Why food?

Have you ever wondered why Adam and Even fell by eating? Why did God set that up as the parameter. Why didn't God tell Adam not to kill Eve, or not to lie? Why such a random thing as eating? Clearly Satan had already sinned at this point, and Adam and Eve had the capacity to sin it would seem. And yet, they hadn't sinned yet. I wonder, before the curse, the state of man's heart. After the curse, we are all now depraved, incapable, apart from Christ, anything but sin. But in the garden, pre-curse, Adam and Eve had no sin in their lives; yet they were capable of it.

This idea I must admit is quite confusing and perplexing to me. Could, say, Adam have killed Eve? I seem to think not, sense at that time, God saw no need to warn Adam of such a sin.

God also made everything good. What does that mean in relationship to Adam's capacity to sin? In his good state, he must have had the capacity to choose evil. He wasn't condemned until after eating from that which God forbid. And equally so, God would not have warned Adam unless there was a danger that Adam might have picked the apple. If Adam weren't capable of sinning, it seems irrelevant that God would warn him. It would be like God warning us not to sprout wings and fly. It's an irrelevant warning since we lack the capacity to do so.

So what does this mean about man's ability to choose something for God, or not. What does this mean about the goodness of God's creation. I mean, God said, it was very good! Those are God's standards, not ours. So that must mean that it was VERY, EXTREMELY good! And yet that goodness seems to have allowed man with the ability to sin. It allowed Satin with the ability to sin as well.

This also brings into question the intent of the original creation, and the intent of the new heavens and the new earth. I don't believe that anyone will ever sin in the age to come, but will we lack the capacity to sin? Why won't there be sin? Well, one thing that is obvious is that we will have glorified bodies and appetites like Christ. We won't be wired for sin at that point. Which seems to me then, that our glorified state will be much better than the original state of Adam before sin. Maybe that's obvious to you, but I'm just trying to work logically through these issues.

Once agian, I don't mean to say that God's original creation was somehow flawed, but at the same time, it does seem like the new heavens and new earth are going to be much different than the original creation. There are other things that point to this difference as well. The fact that Jesus will be our sun, so we will have no need for an actual, physical sun.

The difference to me, seems to come down to a pre-cross creation, and a post-cross creation. In the center-piece of all reality is the cross, then the original creation from the beginning, was not intended to be the fullness of God's glory. It doesn't mean that it wasn't very very good, it just wasn't everything that God had in store. The original creation I believe leaves soooo much room for the cross, and was created for the very purpose of the cross; mainly to display the glory of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Thus, sin had to be part of the equation of the original creation. Without sin, there's no cross. And this gets into a huge, incredibly mind-boggling debate about God's ability to ordain that something be without actually being responsible in any way for that action coming to pass. I don't intend to get into that now, but to merely say as I've been taught, that the Bible sees both as true, and has no problem with that seeming contradiction. As a man of the book, I'm prepared to have no problem with it either (that statement or sentiment did not come easy to me. It's taken me maybe 5 years to say that, and I'd be lying if I said I will never have to come back and go over the argument one more time in my head).

Now I've gone off on a tangent, and I've left little room for my purpose of writing this post. Mainly being, "Why the apple?" And I think the apple is the representative sin of all of mankind because it reveals to us the nature of all sin. Any good church-going person who's heard enough doctrine would agree that the route of the first sin, that of Satin, is pride. And it is this same pride that Satin uses to tempt Adam and Eve. Pride doesn't want to submit to a higher authority, but wants to take charge. Pride leads in one main direction, as it relates to God. It leads to distrust. It leads to doubt. Only a prideful person would doubt their maker. No one humble would have the ego to do such a thing.

When I look my own sins of doubt and disbelief, it's hard at that time to say it's pride. I wouldn't say, at first, that pride leads me to doubt God's plan for my future. If anything, it seems like the opposite. How can pride lead to a lack of confidence? Usually the most arrogant people are the most proud. So how can I say that pride is the route of doubt in God? I say that because the moment you say that God can't do something, you put the responsibility on your own shoulders. The moment you doubt God with your life, the only place you can place your life's burdens are on yourself. That's exactly what happened with Adam and Eve. They thought, maybe God doesn't know what's best for me? Maybe I should eat that apple and see what all this good and evil is all about, they acted out of pride in their own judgement over God's supreme wisdom. And isn't that the nature of every sin.

The best example of this sin is shown in our appetites. And thus, food is the symbol in the Bible. Our appetite tells us to eat that last piece of pizza even though we know it's glutony. Even though we know the Bible says something different, we think our judgement is somehow better. And this could be any appetite. Whether it's an appetite for food, fame, sex, money, respect, the list goes on, we all make decisions out of pride that says we know better than God what's best for us.

I've been reflecting a lot on the wisdom and loving nature of God as I've been reading through Deuteronomy. The law, in case you haven't noticed, in the Old Testament is pretty strict, blunt, and often harsh. I think anyone if we're honest would say at a first glance, God seems a little extreme in his decrees. And we would all probably go about listing off in our heads the ways we would do things differently. But the more I read the law, the more I see it's all out of love that God commands the things he does.

First, there's a ton, especially in Leviticus and Numbers, about cleanliness. I think a lot of this is just really practical. Touching dead people is not a very healthy thing to do. And God wants his people to be healthy. In Deuteronomy, God keeps relaying to Moses to say, "Be careful to obey all these words that I command you, that it may go well with you and with your children after you forever." God here is saying, "this is good for you." I don't give my laws to hinder your lives, but to make them better. Any parent or caring teacher understands this concept very well. And God knows that we won't get it on our own, so he has to lay down very very strict boundaries because we're so stupid at times. Lastly, I saw in Deuteronomy, over and over again, the warrants for death. They're all over the place. After every warrant for death, Moses ends with, "So you shall purge the evil from your midst." God knew how deadly and infectious sin is, and he knew that any source of sin must be cut off immediately. God's tactic against sin was all out war, and we should have this ame attitude in our own lives towards our own sin. We shouldn't let it meander. We must kill it, we must "purge" our bodies. If sin is like cancer, it will effect our whole lives and eventually destroy us. No good doctor is going to let a little bit of cancer just stay in the body. The surgeon's job is to get ALL of the cancer out of the body. And the most devistating news you can hear after a surgery is, "we didn't get it all out." It's the same with God's attitude toward sin in Deuteronomy. If you understand this principle, I think the Old Testament law makes much more sense, and is perhaps easier to deal with. Obviously, we must always remember the theocracy they were under at the time, and the Old verse New Covenant differences. But even so, God is immutable, and we must take God for who he is in the Old and New Testament, and love and worship that same God!

Fighting for Reality

A couple years ago, I shared a devotional with my fellow staff members at Carson Simpsons Farm, the summer day camp I worked at for four summers. The devotional was based around the plot of the matrix, and I tied that into a biblical view of life. And the more I live my life, and see how God works in the world, the more parallels I see with that film and real life. Now obviously anyone who has seen the movie and done even a bit of research will want to tell me that the creators of the Matrix borrowed from many different religious and philosophical schools, and the film is in no way a truthful, correct Christian movie. And I understand those objections. But even so, it's almost, dare I say, providential that God allowed this film to be made. I don't think it's coincidence that so many Christians see the biblical nature of the film, and I wouldn't be surprised if I heard of hundreds of testimonies as to how the Matrix was a tool God used to draw them to Himself.

Now why am I bringing up the Matrix so randomly. It's been a while since I last watched the film. But my life, and particularly my reflections and meditations on God have led me to conclusions that seem strikingly similar to the themes presented in the Matrix.

The big theme I see over and over again in the film, and in life, is the struggle to control, and dominate the mind. Our thoughts. There is very little we do, in a moral sense that is, that doesn't pass through our minds at some point. Our mind is the source of all our actions, the ones that will be judged that is. It is the gateway or channel by which the gospel of Jesus Christ is recieved. Without the mind, we can not process what we hear? And if we can not process the gospel truth through our minds, then we can not possibly say that we have any capability of accepting that truth.

Romans 10:14 "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"

There are three questions raised in that verse where the mind is an essential and implicit factor in salvation. We can't believe or make any sense out of our hearing without a mind to interpret and respond to the message. I wonder how often Christians think about the vital role that the mind plays in a Christian's life. Usually I only hear about the heart, our deisres. Now people may want to debate the relationship between our heart and mind, but scriptures seems to find some difference between them.

Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'..." Why would he make an effort to make a distinction between the heart and mind if they were the same thing? Why make sure to mention both? I wonder if it's because so often we neglect the spiritual health and vitality of our minds, thinking that they don't play as serious of a role as our hearts perhaps.

