got to check out some good traditional music, dancing, and performance. And I got to go into a temple in the middle of City Hall for free. Here's some pics to show you how beautiful this place really is.
I just love how you can see these beautiful mountains right in the middle of the city.

This is the Cheonggyecheon, a creek that flows right through the middle of the city, and is supposedly amazing during Christmas time.

This is the grassy area (one of the few you'll see in Seoul, where all the performances took place. It was a a really beautiful day, but also really really hot.

The entrance to the temple.

No explanation needed for these next pictures. Just sit in amazement at the beauty, and also at the perplexing contrast between old temple structures and high rise skyscrapers in the background. I think it's pretty cool.

Happy Chuseok Everyone!

2007-09-23T02:05:00.000-07:00

I've got a 5 day weekend now because of one of the biggest holidays in Korea, Chuseok. The American equivalent to Chuseok would be Thanksgivinng. Everyone travels to see their family and has huge meals. At school on Friday, every single kid, and I mean every single one of them dressed up in traditional Korean clothing called Hanbo. It is some of the most colorful clothing I've ever seen, and I got to take pictures with many of the kids in their traditional clothes. We played traditional Korean games, had a tea ceremony, and I got explain the history of traditional Korean masks. It was a lot of fun.

I just got back from a two day trip to Busan, which is aboutt 5 hours away from Seoul, on the opposite side of the country. I went with my good friend from New Zealand Ivan, and it was great to just see the country side of Korea and a different city as well.

This is in Seoul Station, where we caught the KTX trainn to go to Seoul. It was a very nice train, and the seating made me feel like I was back on an airplane. I read an entire book on the train their and bus back called "teusdays with Morrie." A very very good book, that I'd definitely recommend to anyone. That's also probably the fastest I've ever read a book (with maybe the exception of Jayber Crow).

This is a picture I took from the train. Most of South Korea is mainly mountains, but also a ton of farmland as well. It reminded me of my trips from Philly to Pittsburgh.

When we first got to Busan, we had pretty cool view of the mountains in the background. Unfortunately for the first half of the trip, I was having digestion troubles from some very spicy chicken from the night before. Eventually, the pain subsided though, and I had a great time.

We first went to a place in Busan called Haeundae, where we went to a beach that was pretty cool. Unfortunately it was so windy that it was like a sandstorm there.

Then we went down to city hall where we ate a Vietnamese place. It was really nice food, prolly the best I've had in Korea so far, but it was haha, a little more expensive than we thought.

So now I'm back in Seoul and we've got 3 more days of vacation woot!!

Where I live

2007-09-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

Alright, I don't have much time to write stuff, but I just have so many pics I just gotta put some up. So heres some photos to get an idea of where I live in Guro!

My apartment!:

Outside my apartment and work:

Downtown Guro:

About a week and a half in

2007-09-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

I'm lovin' it in Korea right now. I've been teaching for 4 days now and I really enjoy my classes. I'm teaching 7 classes total. 3 seven year old classes, two 8 year old classes, one 11 year old class, and a 6 year old class. The kids are all so nice and affectionate. The first day I got there they were already happy to see me calling me "Mark Teacher!!"

Seoul is incredible and massive. Coming from Philly where you can be in and out in 20 minutes makes Seoul seem like a giant. It can take up to 2 hours (subway) to get from one part to the other. The place is huge. I've live in a nice, somewhat busy area of Seoul called Guro, and it's not the flashiest place, but I live right next to the subway, and all the great places to go are only 20 minutes away at the most.

The food in Korea so far has been amazing. Half of the restaurants I've eaten at are called "galbi" restaurants. At these places you fry up your own meat right on the table. It's pretty sweet!

Public transportation in Seoul is also incredible. It's so cheeeep and soooo efficient. The subway and buses are always on time, and you'll never wait more than 5 minutes for another train to come by. The picture of the subway station here is at like 12:00 PM, right when the subway is about to close. We caught the last possible train. Usually the subway is JAMMED. People fight tooth and nail to get off at the right stop, but it's fun!

One night, after some galbi, we saw some street performers that were pretty cool. It was all interpretive dance. But it attracted a pretty big crowd!

I've already made a lot of great friends through my co-workers, and I've also reconnected with some old friends! It's been only a week and a half and I already feel like I've done so much. Oh, and I just got back from an ice show of the Nutcracker! Pretty fun.

And just for fun, here's a picture of me singing my heart out at a Norebang (kereoke room)

A Preview of Things to Come

2007-08-31T09:11:00.002-07:00

I wanted to upload this photo b/c I was so proud of it. But many more photos to come once I get a good selection:

A Preview of

2007-08-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

Finally here

2007-08-30T02:06:00.000-07:00

I've been in Korea for about two days now, and there's just so much that's already happened that I can't organize my thoughts right now to even begin to tell you everything. I'm gonna take my camera with me when we go out tonight, so once I get some pictures, I'll get you guys updated. And trust me, it'll be a long one because I feel like I've already been here for a month with all of the stuff I've already experienced. It's been very difficult in many ways, but it's also been so exciting and fun that I'm very glad I'm here right now. Aight, that's it for right now, many, many, many more details to come.

Some thoughts before leavinng

2007-08-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

I officially have less than a week before I leave for South Korea. And I’m starting to get nervous. Real Nervous! But I’ve been excited for so long about this, and never really nervous about it, so I guess it’s only fitting that the nervousness is finally kicking in.

I’m sitting in my den with my new laptop watching my #2 movie of all time: “Millennium Mambo.” One of the things I like so much about this film is that it’s all about this girl leaving her bad situation, and struggling to find a new life. Now don’t get me wrong, I love it in Philly. I always have. I’m going to miss it so much. I’m going to miss my family, my friends, my work, my school, everything. But at the same time, a see a bright future ahead of me and I’m trying to take hold of it.

At this point, I really couldn’t justify staying in Philly. I don’t want to get into the film industry at this point in my life (maybe later). And there’s no other jobs I’d want to have in the area. I also don’t want to keep living with my parents (even though their great), but I couldn’t afford to just rent an apartment right now either. So this job in Korea seems like the best thing for me right now.

And more than anything else, I know it will force me more than ever, to rely on God. It already has in so many ways. I’ve had a lot of hassles trying to get everything worked out for this trip, and it’s made me just totally rely on Christ to get me where he wants me to go. And I’m ready. I’m ready for a change.

But I will need everyone’s prayers! I know this job will challenge me in ways like never before, and I’m sure at times I’ll be incredibly home sick. That’s why I’ll need all the support I’ll get. Please pray that I like my job and am halfway decent at it. Pray that I find a good church there. And pray that I stay strong in Christ and represent him well wherever I go.

Here’s a pic I took with my “new camera J ” of some great guys I’ve spent this summer with. I’m excited to post many more pictures with new friends I make when I get there, and hopefully with old friends as well that I meet up with in Seoul.

What this blogs about

2007-08-08T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, just wanted to let you all know that this blog will consist of pictures, videos, and hopefully many exciting stories for me to tell. I'll definitely get a video of my apartment, since that is like the thing to do on youtube (So many videos of people's aparmtents in Seoul). I'm so close guys to leaving it's scary.

Time for a change

2007-08-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

Alright, this blog will be dedicated to my stay in South Korea. Hopefully you guys will enjoy reading this and keeping in touch with me!