Now to say that the mind and the heart are two seperate functions of our being does not mean that they act independently of each other. On the contrary, the very interwoven nature of the two is why it is so utterly crucial that we take time to nurture, and care for each. When one suffers, so the other does as well. It's similar to the body and soul relationship. We do not deny that our physical health has a direct correlation with our emotional status. When I'm healthy, I'm generally pretty happy. But when I'm sick, I'm generally prone to depression and distrust in my circumstances.

Thus it goes with the mind and heart as well. As I've mentioned before, our heart is so crucial to our faith. A faith or trust in God that has no affection for Christ is dead. A mere head-knowledge of our savior and Lord will bring no one into the kingdom. The heart must be fought for. But how is that fight waged? How do we bring our hearts into conformity with the gospel? How do we come to love the things that God loves, and hate the things that he hates. How do we see him each day as more beautiful, and more satifying that all of the temptations that scream in our ears from morning till night. I believe that this war is largely waged on the battlefield of our minds.

Our minds, if you like imagry, are perhaps like filters to our hearts. The mind only lets the heart engage with what it will allow it to recieve. The heart reacts to the things our minds are engaged with. If we engage our minds with only trivial ideas and matters, the heart has very little to work with there. And yet, the heart must love. The heart must ache for desires. The heart must attach itself to...something. And thus, if you only feed your heart with garbage, the heart will learn to love that garbage. The heart will see that garbage as food to nurish itself, unaware that that filth is slowly destorying it. Speaking at least personally, the heart to me seems pretty stupid, while the mind tends to be the more intelligent partner in this relationship. There's a lot of things I know in my mind, that I just can't seem to get my heart to go on board with. At the same time, there are a lot of things are know are pretty stupid, and yet my heart tells me that these stupid things are of the utmost importance, and all-satisfying.

So, if we recognize the weakness of the heart, we must take some huge steps to helping it out. Now, please let me clarify something here. When I say that the heart is stupid, I don't deny the fact that when Christ enters the heart, the heart immediately gets incredibly wise beyond all nature, and affirms the truth that Jesus is all satisfying. But with that said, the heart is still so easily swayed by sin. So I just wanted to clarify by saying that I believe that every human heart, at it's core, understands that only Jesus can satisfy it's deepest longings and desires.

Now back to the fight. Basically the point of this blog is to awaken us to the fact that for the sake of our hearts and minds, we must fight to see REALITY each and every day. Now what do I mean by reality? I would like to break up reality into two subcategories. The first one would be "normal reality," or "seemingly tangible reality." The second category I would like to present would be "ultimate reality." The clearest example I can see for this is in the gospel of John. Over and over again, Christ makes this distinction between the seemingly tangible reality, and ultimate reality.

The first example is with Jesus and the woman at the well. He says to her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you(H) living water." 11The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? 12(I) Are you greater than our father Jacob?

Then later he tries to explain to her one more time, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of eternal life." Then the woman responds to him by saying, "Sir,(N) give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water."

So twice Jesus explains to her about the living water, and both times she misses it. Jesus also talks to Nicodemus about being born again, and Nicodemus questions about the logistics of how someone can "physically" be born again. He asks Jesus if someone can enter into their mother's womb a second time. And then again in John 6, Jesus refers to himself as the bread of life, but all the people want is physical bread for tomorrow. Then once he starts talking about having to eat his body and drink his blood they say that that's just way too difficult for them and most of them walk away.

John gives us three very concrete, clear examples of how people so often miss ultimate reality, and only go as deep as the surface realities. Now as learned, well-read, enlightened 21st century Christians, many probably would mock Nicodemus, the woman and the disciples saying how foolish they were not to see the obvious truth behind Jesus' message. And yet, I believe we are probably more guilty of this error than any three of them were. And I believe we are guilty of it each and every day. Let me explain how.

Let's just clarify two things here really quickly. When I say "ultimate reality," I'm referring to Jesus. When I say "normal reality", I'm referring to everything else. Our health, relationships, work, hobbies, clothes, appetites, everything. Now I will not go on to say that "normal reality" is bad or should be avoided. Not at all. But never-the-less, it isn't ultimate, and something that's ultimate should by the very definition of ultimate, be of greatest importance.

But there's a problem we face. While Jesus is the much more infinitely valuable reality in our lives, he is much much smaller and seemingly unattainable than the normal realities of life. No matter who you are, I think if people were honest, it's much easier and quicker to respond to and act on our desire for the hamburger, than it is to go read our Bible and spend time with the ultimate reality, Jesus! It's much easier to devote large portions of our day to seeking our trivial information like gossip among friends, catching up on the football games, or watching the Simpsons (that last one would be me), than it is to meditate and study the scriptures.

And it's because Jesus is smaller in our lives than he should be. And to some extent, understandably. We can't see Jesus. We can't touch Jesus. We can't audibly hear his voice. And yet we can see people, movies, friends, advertisements, posters, billboards, and so on. The fact is that normal reality is so easy to grasp and attain, and understand, but ultimate reality is so difficult to get a hold of and understand.

And if normal reality is much easier to understand and experience, it will also be that much more easily satisfying. It will seem that much more immediately gratifying. But if ultimate reality is more hidden, where we see it through a glass darkly, it becomes that much more difficult to delight in and take pleasure in.

But here is the paradox. Jesus, ultimate reality is INFINITELY more to be desired and satisfying than all other reality. He is a fountain of pleasure that satisfies the soul in deeper ways than anything else could ever do. He is more gratifying, and more delightful than every single normal pleasure combined. In fact, normal reality was created for the very purpose of pointing us to the ultimate reality. And the pleasures of normal reality were created for the sole purpose of pointing us to the ultimate pleasures that are only found in Jesus!

So we have this paradox at work. The biggest reality in the world often seems like the smallest. And the reality that often seems the least desirable, is the one that is most fulfilling. Let's go back to John for a moment.

Those people were totally set on normal reality. All they wanted was food and water. They could care less about eternal truths. The screams of normal reality were so loud, that the ultimate truth of Jesus was inaudible to them. Their minds' filters were blocking out all eternal truth, so their hearts weren't getting any of Jesus.

In the same way, we too are so often held back in our desires, because our minds are focused on the wrong things. I believe the Christian life is all about a struggle each and every day to see reality as it really is. To see Jesus! We have to fight to see Jesus everywhere we go and in every moment of our lives. We need to fight to see Jesus in our homes, at work, at restaurants, at movies, and dare I say it even at church. Because there are million small realities that we don't have to fight at all to see every day that can come to the forefront of our minds, and completely block us from seeing Jesus in clear view.

And if our minds can't see Jesus, how will our hearts ever grow in affection for him? My encouragement to you today would be to fight for desiring Jesus, and to fight for your heart, with your mind. What is your mind's energy being spent on? Could it be used more wisely? Could you be feeding your heart with better things?

Now let me just preface one more time by saying clearly that I have left out the crucial factor in all of this, and that is the fact that our mind CAN NOT percieve ultimate reality without the Holy Spirit allowing us to see Jesus for the ultimate reality that he is. We, left ourselves, are blinded by sin to ultimate truth, and we literally can not see it apart from the saving work of the Spirit. But I say this more to Christians who have already had their eyes opened, but now fight each day to keep them open.

(Note: If you've seen the Matrix, hopefully this post made some more sense in light of the ideas the Matrix talked about.)

Redeeming Battle Rap

Earlier I posted a couple blogs about some Christian rappers that I was listening to, and over the past year or so, I've continued to listen and get more encouraged by their ministries. Many of these guys live in Philly, and many of them go to, and preach at Epiphany Fellowship, which is one of the churches that I podcast every week.

Recently I came across a video that just blew my mind away. For many of those who are reading this, you might need some background explanation. First, in the title, I used the term battle rap. Basically, battle rapping is when two rappers go against each other in a freestyle contest (meaning they are making up their lyrics on the spot, no preparation). Now I have to admit, that I've seen many battle raps on TV, and actually one in person in Philly once, and they are pretty impressive. These guys can just come up with really incredible, intelligent lyrics on the spot. They've got some incredible gifts and talents. Unfortunately, the problem with battle rapping is that it's almost always used to insult the other rapper in often a very degrading way. So most of the battle rapping I've seen has not been glorifying to God. But, as any good cultural analyst would point out, you can't say that just because medium isn't used correctly, that we should just throw it out.

And those are the same feelings of these Christian rappers in Philly. They saw the ligitimacy of battle rap, and redeemed it for Christ. What you will see in this video is "Christian battle rapping." Basically what they do is keep the format exactly the same, even the insult part of it. It's two rappers competing against each other, seeing who can say the better line to shut down the other person. It's almost like a lyrical debate in a sense. But the premise is that one rapper is "Christian" (like in Pilgrim's Progress), and the other rapper is "Sin." So the rapper playing "Sin" talks the way sin would talk, and basically trying to bring the Christian down (similar to CS Lewis' Screwtape), and the other rapper playing "Christian" heaps on all of the victory of Christ against sin.

You have to watch this video, it's amazing, and so awesome to see these guys redeeming culture where they're at. I love and respect these guys so much, they are totally on mission! This clip is only part one of 4 parts, so if you want to check out more, you can go to youtube to check out the other parts.


The guy wearing the Phillies jersey is named Shai Linne. I've actually posted a video about him before, but I can't stop giving him props, he's just the man!

He's so reformed and unashamed of it, and he preaches difficult, high level catachism in his lyrics. If kids were listening to these guys more, they'd have a better understanding of biblical theology than most people in the church these days I think. Check out the lyrics to one of Shai Linne's songs, they're on this video. He uses some big words here that I still get mixed up on sometimes. You have to go to the youtube site to watch it because my blog cuts off part of the screen, so you can't read all of the lyrics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RUciHVpCbw

Trusting the Lord (QT sharing)

So in my daily devotions I've been reading through Numbers, and I find as I read the Old Testament, there's often such an untapped reservoir into the character of God. You learn to fear the Lord, and also want to praise him so much more by reading the Old Testament. But I'm sure everyone is already aware of this, so I won't waste my time preaching to choir on the importance of immersing ourselves in the Old Testament.

But one thing that really stuck out to me was in Numbers 13-14. In short, it's the passage where the spies are sent into Canaan to see what the promised land is like. They come back to the Israelites and all of them except Joshua and Caleb gave a despairing report of what they saw. They reported how the people in that land were much stronger than them, and that there was no way for them to overcome them. Then the people began to grumble and say how it would have been better for them to stay in Egypt. God's response to this lack of faith and trust in the Lord is quite strong. God basically says to Moses that he wants to strike the Israelites with pestilence and disinherit them for their lack of trust, and he'll allow Moses to start over with making a new nation. But Moses intercedes for the people, and God doesn't disinherit them, but he does end up killing all of the spies except Joshua and Caleb. He also extends their wandering for another 40 years.

And as I read this passage, I thought to myself, "this is all due to a lack of trust in God." The extra 4o years and all of the death is due to a sinful anxiety on the part of the Israelites. Now let's put ourselves in the position of the Israelites before we write them off as fools who should have trusted God. The people in Canaan were much stronger than the Israelites, so by mere human strength, they couldn't win. How often do we judge a situation without once consulting God? How often do we make choices while forgetting that the God of the universe is on our side, working all things for our good?

I found myself reading these passages with a humbled spirit and honestly an ashamed one as well. More and more, God reveals to me my unbelieving, untrusting, forgetful heart. More often God shows me how much I'm relying on my own strength, and putting no trust in him.

Now people always talk about trusting God. But I find usually we talk about it in an either light manner, or as merely something that would be beneficial for us to do. And the Bible obviously sees it as beneficial for us as well. Passages like Matthew 6:25-34 and Philippians 4:6-7 are some of the most comforting passages in the Bible, and I'm sure these are passages that many of us have memorized (or at least a paraphrased memorization).

But if you look at Numbers 13 and 14, and Mark 4, we get a different side of the trust coin. In Mark 4, when we look at the parable of the sower, we see that when the seed falls on one of the bad soils, the truth is choked out by the "cares" or "worries" of this world, and that makes the soil unfruitful. Do we really recognize the warning being presented in this passage? That worrying and anxiety leads to unfruitfulness. Then if we turn to John 15:2, Christ is clear that the Father cuts off any branch that doesn't bear any fruit. Do we see the concrete contrast between a Christian and one who is swept up in anxiety and worrying?

And looking again at Numbers, I see the seriousness that worrying is as a sin. We generally I don't tend to think of not trusting in God as a sin, but obviously God sees it as a very serious sin, a sin that's worthy of death. Usually like I said earlier, trusting in God seems like an added bonus, but not a necessity. But on the contrary, trusting in God is what faith is all about. Without a deep-rooted trust in Christ, you can not call yourself a Christian.

Now that might be obvious to most people. Obviously we have to trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins, but how often do we trust in him for the daily cares of our lives? How often do we trust God with such a serious matter such as our eternal destiny, but think that he can't handle the next couple weeks of our lives because of some important decision we have to make.

This hits me hard as I think about my battle to make a decision about next year. I really want to go to seminary, but then I think about all of the bad things that "could" happen, and all the things I'll be giving up by leaving Korea. Now this is not to say that I shouldn't make a wise, informed, well-thought out decision, but am I making this decision in the blanket trust of God. Am I bringing my petitions before God like in Psalm 25 and 32, that he will counsel me in the steps I need to take? I can't honestly say that I've done this well. One of my biggest sins is in this very area. I don't trust people, or God easily. But this doesn't make me any less responsible to do it, and passages like Numbers let me see this issue in a new light; and show me how offensive this sin is to God.

May we all seek to trust God more for everything, because I honestly think if you say that you trust him with the big things (like salvation), but you can't practically trust him for tomorrow's food, there's an imbalance there that needs to be examined carefully. That's what I'm seeking to examine in my own life now.

Urgent Prayer Request

Please pray for my health these days. Since I've come back to Korea this past August, my health has been pretty bad. I can't really remember the last time I've felt that great. It's just been one thing after another and I don't know what to do about it. I'm extremely frustrated by the whole situation and don't know how much longer I can handle the pressures of work and all of the other responsibilities I have with my declining health. Please pray that God will give me a huge boost of strength to finish out my contract here in Korea!

I'm becoming a biography buff

I've realized in the past 2 months or so that I'm becoming a biography buff. I love biographies. They fascinate me to no end. They not only fascinate, but they also encourage and inspire! Now this is actually not a new thing for me when I think about it. In past years, my focus of biography was on movie directors. I struggled to find everything I possibly could on the directors I loved most. I bought books, watched interviews, read critiques, and studied their films endlessly. I think I have a tendency to latch onto some object of research, and then seek to attain as much knowledge from it as possible. First, it was movies. Recently, it's been Christian biography. I've been listening to a slew of a lectures by John Piper, each about an hour long, with 30 minutes for Q & A afterwards. They are so interesting. Since I'm not a good or fast reader, these lectures have been so beneficial for me, because I get a good amount of important details on the lives of these men, some great commentary and applications, and most importantly I've been able to see the similarities and also the differences between so many amazing, godly men of the past.

Some of the men I've learned about are C.H. Spurgeon, George Whitefield, Bill Piper, Andrew Fuller, Athanasius, William Tyndale, John Newton, John Bunyan, St. Augustine, John Calvin, Martin Luther, John Owen, J. Gresham Machen, William Cowper, Martin Lloyd-Jones, and Jonathan Edwards. Piper just reads some biographies about these men, and then each year at the annual pastor's conference, he gives his reflections on the biographies he read. These men are so graciously used by God that it's really hard to even consider or imagine yourself among that list. In fact, apart from the grace of God, I would say, near impossible. Now someone like William Cowper who would never put himself in that list is another story. His is perhaps the most heart-riveting, disturbing, and challenging story I've listened to yet. Cowper was a man who struggled with dibilitating depression his entire life, survived literally dozens of suicide attempts, suffered 4 major, life threatening attacks of depression that sank him into utter darkness, and yet he is a man responsible for some of the most glorious hymns ever written. He wrote hymns like:

"GOD moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm."

and...

"There is a fountain fill'd with blood
Drawn from EMMANUEL's veins;
And sinners, plung'd beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains."

If God can use a man such as William Cowper, I think there is hope for literally anyone. The thing that people like C.S. Lewis, and Lewis' benefactor Piper often point out is that biography and reading the writings of the past are incredibly important because they give us a frame of reference that is outside of ourselves. We can't see our own blindspots in our culture today, so when we look at writers of the past, they merely had different blindspots. They can see things in our culture that are clearly wrong that we never would have had eyes to see ourselves, and we see things in their culture that seem so blatently wrong but to them, they were unknown. Someone once said that it would be just as perfectly fitting for us to read works of the future, the only problem is that we can't get our hands on them, so we'll have to make due with works of the past.

I think this principle is so true, and I cherish it. Particularly looking at the life of the puritans, you see a kind of raw, survivalist Christian rigor that is simply impossible to attain in the lives we live with such comfort and triviality. Now I don't know if this means that we should even try to immitate that sort of lifestyle since the circumstances won't permit it and they would perhaps not be as beneficial as they were at the time, but that note of caution is but a small whisper in my head compared to the clear, audible scream in my ear that cries, "We need men like the puritans TODAY!" We need their view of God and life. Just for me, to get tastes and glimpses of their perspectives on life have been incredibly beneficial for me.

I hope, when I get the time, to purchase some of these biographies and study more about these men, their lives, and their published works.

The Phillies made it, AGAIN!

Wow, this is amazing. The Phillies are in the world series again! Two years in a row. Back to back. What an amazing accomplishment...

And where am I? I'm about as far away from all of it as you can get. On the other side of the world. Where not one person has told me. Where not one soul has mentioned how overjoyed their hearts are about this outcome. About how worried they are about facing the Yankees.....and on and on....I'm missing it all. And honestly, it's opened my eyes to something major.

Now what I am about to say is not meant to spoil any joy, kill any fun, or take away from the excitement of the world series. Especially when our good ol' Phils are in it. But I just wanted to share some reflections I've been having recently about this phenomenon we call "sports."

When I went back home in July to see my family and friends for a month, there were many things that I missed, many things that I enjoyed, and also many things that I had forgotten about. One of them is "sports chat." In South Korea, they have sports, but it's much less pervasive in the culture. Teams are not categorized by location, but instead by company. So the Samsung team will play the LG team. Things like that. So needless to say, not too many people care about it. The only thing Korea really gets fired up about is the World Cup. And as for now, I'm not really around for that. So being in South Korea for so long, I forgot how much of American's conversations are dominated by, and often centered around sports.

Literally, basically, honestly, I would say 80% of the people I talked to in America mentioned the Phillies within the first 15 minutes of conversation. It's just classic, "how's the weather?" conversation; instead it's "how about them Phils?" But it seemed so much heavier than I remembered it. And then I realized why?

BECAUSE the Phillies are actually good now! All of a sudden, everyone wants a piece of them. It was in the air went I went home. I could smell the Phillies on people's breath. If the Phillies won that day, everyone was happy and talking about it. If the Phillies lost, everyone was depressed and talking about it. Either way, the Phillies were on everyone's mind.

And in some ways, this seemed to be a good thing. It seems to be a common unifier amongst people. People can have nothing in common, but you mention the Phillies, and they're talking like they were college roomates for 4 years.

When I came back to Korea, I was reflecting on my time back in the States, and I thought about how strange the Phillies environment was to me. Immediately I was reminded of Marshal McLuhan. His famous quote goes,

“We don't know who discovered water, but we know it wasn't the fish.”

People can't see their own blindspots in their own culture. Fish don't realize water, because they're swimming in it. In the same way, people don't realize things that are obvious to outsiders, because they are neck-deep in them. It's how they live. It's the air they breathe. And sports seemed to me to be the most relevant, eye-catching example of this in America today.

Now, what water am I referring to here? Well, let me take a moment and refer you to a Mark Driscoll video clip. Please watch it now, and then continue reading my blog. It's only 2 minutes longs, so please, please watch it now.



Driscoll said, "Your god is your sportsteams, and you build multi-million dollar stadiums to house them."

Now I am no foreigner to idolatry. Media, attention, approval, recreation, things like these are constant sources of idolatry in my life. It just so happens that sports was never one of those idols for me, so maybe it's a cheepshot for me to point this one out, but that's the penalty for the Phillies making it this far I guess^_^.

Now before you start defending yourself, which I'm sure you could do well, and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I would just ask you to take a moment, and think about all of the time this past week you've thought, talked about, researched, or watched the Phillies. How much has it dominated your conversations with friends, co-workers, church members? How evenly balanced have your affections for the Phillies been with your affections for God?

Just in the clip I posted a couple blogs ago, the title was "Test Yourself: Christ or Football?" Do you love the Phillies more than you love Christ? Now this may seem like a patronizing question to some, and I'm sorry if it is, but for me it's earth-shattering and extremely heart-wrenching. I think about all of the time I spent "worshiping" movies. All of the time I spent adoring movies and trying to push other people's affections towards movies. I think about all of the money I gave to movies. All of the time and energy and thought I gave to them. It's shameful for me. It's humbling. It made me completely re-evaluate everything now to the point where I've had to almost completely divorce myself from movies for a while so that I may get my affections straight.

In the same way, you need to ask yourself the tough questions. Because your life will be laid bare when you do. You'll be left with nothing but a plea for the grace of Christ to cover all of your sins. Any shred of self-sufficiency you had will be gone! Any sense of merit before God will be blown away.

I want you to picture a world where every time the word "Phillies" comes up, we replace it with "Christ." What would that look like?

What would unify us?

What would bring us joy?

Wha would bring us tears?

What would dominate our time, conversations, and affections?

CHRIST!

I think about all of the eagerness to discuss sports, and I replace that with an eagerness to share the love of Christ with one another, and the thought is almost too lofty to entertain. Do we see the idolatry in our own hearts? Or are we so saturated by it that it has become the water that we swim in?

Now once again, I don't be to rain on the parade. Continue to celebrate and watch the games. The Phillies winning can only help the city of Philadelphia I think, so in that I rejoice. But I pray that as you watch, and as you cheer, and as you rejoice or lament (depending on the outcome), that you would have Christ first and foremost in your affections, and that he would be the one dominating your thoughts, conversations, and time!

One more video to hit home and the all surpassing greatness of Christ, and the ulimate triviality of our earthly idols.

I should care more

Recently I've been pretty hit with a few striking realizations that in fact, aren't very new or very difficult to realize. The first hit me when I was walking back from church one day. Every Sunday, after church, when I get back to my section of Seoul, I pass some street preachers next to a department store. I don't catch much of what they're saying, but the giant poster with Christ on it and person in flames makes it pretty clear to me what is being talked about.

Now many people I know might look down upon this style of Evangelism. Saying that it's not effective. That it's too pushy. That people don't want to hear about hell, damnation, wrath, punishment, and anger. They need to be wooed into the grace of God. So, I thought, what's the opposite of this street evangelism.

I won't mention any names, but the opposite is the "Prosperity Gospel." So, people in the past have said, "Ok, the whole fire and brimstone thing is out-dated, we need a new angle. How about selling the gospel to people. Cater to their already in-born idolatry and show them how the gospel can give them everything their idolatrous heart needs. Maybe that will bring in some church attendees."

AND THEY WERE RIGHT! The prosperity preachers bring in some of the biggest memberships in all of the world. These preachers write best-selling books, (translated and sold at record-breaking numbers in Korea as well), they're on all of the TV stations, radio stations, and everyone loves them. Even people who don't believe in God tune in to listen to them.

So I guess, they must be right. If it's working, why criticize it...right?

WRONG!

I don't recommend it, but there's this video by one preacher (I'm not mentioning names because I don't want to go down that path of bitterness), where he criticizes the street evangelist saying, "No one is stopping to listen to you." And I thought to myself, he's right. No one is stopping to listen to the street evangelists. When I pass these guys in Korea each week, I never see anyone stopping to listen. But the question is WHY?

Why are millions upon millions of people dedicated to the health, wealth, and prosperity gospel, but no one every stops to listen to the guy telling people about hell? Well, for one, it's only natural. People don't like bad news. Nobody likes facing harsh realities. It's much more appealing to go to the guys promising all of these blessings without any kind of commitment, then to go to the guy who is asking you to take up your cross daily or you're going to burn. So it's only natural for people to go the prosperity preacher.

Secondly, and much more devistatingly, people are blind to the truth. If every day, you wave a 100 dollar bill in front of a blind man, it doesn't matter how clear it may seem to you, he's not going to reach out and grab it. In the same way, no matter how clear the message of the gospel may be spoken in the streets, apart from the Holy Spirit, people will never stop to listen. Then why are so many blind people going to these prosperity preachers? If they're blind to truth, why would they go? Because the prosperity gospel is not the gospel. I've already shown you that Piper clip on the prosperity gospel I think twice now, but here's the link one more time for anyone who's interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s

So anyway, I went on a big tangent, but the point was, about how I felt about those street preachers. I think most Christians wouldn't identify themselves with those people. Saying, those guys seem a little strange to me. But the more I think about it, they seem to me to be the only sane kind of Christian there is!!

If you, as a Christian, know that apart from saving faith in Jesus Christ, a person will go to hell, FOREVER, why wouldn't you be telling people about it daily. I mean, these street preachers seem so similar to the early church. Look at Acts 3:11-26, Acts 2, Acts 5:25, Acts 6:8, the entire ministry of Paul. They seem a lot like street preachers to me. I mean, if you know that Christ is coming back, in glory, and that everyone not saved will ask for the rocks to hide them from the wrath of the Lamb (Revelation 6:15-17), if you look at Luke 16's account of the rich man who goes to hell and then begs to have Lazarus dip just the tip of his finger in water to cool is tongue, if you really believe this to be true, how can we coast through life? How can we?

I don't know what it is? Perhaps it's that we truly don't believe in hell. Or perhaps it's that we have so trained ourselves to run from anguish, that when a "Holy Anguish", that comes prompted by the Holy Spirit, fills our hearts and minds with anguish for the souls of the lost, we just run from it. I'm not sure why I'm so passive towards making disciples. I'm not sure why I'm so scared of making social situations awkward by bringing up Christ amongst non-Christians. I'm not sure why I feel like street evangelism would be the hardest thing in the WORLD for me to do.

And don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that street evangelism is always the best way, or that it's even a good way to do evangelism. I'm still wrestling through that in my mind. I realize that there's a time and a place, and that the best evangelism happens through relationships, not yelling at who are passing by, degrading them and calling them sinners. I understand the rejections very well. But my point is that we keep sitting in the judgment seat of these street preachers, saying how primitive they are, while we have no room at all to judge, because at least they care enough to give it a shot. Who are we to judge on a particular method, when we don't even make an effort to evangelize using any method.

And I just can't escape this desire in my heart to scream to my soul, "WAKE UP! SEE THE REALITY OF ETERNITY! MANY OF MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO HELL! DON'T I CARE?"
I used to be so burdened by this that I fell into deep disillusionment with the idea of God's love, which I have already talked at length about in my blog post on predestination. But now, instead of questioning God when I see the harsh reality of eternity, I now question myself. I question my inactiveness. My passivity. My apathy towards the lost. If your friend had cancer, and you had the cure, wouldn't you want to give it to him?

I heard a really powerful sermon on this by Francis Chan, and he gave the story of this pro basketball player who was a Christian. And he said he kept having this recurring nightmare where he saw many of his teammates going to hell. And his teammates were looking back at him, with their hands in the air, looking at him and saying, "Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me that you knew I was going here, and you never tried to save me from this? You never tried to warn me?"

I don't know...I don't know...I don't know how anyone can coast, or put life in an entertainment mindset when people are perishing right and left. You have to become literally insane to become like that. How was I so insane for so many years? Oh how far God has to go with me. Oh the depths of my own heart. Oh how merciful God is to me not to show me how deep the sin in my life really is. Oh how selfish I am, to think that a Friday night watching a movie is time better spent, than on reaching out to someone going towards the flames.

The Christian life, can NEVER become lazy. Once it does, you've lost touch with reality.

I'll end with a video from an ATHEIST. Just watch, you'll see why I put it up here.

The Sponge...

I recently heard a very interesting, tough, difficult, and yet more glorious aspect concerning the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Recently Pastor Mark Driscoll went to Israel to prepare for a 3 year sermon series on the book of Luke. He went to many of the major areas in Israel where Jesus was, and he took a film crew with them to capture these areas on film. He said he learned something new and incredibly insightful about Jesus on his trip.

At one point, in their journey, they went to an ancient restroom. In there, there were no stalls, it was basically just a room for people to go. As most people probably guessed, they didn't have toilet paper back then. So they usually used water to clean themselves after using the bathroom. But something else they also did was use a sponge to wipe off afterwards. But unfortunately, once hundreds of people starting using the same sponge, some people in turn got infections. So in order to disinfect the sponges, they would soak them in vinegar and sour wine. Does this sound familiar at all?

John 19:28-30 - "Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."

Could it be that this sponge was the same sponge filled with the filth and dirt of hundreds of people's waste? It's discusting to think about, I know. But what part of the crucifixion isn't? Seemingly, in the gospels, this gesture seems to be an act of kindness on the part of the guards, but perhaps not. I don't know about the certainty of whether or not this sponge was meant for that purpose, but what if it was. That the last thing Jesus tasted was that bathroom sponge. And yet, in the midst of them shoving that into his mouth, he said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing." And then right afterwards, to say, "It is finished." That the work of salvation and forgiveness had been completed in that moment.

And then I thought about my own life. How often do I shove the sponge into Jesus' mouth? How often do I mockingly reject him with my sinful ways. And yet, in such great love and mercy, he forgives me, he loves me, and he sacrifices himself for me.

Amazing love, how can it be, that thou my God would die for me!

Our response to His Love

Recently, I've been listening to many sermons that seem to have similar messages. Recently I've been reading passages that have similar themes. Recently, I've been convicted more and more about my own sin, and more and more captivated by God's love. Recently, I've felt this grave need to share with those around me, the danger of coasting through the Christian life. The danger of not perservering.

I read chapters like Revelation 3:15-17 - "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, "I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked."

Matthew 19:24 -"...it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Hebrews 6:4-6 - "It is impossible for those who have once become enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace."

Matthew 7:13-14 - "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

John 5:44 - "How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?"

2 Corinthians 5:10 - For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Matthew 16:27 - "The Son of Man is going to come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and will then recompense every person according to his deeds."

Revelation 22:12 - "Behold, I am coming quickly, and my reward is with me, to render to every person according to what he has done"

Romans 6:1-2 - "What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?"

Philippians 2:12-13 - "Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence -- continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

James 2:26 - "Faith without works is dead."

Galatians 5:19-21 - "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

James 4:4 - "You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God."

John 5:29 - "An hour is coming, in which all who are in the tombs shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; those who did the good deeds to a resurrection of life, those who committed the evil deeds to a resurrection of judgment."

Matthew 7:21-23 - "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"

This is just the tip of the iceberg where in the Bible, we see stern, strong warnings to people over and over again about the dangers of sin, the calls to repentance, and the reality of the fact that many people who profess faith are in fact not true believers.

This issue really hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard a sermon by Matt Chandler about 5 months ago. I can't remember the passage he was preaching on, but he went off on a little sidenote, and began to describe some "red flags" to watch out for. He said that if you say "yes" to these things, these are red flags that might prove that you aren't truly saved. He didn't say they were certainties, but warnings and causes to evaluate your life. Immediately, when I heard this, I got very worried. What if he says something that applies to me? Well, it'll probably be towards nominal Christians, and that's certainly not me...The first red flag: "Is there habitual sin in your life?" Crash!! Floored by the first point. Now by nature I think I have an addictive personality, and I've come to realize that and have since tried to develop practical ways to fight against that, but that doesn't excuse the fact that I do have sins in my life that seem to be constant struggles, and I very rarely win. Now Chandler was quick to distinguish habitual sin, from a struggle. I do believe that I did have a struggle, not just giving in, but to be honest, my struggle was pretty weak.

Well, needless to say, this sermon stuck in my head for a long time. It really shook me. I started re-evaluating everything. I started looking at how comfortable I had become with my sinful life. How normal it felt to me. After all, no one's perfect. And we're not saved by works, but by faith, so to worry too much about my sin would be disbelieving in the mercy and grace of God...so I thought...but after that sermon, I've been bombarded time and time again by pastors and passages that make it very clear that your life proves your commitment to Christ. I started looking at what Paul says in Romans 6:2 "We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Am I really dead to sin? Am I really living the life that the scriptures say a Christian will live?

And I had to come to a very harsh reality. If I continue to live the way I was living, I'm proving that my faith is dead, and not true. I'm proving that it has no effect on me. Now once again, this doesn't mean that I am trusting in myself to get right before God. I'm not saying that at all. There are I'm sure many times more verses that speak of the imputed righteousness of God to us than there are the verses I mentioned in the beginning. But I had to come to grips with the reality of my salvation. If I am truly saved, what does it look like?

Well first of all, I must acknowledge God in everything. That like Philippians 2:12-13, and 1 Corinthians 15:10 says, any good thing I do, any love for God that I have, any denial of sin and praise of Christ, comes solely through the grace of God who is at work in me. So right away, I am dismantling the idea that I can somehow attain a righteousness by works. Because any of my righteous acts come from God through faith in Christ. Anyone who would claim to be able to satisfy God's righteous wrath with their works needs only to be turned to Isaiah 64:6, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags..." So nothing in and of myself can earn me any merrit with God. We are saved by faith, not works.

But if that's the case, then where do works fit in? Why does James say that faith without works is dead. Why does Jesus say that those who did good deeds will arise to the ressurection of life, and those with bad deeds to a ressurection of judgement. In Romans 2:6 says, "God "will give to each person according to what he has done." Why, if we are justified by faith, does the Bible place so much emphasis on what we do?

The key to understanding this is realizing the correct order. Faith plus works does not equal salvation. Rather, faith produces good works. In a sense, our deeds are our proof of our faith and salvation. You can't have true saving faith without any fruit. A tree that does not bear any fruit is a dead tree. Piper describes is best this way by saying that the assurance of the genuiness of our faith is our perserverence to the end. That's why Hebrews 6 isn't saying that people can lose their salvation, but rather, if they fall away, they are proving that they were never really saved in the first place.

Now passages like Romans 2:6, John 5:29, and 2 Corinthians 5:10 present fairly untapped reservoirs of truth in my life, that I think some people might find offensive upon first glance. When it comes to the last judgement, the Bible I think is very clear that EVERYONE will be judged. Paul says WE must appear before the judgement seat in 2 Corinthians 5:10. Not just the unbelievers, but all people. Some people seem to think that God will just skip over the Christians, since they are declared righteous by Christ's atonement. But these passages seem to indicate something different. All of these passages mention our "deeds." They mention our works as the criteria for which we will be judged. That doesn't seem right does it? That doesn't sound like the message we're used to. So what does it mean then?

Please just read this excerpt from Piper's sermon. He explains it much better than I can.


That leads us to the second purpose of the judgment. The first, was that the judgment makes a public demonstration of the varying degrees of reward that Christians receive for the exercise of their faith in obedience. The second purpose of the judgment is to declare openly the reality of the faith and the salvation of God's people by the evidence of their deeds. Salvation is owned by faith. Salvation is shown by deeds. So when Paul says (in v. 10) we "will be recompensed . . . according to what we have done," he not only means that our rewards will accord with our deeds, but also our salvation will accord with our deeds.

Why do I think this?

Romans 2:5-7

There are numerous texts that point in this direction. One is in Paul's letter to the Romans (2:5-7) where he refers to "The revelation of the righteous judgment of God," and then says (in vv. 6-8), "[God] will render to every man according to his deeds: to those who by perseverance in doing good seek for glory and honor and immortality [he will render] eternal life; but to those who . . . do not obey the truth . . . [he will render] wrath and indignation." In other words, just as our text says, the judgment is "according to what a person has done." But here the issue is eternal life versus wrath.

"Faith Without Works Is Dead"

Several times Paul listed certain kinds of deeds and said, "those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:21; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). In other words when these deeds are exposed at the judgment as a person's way of life, they will be the evidence that their faith is dead and they will not be saved. As James said in James 2:26, "Faith without works is dead." That is what will be shown at the judgment.

Jesus' Words

Jesus put it like this—and he used exactly the same words for good and evil deeds that we have here in 2 Corinthians 5:10. He said (in John 5:29), "An hour is coming, in which all who are in the tombs shall hear his voice, and shall come forth; those who did the good deeds to a resurrection of life, those who committed the evil deeds to a resurrection of judgment." In other words the way one lived will be the evidence whether one passes through judgment to life or whether one experiences judgment as condemnation.
He says this even though five verses earlier in John 5:24 he said, "Truly, truly I say to you, he who hears my word and believes has eternal life." To hear and to believe is to have eternal life—it is by grace through faith. But when that faith is real—not dead—the life will change and Jesus can say, with no contradiction: the deeds of this life will be the public criteria of judgment in the resurrection. Because our works are the evidence of the reality of our faith. And it is faith in Christ that saves.


Back to me now. So as you see, "our works are the evidence of the reality of our faith. And it is faith in Christ that saves." So this is what I have been wrestling with over the past 5 months. Is my faith real? Does my life show it? And by the grace of God I can say that he has comforted me in this issue, and given me assurance. And by the grace of God I have come to realize that we MUST fight sin and make war against it, because eternal life DEPENDS ON IT!!! If I stop fighting, I'm proving my faith was never real. I've gotta run the race with endurance and perservere to the end, because if I wimp out half way through, it's like I never started to begin with. I gotta throw off every sin and encumberance that would keep me from running, because this is all that matters. I've gotta get MORE SERIOUS about my life. And by the grace of God I have gotten more serious. If you've been reading my blog hopefully you're aware of that. I just needed to say, "If Christ truly is living in me, and I truly have been made a new creation, and I am dead to sin and alive in Christ, that will make a difference, that MUST make a difference." I've gotta work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I've gotta.

Now lest you think that this has become me white-knuckling my fight against sin, just saying, "I'm not gonna sin, I'm not gonna sin!" Think again. This is not a fight I wage alone. No, I wage is with many weapons. I put on the full armor of God, and I wage it with God by my side. We can not say to ourselves, "I've gotta get this sin issue under control before I can come to God." No! God is saying, "Let's work together. Remember, I'm working in you to will and to act. Come to me and drink deep from the fountain of life."

Most importantly, I can't fight sin, unless I fight it in Christ, and here's what I mean by that:

"THE FIGHT AGAINST SIN IS A FIGHT FOR JOY IN CHRIST!"

God doesn't want begrudging obedience. Piper gave a great illustration of making his son wash his car before he could drive it. His son was furious at him, but did it anyway. Do you think Piper was happy with his son's obedience? Of course not, because it wasn't done in love. In the same way, God doesn't want our obedience to come from a place that isn't ultimately satisfied in Christ alone. David in Psalm 51 says "Restore unto me the joy of my salvation." Why? Because when that joy fades, he falls into sin. The more and more you become satisfied with Christ, the more and more repugnant sin becomes to you. And that's what I've realized. And so, I want Christ always. I need him always. I want to be completely satisfied in him alone, and if anything comes in my path that would lead me away from him, it's gotta go! There is nothing neutral in this life. As Chandler said, it's not an idea of right and wrong when it comes to what we can do. It's a matter of , "DOES THIS HELP ME RUN?" Does this draw me closer to Christ. If not, it's gotta go, because Christ is all that matters to me.

There's so much more I want to say. But I'll end with this. If I have become this aware of the danger of sin, the danger of being a lukewarm Christian, which Jesus is going to spit out, which means that a lukewarm Christian is really a lukewarm non-Christian, are others aware of this? Are others aware of the serious nature of our life, and how a fight against sin is a fight to preserve our lives! This isn't merely just so we can get a few more rewards in Heaven. This is about acceptance into Heaven! Now I don't deny that God will give more to those who have been more faithful, as the parable of the talents shows us, but that parable also shows us the danger of doing nothing with his gifts. As Matthew 25:30 says, "And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth." Does that sound like he was accepted into Heaven? It doesn't to me. And I'm afraid that so many people who confess Christ with their lips but deny with him their actions are in for a very terrible wake-up call on the judgement day. And as others have said, it's not like people want to go to Hell or are even perhaps aware of the fact that their faith is dead. People don't go to church every week because they think they're not really believers. And yet, many aren't. This is scary stuff. And as Piper says, he wouldn't be loving his church if he didn't show people that some of them were going to Hell. People hate to have their assurance threatened, but many many of us need that. Desperately. I know I did. I am so grateful to these men who have challenged me to see if my faith is really true. And by God's grace it is. But I needed that test to show me that it is. And if I slump back into laziness, I need another good slap in the face to say, "MARK!! Don't realize that this is going to lead you to Hell!!" Piper said that he counseled some guy who was in adultery and was unrepentant about it and had no plan to stop, and that's exactly what he told the guy. And the guy said, but I accepted Christ, so all my sins are forgiven. But he's showing that he never really accepted Christ to begin with.

And I'm afraid that way too many people are trusting in some prayer they prayed 10, 20, or 30 years ago, but that now, their lives show no evidence of it's effects. So recently, I've been trying to encourage my friends to be serious about pursuing Holiness. Serious about actively engaging with God everyday. Salvation is a relationship with God. How can you say you have salvation if you're never with God in prayer and the Bible? You can't. And yet so many people do. Oh how I weep for those who are headed to the place where God will say, "I never knew you." I feel this sense of urgency now. A similar urgency for those who have never heard of Christ. I feel the same urgency for those who grew up with Christ, and yet have never made it real.

One more thing that scares me is the lack of affection for Christ in most Christians. So often, I just want someone to share my affection for Christ, and I try to bring it up with people, and I just feel like so many are not getting me. Shouldn't it be that when one Christian is totally fired up about the things of God, the other Christian should resound with an Amen? Am I wrong on this? Am I expecting too much from people to want to engage on that level with me? And I'm not saying everyone doesn't, or that they should at all times. There are many factors to why sometimes they may not, but if they never do, that's definitely saying something about their heart. Now I am not saying that everyone I talk to is this way. In fact, I have so many Christian friends who encourage me in my faith and we are friends mainly because of our united heart for Christ. And I owe so much of my faith and life in Christ to the ministry of so many Christian friends in my life. They have helped my sanctification so much, and I would not be where I am today, unless I had an amazing group of Christians around me building me up. For those of you who have been my close brother and sister in Christ, your friendship is worth more to me than you can ever imagine, and I will praise God for eternity for bringing you guys into my life.

Now there once again is much more I want to say, but I've already written way too much as it is. I haven't even begun to talk about how community plays into this, and how much I've been pressed recently to realize the essential nature of community in the Christian walk. But anyway yeah, those are a few of my thoughts, and I hope that if you are in Christ, that you would take seriously the fight of faith, and to make your election sure (2 Peter 1:10)and encourage your brothers and sisters to do the same!

Here's a Piper clip about the heart of a Christian, and how our hearts should be oriented towards Christ if we truly are in Christ! Our affection should ultimately be for Christ.

Philippians 4:10-13 One of the best passages for me!

Philippians 4:10-13
10I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

The book of Philippians is my favorite book of the Bible. It fills me with so much hope. And that hope produces joy. And that joy gives me the faith to be totally free in Christ. Paul's character in Philippians is just so attractive, and I just want to strive to feel the way he feels in this book. I want to know Christ the way he knows Christ in this book. I want to have the joy he has. I want to have the humble confidence that he has. And right here I think is one of the best examples of Paul's character in the book.

Can I get an Amen that Paul is just the man here in these verses. It's like the world is secondary to him. It's not even a player in his life. He's in some other place spiritually that allows him to live more freely that I can even imagine. Now remember that Paul was in prison as he wrote this book. And yet in verse 11 he says, "I am not saying this because I am in need..." YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE IN PRISON! When was the last time someone went to a prison visit, and asked if they could help in any way, and the person was like, "no, I'm cool." Now I don't think Paul was oblivious or in denial. Logically, he knew that there were things that could be done to better his situation, and yet somehow he could live in a place in his heart where he could honestly say that he was not in need. Right now, I am in need every day! How far I am from the mind of Paul.

So why isn't he in need? How is it that he has somehow escaped his circumstances? Well, he says that he has "learned to be content whatever the circumstances." This concept is life-giving for me, and I want this to mark my life, and I think it should mark the life of any strong Christian. There should be a "godly-contentment" in Christ that is not conditioned on outward circumstances. That if Christ is the source of all life and all satisfaction in your life, and he will never dry up, then the contentment will never end. Though the waves crash around your life, your boat is safe. Your base is secure. Now on the surface this may seem like denial, and honestly, I don't know how this would look in many circumstances. I haven't experienced too many terrible trials such as death, persecution, poverty, and the like. But I don't think we're meant to know how it would look. I don't think Paul did. I don't think Paul thought to himself, "If I go to prison, this is how I will handle it." No, he just lived his life, and he dealt with things as they came. That's why he says he "learned" to be content. Contentment isn't something we can plan for, it's something that is painfully learned through years of walking with Christ. I can't predict the hardships that will come my way, and I think it's kind of pointless to try and prepare my heart for every single possible scenario. Instead, you live out this contentedness today! What does it look like to be content in Christ today? What does it look like tomorrow? How can I be more content in Christ today than I was yesterday? And through years and decades of this daily learning process, you build up to a contentment with Christ, so that when you are put in prison for the sake of the gospel, you can say with Paul that you have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

I'll tell you why for me, this concept and way of life is so freeing for me. It frees me from the responsibility to be "somebody." It frees me from the world's demand that I do things "their" way. That I find contentment in "their" outlets. I'll tell you, when you look at what the world is offering, it only leads to discontentment.

Let's look at my life outlook at this point. No future job prospects. No woman in my life. No car. No house. No this ... no that... There's a lot of things that the world has to offer, that I don't have!!! How disappointing. How discontent I should be. Right? Unfortunately many days, this is true. I fall into the snair that I need to be "somebody." I need to find the perfect wife. I need to have the most respectful job. I need to be liked and recognized by the most people. I need to be the most super Christian out there. These are things that do plague my thoughts, but they shouldn't. Who cares???????? I know other people don't care about those things for me. I know God isn't worried about me? So why should I be?

And thus, the freedom roles in. I can honestly say that in the past month, I feel that I have gotten a taste of this passage. I feel this bubble of protection around me, and that is God filling my life with his comfort and contentment. Even though life is tough, and even though I don't have all the things the world is offering me, I can honestly say I feel glimpses of this contentment that Paul speaks of. That my life is all about Christ. It's not about me. It's not about my fame or my glory. It's all about Christ's fame and his glory. I will make myself lower in order to make him higher. And to honestly desire that...that's a gift from God. But I can taste it. Really I can. I can taste this desire to make him the center, and make me an agent of glory reflection. So it doesn't matter what happens. So I can confidently say that I can "do everything through him who gives me strength." I can live for Christ, I can die for Christ. I can prosper for Christ, I can suffer for Christ. I can starve for Christ. I can be betrayed for Christ. I can love for Christ. No matter what, good or bad, sick or healthy, rich or poor, happy or sad, I live not for myself, but for the glory of Christ, and if you really take time to think about that, IT'S SO FREEING AND EMPOWERING! Take the weight off yourself, and put it on Christ. His yoke is easy. Giving your life to Christ, and really letting him take the wheel and drive for many might seem like such a sacrifice, but for me, I can't think of a better, more hopeful way to live. Now I don't deny or don't pretend to be oblivious to the real trials that Christians are called to face, but once again, it is God who is working in me, to will and to work all things for his good pleasure!

I heard John Piper talk about this passage. And he said he would ask his seminary students what they can do through Christ who strengthens them. They said the usual "good things." Then Piper said, "what about starve through him who gives me strength." All the students said, "no, no, that's not what it's talking about." But that's exactly the context of the passage. "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." How often have we heard this passage presented that way? Usually it's so fakely presented, and I think we all realize it. "I can fly to the moon through him who strengthens me!" "I can become the star basketball player through him who strengthens me." I mean you can just tell how much it's taken out of context when the passage is presented that way. But if we present it the way Paul is presenting it, then it's got some meat to it. I can "die" through him who strengthens me. That'll put some hair on your chest if you can believe that. It'll open up worlds of freedom for you to. That no matter what the circumstances, I can remain content in Christ who strengthens me. That I can press on and perservere through Christ who strengthens me. I don't know how else to live, than through the promises of God in passages like this. How else can you press on when life "happens." There's just too many bad things that happens to everyone for us to be naive enough to think that they won't happen to us as well. So we gotta have our foundation in something that is unchanging. We gotta have our faith in the one who says in Hebrews 13:5:
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."

God's sovereignty

It's funny how the word sovereignty has almost become a curse word in certain circles depending on who you talk to. How is it that an attribute of God would bring about such disdain and difficult feelings in the hearts of so many people. Why is it that "Calvinism" feels almost as naughty of a word among Christians, as the word "Christian" does among the world. Why do I feel increasingly isolated by what I see to be the only way to view the Bible accurately.

Now, with all of that said, I must say that I have had my own struggles with the sovereignty of God, just as the biggest supporters of it did, such as John Edwards. In fact, for literally 2 years, I became what felt like an insane Christian. I literally lost everything I felt like I knew about God. I remember it so vividly. I had just come home from literally one of the most amazing, goldy experiences of my life. I was talking to one of my Christian brothers, and it was one of those conversations where you knew that God was a third person in the conversation. It was like he was speaking through us. The Holy Spirit was present in that conversation in a way like never before in my life. I was saying things that caught me off guard, and my friend as well. As I drove home that night, I praised God thanking him for all the blessings he gave me. And all of a sudden, it hit me. "Why me?" "Why did God choose me and not any other Joe out there as undeserving as me?" And literally, on that night, I felt like I lost my perception of God. From that point on God seemed unfair to me.

I went on for two years in college in red hot pursuit of answers. I talked to pastors, mentors, parents, friends, anyone I could to get some clarity on the topic. I read every verse supporting both sides. I read books. I read sermons. I listened to sermons. I did everything I could think of. I laid in bed on many nights, unable to sleep, wanting to scream, pleading with God to give me peace about the situation. I just wanted to see God in the right way. For me, I just couldn't see him as loving anymore in his exclusiveness. For 2 years I went to church and felt foreign there. I felt like I was missing something that everyone else was experiencing.

But the reason I just didn't turn "Arminian" as it were, was because I couldn't escape what the Bible said. What the Bible says pretty much everywhere. I mean, most people will point to Romans 9 and use that as their baseboard (and a good one it is) as their argument, but when I look at the Bible, it's in the very nature, the air of the Bible. The Bible oozes the sovereignty of God. From the very beginning, God sovereignly at work in everything. He hardens Pharoh's heart, again and again and again. What others meant for evil towards Joseph, GOD meant for good. He is clearly sovereign over the entire story of Job, and when Job questions God's motives and sovereignty, God lectures him for 3 chapters saying, "Where were you...? Who are you...?" In John 3:8, Jesus says referring to the Holy Spirit, "The wind blows wherever it pleases." And of course, Romans 9, which I will leave to you to read and see for yourself how plain things are. Just the entire feel of the Bible attributes EVERYTHING, good or bad, to the sovereign ordaining of God. Even the very presence of sin itself is because God ordained it. Everything that lead up to the cross is because God willed it. If God didn't ordain each sin involved in the crucifixion of Jesus, we wouldn't have the gospel, because it would no longer be God punishing his son for our sins. It would merely be coincidence that he died, not by the hand of God. If you want, now would be a good time to go to the bottom to watch the Piper clip on this, it's really really powerful.

With all of that said, in my 2 years of turmoil over this issue, I couldn't escape the truth of God's sovereignty, and the fact that the Bible has no qualms about it. It doesn't try to apologize for God's sovereignty, it just excepts it. And no one in the Bible complains about it either. Job says, "Shall I accept good from God, and not trouble?" Job's saying, it's all from God. The good and the bad. And he accepts it.

So for 2 years I labored, but I never gave up, because I knew that God was doing this for a reason, and I knew he would lead me out of the pit eventually. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, it was just very dim. But I trusted that if this was true, and if I was a true Christian, that eventually God would reconcile my heart to this issue. And honestly, I don't know how, or when it happened. But I can say that after 2 years, I have come from fearing this doctrine, to embracing and loving it with my very essence. Now this doesn't mean that I have forgotten the qualms I had against it, but I now know why I had those qualms, and I know how to argue against them if they arise in my soul.

First, I was desperately helped by a Mark Driscoll sermon in a series on "Religion Saves: and Nine other misconceptions." He published a book based on that series by the same title. He described everything so well. He described our sin, our responsibility, God's will and his intervention in such a good, simple, easy to understand way. And it just reaffirmed so much for me, and from then on, it's been a healing process for me.

From there, I went on to hear a sermon by John MacArthur about the existence of Sin in the world, and God's hand in that. And after that sermon, I knew it was either all the way embracing of this doctrine, or I have to get out of Christianity all-together. It's either embrace the God that these men are showing me in the Bible, or go athiest. And so I embraced this God, and WORLDS of truth, grace, and comfort have opened up to me.

Here is I think, the biggest problem and obstacle I had to accepting this biblical view of God. First and formost is that I was sitting in the judgment seat, and I was judging God. We all do this. We see something and we blame God for it. We see something, and we accuse God of doing wrong. This is straight up blasphemy, but it's all too common. We are basically accusing a Holy God of sinning. But that's what I was doing. And as John Piper has pointed out, he thinks one of the main reasons that God has allowed us to know about God's sovereignty is so that we would get out of the judgment seat and let God take his rightful place as judge. I mean think about it. God didn't have to let us know he's in control. He could have kept that hidden. And then in the end reveal that it was him all along. But he chose to reveal that aspect of his nature to us. Why? Well for one reason, so that we would learn to trust completely in his revealed nature, and stop questioning him. That like Job, we would be quiet, and repentantly say, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

And another reason why God chose to reveal this to us, is because if we embrace this, we embrace a centrally God-focused view of the world. If God is in complete control of the world, you have to have a God centered view of everything. Anything else begins to slip into deism in one form or another. The reason an Arminian will be so difficult to win over to "Calvinism" as it were (which I believe is just another word for saying, "seeing the Bible correctly") is because it requires a change of their lense that they see the world through. It is the biggest worldview shift you can make as a Christian. You go from an individualistic culture like America, where it's all about me me me, and you say, it's not about me AT ALL. It's all about Christ. The very reason I'm alive is to glorify Christ. And I will either glorify God in my accepting Christ and glorifying his mercy, or I will glorify Christ in God's righteous justice and judgment of sin being served. But either way, every single person on the earth was born to glorify God, and every single person, whether they like it or not, will glorify God. Pharoh did. Pilote did. God even said countless times, "I'm hardening Pharoh's heart for my glory." Pharoh sinned, and God was glorified in his judgment of Pharoh's sin. If that's not a worldview shift, I don't know what is.

So with that said, I am trying at least, to be gracious to those who might not like this doctrine of grace at first glance. Looking at my own history, it took me two years to settle the matter with any kind of peace. Then thinking about the actual weight of what it means to accept these truths is another big issue. As John Piper says, we've gotta take our eyes, and soak them in some gospel acid for us to see the world correctly.

And this is really the other big thing. With guys like Piper, Driscoll, Chandler, Mahaney, Mason, MacArthur, Spurgeon, Edwards, Lewis, Calvin, and many others, I just gotta be on this team. And this team is totally all about the sovereignty of God. They breath it in their sermons. They live by it. It's Piper's main mission in life. To spread a passion for the glory of God!!!!! You can't spread a passion for the glory of God without worshiping him for his sovereignty. You can't worship a God you can't rely on. You can't worship a God you can't say works ALL THINGS FOR THE GOOD OF THOSE WHO LOVE HIM. That means the good the bad, and the ugly, it all worked, by God, sovereignly, for our good. And upon embracing this doctrine, wave after wave after wave of comfort, enligtenment, strength, worship, and Christ-centered satisfaction have fallen upon my life. I live by this doctrine. I love this doctrine of grace. I live each day affirming it. Knowing that nothing I bring to the table gets me anywhere. The very faith in which I possess, is a gift given to me, by God.

Now I am not saying that if you don't embrace this, that you're not a Christian. I know many Christians that argue very strongly with me. But I would say that I think they are missing a huge piece to who God is, and that their lives would be totally, radically changed if they could embrace this.

With that said, here is one of just literally 1000s of amazing sermons that I've heard that affirm this truth, and make me love it all the more. It's only two minutes long, but you see Piper's passion for God's sovereignty, and it echoes the growing passion that has been welling up in me!

CJ Mahaney is a wellspring of powerful messages

I've heard a lot about CJ Mahaney, and have listened to brief excerpts by him. But recently I decided to get a couple of his sermons and listen to them, and I really appreciate all that I've heard him say. He says things in a way that you know he's convicted about them, but at the same time, in a huge way, he says everything in love. Everything he says you feel like he's telling you because he loves you and wants to see you grow.

A couple things he said that really stuck out to me were actually quotes from Spurgeon, so perhaps this should be more about Spurgeon than Mahaney, but they were merely illustrations that proved his point. None-the-less, these quotes were what stuck out to me most in his messages. The first message I listened to was on how to "Preserve Pastors." And mentioned how Spurgeon said at one point "Whitefield and Wesley might preach the gospel better than I can, but they cannot preach a better gospel!" This is so humbling and so comforting. That while yes there are people more gifted at preaching, speaking, persuading, and talking, the power of the gospel does not depend on their talent. It is powerful enough as is. So that no matter how bumbling my speech may be, no matter how boring I may present the gospel to someone, if I am faithful in proclaiming the truth, the Holy Spirit will work! This gives me hope as I seek to use my words to help others see Christ.

In another sermon I heard on not conforming to worldliness, Mahaney was saying how this generation of Christians in America doesn't face persecution from the world, but seduction. And he quoted Spurgeon again. Now remember that Spurgeon was writing in the 19th century, in a time that can not be compared in it's scope the amount of pressure worldliness has on our lives today. But Spurgeon, even at that time said something along the lines of "the church is so ineffective at influencing the world because it is being too influenced by the world." Piper has said similar things about being "IN" the world, but not "OF" the world. Piper makes it clear that this lifestyle is walking a razor's edge. That to cut yourself off from the world, you fall off one side, and to embrace the sin of the world, you fall off the other. And he says, most Christians struggle to walk that edge. He said a good way to test yourself is exactly what Spurgeon said. Are the people you are seeking to influence being more influenced by you, or are you being more influenced by them. Sadly in my life, I fear that I have been too easily seduced by the world. By things that are contrary to God. Piper says in another place that he feels that the next generation (my generation) of Christians is amazingly well-studied and theologically sound. There is a zeal for doctrine that has been absent in previous generations. But along with that, there is a lack of discernment when it comes to the open-handed embracing that our generation has had with the world. We just love soaking in it's sin. Piper calls it "dangling wires" that this generation has. That we love the Word and theology, but alongside of that, we love the world. For me, I see historically this being an all too accurate assessment in my life, and something that has taken years of reflection and distance from God to realize how dangerous the effects of bedding down with the world really are.

Mahaney went on to talk about another man who wrote a book about an experience this man had with an Amish person. With many interesting and at times humorous moments, he sought to show how completely out of place this Amish man was with the culture. And Mahaney was saying that this is exactly how the world should see Christians. Now not saying that we should adopt the Amish lifestyle or theology, but in the sense that we are so counter-cultural and so firm in our beliefs and so concerned about holiness, that we just walk to the beat of a different drum, and we look different. This also doesn't mean that we should be ignorant of culture either. But in our lives, we need to ask ourselves, how different do we look from our neighbors, apart from Sunday morning? Or have we been seduced by the same sinful temptations that capture the hearts of every other man? This is my battle. This is my burden.

Lastly, Mahaney gave an amazing sermon on the "Cup of Christ." This is something I have come back to thinking about countless times over the past years, and it becomes more and more staggering and real to me each time I revisit the scene, particularly at Gethsemene. Mahaney in this clip, which has had music and visual images added to it, gives a powerful depiction of what Christ went through in preparation for going to the cross. I also heard an amazing sermon on prayer by Driscoll, where he dives into the prayer of Jesus before the cross. This is, the garden that is in the context of what follows it on the cross, for me perhaps, the most gripping, heart-wrenching display of Jesus' love for us in the Bible.